Ireland . Tonight . A woman beaten to death in broad daylight

[goodyear2021]

I know this is predominantly
A UK site but I am so full of rage .
Beautiful young girl. 23 year old teacher went for a run at 4pm beaten to death.yesterday afternoon .
What can we do to stop this relaxed attitude to violence against women. We are all hurting here.
AIBU to think that violence against some. Women ever ever be fucking taken seriously .
110 convictions and out on bail murder Ed Ashling on a run way called after another woman who was brutally murdered there.
I'm full
Of sadness and fucking rage . I'm
Done with this shit for our girls.

I don’t know what the situation is in Ireland but there have been multiple campaigns in the U.K. to set up a register of domestic abusers, similar to a sex offenders register, as so many offenders have multiple victims over many years.

Rachel Williams was almost murdered by her ex-husband, who had form in previous relationships. She survived being shot and beaten, after which her ex killed himself, only to then have to deal with the suicide of their 16yo son a few weeks later. She’s written a book called The Devil At Home.

She also has a petition running for a domestic abusers register here: www.change.org/p/boris-johnson-prime-minister-stop-serial-perpetrators-and-stalkers-abusing-multiple-women/u/28879018

Laura Richards, whose tweet I posted earlier in the thread, is worth following on Twitter. She’s a criminal behaviour analyst and vocal campaigner on coercive control and domestic abuse. Her handle is @laurarichards99 and her website is www.laurarichards.co.uk

And, let's not forget, if the murderer IS caught and sentenced, all he'd have to do is say "I'm a woman" and he'd be housed in the women's estate. See "Barbie Kardashian".

Because the law says that lives of a thousand women are worth less than the desires of one man.

@CliantheLang

And, let's not forget, if the murderer IS caught and sentenced, all he'd have to do is say "I'm a woman" and he'd be housed in the women's estate. See "Barbie Kardashian".

Because the law says that lives of a thousand women are worth less than the desires of one man.

I believe that individual actually is in a woman’s prison though. For crimes against women, with a strong admitted desire to attack, rape, torture, and kill women.

The mind absolutely boggles. Might as well put a tiger in the deer enclosure at the zoo.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Agreed. And this thread demonstrates that even on Mumsnet, some women have a low bar for male behaviour and, in instances of male violent crime to women, immediately jump to what women should or shouldn't be doing to avoid being killed

I do not think the two are mutually exclusive! The system is stacked against us, absolutely we need it to change but, because it IS stacked against us AND utterly corrupt, and will be for the foreseeable as we're run by narcissists and psychopaths who only care about themselves, we women need to be very copped-on and do whatever we need to do to protect ourselves. To argue otherwise is dangerously naive and self-defeating. We live in a very flawed, unjust world. We can't change anyone else only ourselves. We need to be aware of this and look out for ourselves. I think we could all do with learning self-defence and even martial arts . We could also all do with learning that it's crucial not to worry about being impolite to men who behave inappropriately and that in fact, it's the one time it's right to be rude. I was approached by a man on an empty street one night, he crossed the road to talk to me in fact. Now I was older and I know decent men do NOT do this as they know it makes us feel threatened so I told him to piss of or I'd get nasty. I hissed it at him in fact! Luckily for me he pissed off! I had my keys between my fingers. I was ready to run to the nearest door screaming if I needed to. I was on the alert. No way am I implying that women who get attacked are anyway at fault- the fault is all the attackers, but NO person taught me this when I was growing up, not even my mother and I resent that because we SHOULD bloody well be taught. We need to look out for other women too, especially our daughters and teach them about these things and how to minimise the risks. For as long as we are living in a corrupt system, and lobbying for change takes time, these are the only things we can do in the short term IMO, unless you can think of anything else?

[quote CaveMum]@2Gen you need to be a bit careful about what you are saying. The man initially arrested has been reported as an immigrant in the media but he has now been released without charge as he has an alibi. There is nothing at the moment to say that this horrific crime wasn’t committed by a born and bred local man.[/quote]
I read that after I wrote that post but I stand by it- if he's an immigrant, which he still may be, he won't be deported. If he's a native, he won't get a severe enough sentence, the defence barrister will still try to get as lenient a sentence as possible and if he gets Judge Nolan, he will get little more than a slap on the wrists, but one thing there won't be is hordes of NGOs trying to shield him even more from justice!

President Higgins has issued a statement conveying his sympathy and that of the country to Ashling’s family.
He also says

*It is of crucial importance that we take this opportunity, as so many people have already done in the short time since Ashling’s death, to reflect on what needs to be done to eliminate violence against women in all its aspects from our society, and how that work can neither be postponed nor begin too early.

May I suggest to all our people to reflect on all of our actions and attitudes – and indeed those we may have been leaving unchallenged amongst those whom we know – and do all we can to ensure that the society we live in is one where all of our citizens are free to live their lives, participate fully, in an atmosphere that is unencumbered by risks for their safety. Let us respond to this moment of Ashling’s death by committing to the creation of a kinder, more compassionate and empathetic society for all, one that will seek to eliminate all threats of violence against any of our citizens, and commit in particular to bringing an end, at home and abroad, to violence against women in any of its forms.*

We need to look out for other women too, especially our daughters and teach them about these things and how to minimise the risks.

I asked the pp who insisted women need to be more careful this but received no answer - HOW?

Don’t go out at night? Don’t be drunk or vulnerable? Don’t wear revealing clothes? Don’t go off with unknown men? Have a respectable job rather than bring typecast as one of ‘those girls?’

