Was this a dodgy massage?!

[Dodgyornotdodgy]

I swear I am NOT a troll - MNHQ can confirm I am a long time poster who has NC. I would particularly like the opinions of masseuses/masseurs but anyone really.

I get massages all the time and this has never happened before.

Masseur (so male - not a problem, have masseurs fairly often too. Not sexist and not assuming all men are pervs).

During the leg portion of my massage he crossed my leg over and massaged the bottom of my thigh. The bottom of my thigh was over my vulva. It was extremely arousing, obviously. I didn’t really know what to say - he did it on both sides.

I guess my AIBU is - AIBU to think this was deliberate and he knows what he is doing?! Or am I just quite sex starved and bizarre?

I realise people will come on being like why didn’t you say anything but 1) I wasn’t really sure if he was doing anything on purpose ajd 2) to be honest it was pleasant!

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I actually don't find this funny. A masseuse I know of got away with brushing past/massaging intimate areas because women often doubt themselves and not believe in themselves and their experience. It was only when a few women took him to court, and he appeared in the local paper,
that a load more women realised that they HAD actually been assaulted and came forward. Trust in your instinct OP.

Jesus Christ I will 100% be complaining. Just got undressed to have a bath - look at the mark he left on my shoulder/arm! He used suction cups “to help with the knots”. Again I had never ever heard of it before but this can’t be right?!?

@Dodgyornotdodgy make sure you complain in writing. And list all of your issues.

@Dodgyornotdodgy the marks are to be expected after cupping. The rest of it is completely unacceptable, against any ethical codes and possibly sexual abuse. for you.

@Dodgyornotdodgy

Jesus Christ I will 100% be complaining. Just got undressed to have a bath - look at the mark he left on my shoulder/arm! He used suction cups “to help with the knots”. Again I had never ever heard of it before but this can’t be right?!?

That’s cupping and it’s pretty normal to get marks like ths. It will go away in few days. It’s also not tender like a bruise etc… (well it’s not supposed to be). Many athletes have that done Here for photos of the last Olympics

HOWEVER, this should have been explained to you before hand, both what is for, how it works and possible issues with it. If the masseur didn’t, then they didn’t get your consent and this is not.

Thank you for the cupping info!!! Makes me reassured - nearly had a heart attack when I saw my back.

He did NOT ask me - just stuck it on and explained what it was during, which is not ok.

OP we all have times when we feel aroused and it’s not expected. Some people feel aroused with certain things and others don’t
If the rest of the massage felt respectful than the masseuse may have been unaware.
Trust your own judgment

OP, not at all funny, it's clear you're bewildered.

My husband is really good at massage, and he does exactly what you describe, but only when its before sex because it is really really arousing.

I absolutely recognise what you're saying, and having experienced it at home, if I had the same treatment in a hotel I would consider it assault.

That may sound extreme to others, but in my life, this is foreplay.

Oh, and the cupping without asking is an unstudied sign to me that he doesn't see this as being led by you.

Awful.

And that's without the mirror issue.

@lborgia

THANK YOU!!!!!!!! This is exactly the sort of thing I needed to hear - someone knowing what I mean, knowing how arousing it is and understanding why I am confused!

Separately, I am jealous of and extremely impressed by husbands doing this as foreplay! Those are keepers

The cupping marks are normal
Sounds like you had a sports massage.

@DobbyTheHouseElk

It wasn’t a sports massage - it was a hot stone massage!

[quote Dodgyornotdodgy]@DobbyTheHouseElk

It wasn’t a sports massage - it was a hot stone massage![/quote]
Ok. So where where the stones?

A hot stones massage certainly doesn’t have bent knees.

Is that a burn from a stone? The mark. Sounds like a very odd massage the more you tell us about it. Was the therapist using the stones when he was “jiggling your thigh fat”?

@DobbyTheHouseElk

I’m not sure if you’re implying I’m lying but it’s not hard to understand:

Most of the massage was me lying on my front. He did hot stones on my back and the cupping. I turned over and he did my legs. Which was when the incident occurred. He did use the hot stones with my knees bent but not for the thigh bit. The mark was from suction cups which I’ve already explained.

I certainly agree that it was a very, very odd massage!

I cannot for the life of me work out what position your legs would have been in for an outer thigh massage to be arousing.

@HippeePrincess

Lots of people have understood but I appreciate it’s very very confusing (I have included a diagram)

@Dodgyornotdodgy

The fact that your stickman masseur has a little stick boner in your diagram is cracking me up

That is an arrow!!!!!

As people may have guessed, I am not the most natural of artists.

Bahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

You get my vote for classics- this is actually hilarious xxx

I didn’t really know what to say

Same time next week, surely?

@Dodgyornotdodgy

MNHQ might delete this but don’t say I didn’t try (surely I win some sort of diagram award for attempting this though)

I’m in absolute bits in this

@Dodgyornotdodgy no, not at all implying you are lying. I’m a massage therapist and I’m trying to work it out.

@FlasherMcGruff

I mean if you think about the parking diagrams commonly requested on MN; this was a lot trickier to draw! I did my level best

@DobbyTheHouseElk

Ok, thank you. I don’t really understand his decisions - the hot stones on the legs seemed nice/normal!

OP, was the mirror affixed to the wall, or was it a moveable mirror placed on the table? I'm trying to ascertain whether he could have deliberately placed the mirror a certain way.

You say he 'was looking/looked away when I saw him.' Do you mean he was already looking away when you glanced at the mirror, or that he looked away the moment he saw you glance at the mirror?

When he raised the towel, you were presumably naked apart from the thong. If so, and he definitely looked in the mirror this is a clear cause for complaint, even if he 'looked accidentally' which is highly unlikely.

And as others have said, even if he didn't look in the mirror, there shouldn't be a mirror there and you should be able to move without being uncovered.