Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DB wants half his ex's house

255 replies

username103842 · 14/01/2022 16:38

DB was with his partner for the last 6 years. She has been very successful career wise and earns a high salary and had her own house before they met. Despite working himself (he earns about half what his ex does) he just moved in and did not pay a single bill in the whole 6 years. He did buy some furniture occasionally but other than that she paid for everything.

She split up with him a few month ago and he is now back at our parents house. He could rent his own place but it has dawned after all his bills he wouldn't have much left. He actually would have more than many I think he is so use to have his whole wage he has got a shock.

Anyway with encouragement of my parents he has decided he is going to see a solicitor to get half of her house Confused. I don't have a clue of the legalities and doubt he will get anywhere. I try not to get involved in it all but I'm getting daily phones calls from him and my parents about it. Which is driving me mad so I have stopped answering most of them.

I know this isn't actually any of my business so please don't start with them comments. I feel like I am forced to be involved when I actually want to say it's wrong. I suppose the only reason I am asking AIBU to think that way is when you thinking of other situations like when a cohabiting couple have children and the mother doesn't work/contribute financial to the house. I certainly wouldn't feel the same in that circumstance.

OP posts:
alienalan · 15/01/2022 17:39

Is your bro single? He sounds like a catch! I pity the fool who gets stuck with him next

🤣

Catastrophejane · 15/01/2022 17:51

Even if they’d been married in this situation, the most he’d get would be a couple of months rent.

If they had been married with kids, it would be a different story.

He is due nothing. What a tool!

ShoshanaBlue101 · 15/01/2022 17:52

I know of someone who was in a similar situation a few years ago, but he did pay the lion's share of all the bills etc and he got about £6k

Juststopamoment · 15/01/2022 17:53

Sounds like your parents are enabling him to be a freeloader. His ex financially supported him for 6 years and yet they still think she owes him. I hope it ends up with them spending their own money on solicitors fees and then getting nothing back and I hope a lesson is learned. Poor woman.

FangsForTheMemory · 15/01/2022 17:56

I would at least say you don't want to hear any more about it from him or your parents. I'd be tempted to tell them all he's got a nerve and it's time for him to stand on his own two feet. He sounds awful.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 15/01/2022 18:02

ooh, I'd have some fun with it! I'd encourage him, take his side, goad him into it etc etc.

Mollymoostoo · 15/01/2022 18:06

No wonder they split up.

jade9390 · 15/01/2022 18:15

It is worth a try. My brother owned a house and married to an old trout for about 3 months, everyone warned him that she just liked weddings. She got a few grand out of it.

lemonsorbetinthesun · 15/01/2022 18:18

Perhaps explain to your parents that he’s unlikely to get anywhere, and if a solicitor does take the case - this will cost him significantly and make it even less likely that he’ll be able to afford to leave their home.

He could (as previous poster pointed out) actually end up not only loosing, but with a counter claim for him living there for free!

Hawkins001 · 15/01/2022 18:20

@username103842

DB was with his partner for the last 6 years. She has been very successful career wise and earns a high salary and had her own house before they met. Despite working himself (he earns about half what his ex does) he just moved in and did not pay a single bill in the whole 6 years. He did buy some furniture occasionally but other than that she paid for everything.

She split up with him a few month ago and he is now back at our parents house. He could rent his own place but it has dawned after all his bills he wouldn't have much left. He actually would have more than many I think he is so use to have his whole wage he has got a shock.

Anyway with encouragement of my parents he has decided he is going to see a solicitor to get half of her house Confused. I don't have a clue of the legalities and doubt he will get anywhere. I try not to get involved in it all but I'm getting daily phones calls from him and my parents about it. Which is driving me mad so I have stopped answering most of them.

I know this isn't actually any of my business so please don't start with them comments. I feel like I am forced to be involved when I actually want to say it's wrong. I suppose the only reason I am asking AIBU to think that way is when you thinking of other situations like when a cohabiting couple have children and the mother doesn't work/contribute financial to the house. I certainly wouldn't feel the same in that circumstance.

As I understand and I'm no lawyer, but no marriage no separation of assets, and only more bills he will have to pay trying to chase the idea.
Hawkins001 · 15/01/2022 18:21

Or on the flip side, tell him to go for it, give it his best, and then watch when it all goes pickles.

Wiscowoman87 · 15/01/2022 18:23

It sounds like your DB and parents want you to agree with them and draw you into THEIR / HIS (likely losing) battle. UGH.

I would keep saying non-committal things like "I don't know the law - the court will have to decide and let you know" etc., etc. And keep saying it, over and over.

Don't get hooked into their scheme or you'll never hear the end of it.

Not your monkey - not your circus.

Gilly12345 · 15/01/2022 18:24

Why are you parents encouraging your Brother with this stupid idea?

He is taking the piss.

Amandasummers · 15/01/2022 18:24

For what reason are you unable to say it’s wrong? Fuck this. I would be absolutely mortified if my family were this entitled! I hope the solicitor laughs them out of the room!

verytiredofbeingshoutedat · 15/01/2022 18:27

They weren't married?
He will get nothing
He deserves nothing
He is a cock lodger and I hope the courts remind him of that

ChiefStockingStuffer · 15/01/2022 18:29

He's a greedy idiot.

She owes him nothing; he's nothing more than an ex-boyfriend who was living rent free for years.

Your parents are deluded. I'd point out to them that he'll be living there even longer if he blows his remaining money on solicitors fees thinking there will be a pay off.

Hertsgirl10 · 15/01/2022 18:31

For someone that isn’t entitled to anything he seems very entitled 😂

What are your parents playing at? Are they sick of him already?

KERALA1 · 15/01/2022 18:34

Very odd mindset why on earth does he think that? Not married and he didn't contribute to the house no claim whatsoever. He was jolly lucky to live there rent free for so long/ Dreadful that your parents are encouraging this. If I got that letter he would get one straight back demanding for 6 years back dated rent by the end of the week.

ForTheLoversOutThere · 15/01/2022 18:36

Your brother and your parents are money grabbing arseholes

Unbelievable

StrifeOfBath · 15/01/2022 18:38

Your parents are ridiculous and will end up costing him money if he follows their advice.

I would tell him and them that he stands no chance because:
They were not married snd there is no such thing as a legally recognised common law marriage
His name is not in the deeds
He paid nothing towards the house.
There is nothing that legally entitled him to so much as a tile from the roof.

I would also tell all of them that it is greedy, harassing and immoral to even want a share of a house that he contributed nothing towards.

Why pander you their shit?

Happyher · 15/01/2022 18:43

I would speak to your parents, tell them it’s a waste of money and he’d be better spending it on a deposit for a flat.

Arethechildreninbedyet · 15/01/2022 18:49

Good luck to him. He’ll be laughed out of court if it gets that far with a few thousand lighter.

They sound awful OP.

BigYellowHat · 15/01/2022 18:50

So he was basically a lodger 😂 Nice try.

MadeForThis · 15/01/2022 18:55

Who is paying for the solicitor?

If it's him I would warn his ex and reassure her that he doesn't stand a chance. Then stand back and hope he wastes a lot of money.

Swipe left for the next trending thread