This was a teacher of small children on a run in BROAD DAYLIGHT!! How can you possibly be any more careful than that!

Should women stay home at all times? Only be allowed out with a male chaperone who they trust not to attack them? There’s no way this woman could have minimised the risk of what happened to her - it was the afternoon when many people would be returning home from work by necessity. Outside of crouching in a corner at home hiding (presumably unable to work so putting her in a vulnerable position of depending on a man for financial security) I literally do not see how she could have been any more careful or minimised the risk.

And as for self defence and martial arts, in general unless you’ve trained for years upon years and are a highly skilled martial artist it’s extremely unlikely to actually help you in a fight. Even the best self defence teachers will admit that the first thing you should do is run, and against a man? A woman has little chance of turning that 6 week self defence course (heel of hand to the nose, poke him in the eyes, scrape your shoe down his shin) into a chance of beating him.

@2Gen

The murderer won't be deported, and it is likely, going by past experience of murders committed by immigrants, that he'll be dubbed "mentally ill". There are also far too many NGOs falling over themselves to shield immigrants from facing proper justice when they commit crimes.

Not sure why you’re using Ashling’s murder as a platform for your immigration views given we don’t know who killed her but I think you’ll find that the ‘mental health issues’ defence is given to white killers.

This will probably be very unpopular but here it goes. I recall a thread on here and the discussion was whether someone would report their son for sexual assault. The number who stated they would protect and lie for their son was astounding and disgusting. Misogyny and violence for the most part starts somewhere and the fact that many of these parents would happily lie about the violence carried by their son makes me believe that what we reach our children at home plays a large part. Stop excusing your kids behaviour, drum it into them that violence against anyone is wrong. Teach them about respecting themselves and those around them. Stop with generalisations about men because somewhere along the line they have learnt this behaviour and it won’t always be because they have had a crap childhood. Sometimes it’s because we as parents haven’t educated them properly, we all need to do better.

I would feel much safer if women were allowed to carry guns, and men were not allowed. This would give us a change to protect ourselves against men who are larger and stronger that women.
But obviously this won't work.

*chance, not change

I did martial arts as a kid. And if someone is much heavier that you, you don't have much chance to fight them.

Although I would still recommend martial arts lessons to girls. Girls are often afraid to fight back, and martial arts remove that fear.

@Focus126

I would feel much safer if women were allowed to carry guns, and men were not allowed. This would give us a change to protect ourselves against men who are larger and stronger that women. But obviously this won't work.

I feel like this sometimes but then I think about pepper spray which is legal to carry in the USA - you’re as likely to have it taken from you and used against you as you are to use it against an attacker to help you escape them.

Same with guns. A man could overpower you. Perhaps he could force/coerce a woman he knows or is in a relationship with to procure one for him.

That’s what makes all this so scary. It’s easy to say learn self defence/take precautions/be a better mother to your sons to teach them etc but the true fact is that until men decide to stop attacking women, women will keep being attacked. It’s not in women’s hands to solve.

@Idontreplytotrolls is there a reason why you are policing my comment and nobody else's, on a thread where plenty of people are venting? I did think about what I posted, that was why I posted it. What exactly was offensive? The names of the murdered women I named? The fact that I put some actual names to the epidemic of violence that women faced in the last 12 months?

The comment about men not being allowed out was exaggeration - I'd thought that would have been obvious but clearly not.

I'm also not sure exactly who I am supposed to unify with - which was exactly my point. We aren't safe in daylight, at nighttime, outside, or in our own homes. We aren't even safe from the fucking police.

Totally agree with you. Is someone's life less valuable because they are not beautiful. I think when someone is young its all about the life they haven't lived and the potential lost but every woman's life is equally important and they are loved and missed.

I'm done with a minutes silence. Women need to be doing a minutes scream in all the places they congregate to remember.

@PleasantBirthday

I'm done with a minutes silence. Women need to be doing a minutes scream in all the places they congregate to remember.

Thats a good idea. Too much silence

Apparently a man went to hospital with injuries consistent with someone defending themselves against him. Hopefully it is Ashling's killer and they arrest him and prove it.

Even before my little 1 year old daughter was born I decided she will be learning martial arts from an early age. I don't trust that society will be a safe place but she will at least have a chance of protecting herself.

RIP Ashling.

They are reporting tonight that the post-mortem puts cause of death as strangulation. Strangulation is a very intimate crime (the perpetrator has to literally get face to face with the victim), it’s not the usual go-to for a random attacker who would normally hit/stab/strike.

I still maintain the most likely case is that she was murdered by someone who knew her.

CaveMum, where did you see that report?

@PleasantBirthday

I'm done with a minutes silence. Women need to be doing a minutes scream in all the places they congregate to remember.

The comments under breaking news.ie and journal.ie make me want to scream.

@ridemesideway

CaveMum, where did you see that report?

Here: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10401941/Irish-teacher-killed-jogging-strangled-putting-brave-fight.html

Also reference to it in this report: www.rte.ie/news/2022/0114/1273607-tullamore-murder-investigation/

@CaveMum

They are reporting tonight that the post-mortem puts cause of death as strangulation. Strangulation is a very intimate crime (the perpetrator has to literally get face to face with the victim), it’s not the usual go-to for a random attacker who would normally hit/stab/strike.

I still maintain the most likely case is that she was murdered by someone who knew her.

But it’s not likely to be an intimate partner crime by a public canal, surely?

I would be surprised if he was known to her but it is possible.