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AIBU?

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Original poster

Young woman murdered running, what sort of world is this?!?

373 replies

irishfarmer · 13/01/2022 14:15

A young woman was murdered yesterday in Tullamore, Ireland while out for a run at 4pm. It is not a dangerous area, she was on a popular route along the canal, in day light! These things just do not happen here. I am in total shock. It was a random, unprovoked attack. It's just so awful, 23 years old her whole life ahead of her. She was a teacher so had probably just finished work for the day and wanted to de-stress.

AIBU to think this poor girl should have been able to go for a run on a lovely winter afternoon safely? I know I am not BU just don't know where else to post. I am truly shocked and horrified.

OP posts:
EightWheelGirl · 13/01/2022 23:00

I’m part of the problem? How on earth are you pushing male violence onto me? I am not part of this problem.

You're actively derailing debate about the solution, hence compounding the problem. Dragging the vast majority of decent men into it causes people to rightly say 'not all men' and then the same old merry go round starts and the discussion is thrown out with the bathwater.

UltraVividLament · 13/01/2022 23:01

Oh bore off with your trite stat that you wheel out every time you want to make it abundantly clear how much you hate feminists. You know damn well that the stat of 93% refers to women claiming the label/identity of feminist. The large majority of women (and men) agree with the stated aims of feminism.

You are the one using this bloody awful event to repeat your hatred of feminists and to push your anti-women agenda.

IDidntKnowItWasAParty · 13/01/2022 23:01

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EightWheelGirl · 13/01/2022 23:01

Criminals are the problem, not men. The fact that the majority happen to be men still doesn't mean that non criminal men are responsible in any way.

Omicrone · 13/01/2022 23:01

And why should non violent men care when most of us don't seem to give a shit about them being killed at 3x the rate of us?

They are being murdered by other men. It's a men problem, the whole thing. Why are women always expected to sort out everything?

Kanaloa · 13/01/2022 23:02

Okay. I’m going to disengage because I honestly think it’s impossible to educate two people who come on a thread about a man killing a woman in broad daylight to complain about feminist rhetoric, say ‘not all men,’ and suggest that somehow this isn’t a male problem because women also commit (a tiny tiny tiny minority of) violent crimes.

Clearly your understanding of the issue is deeply flawed. I hope men are very happy they have you to protect them from having their feelings hurt by discussions of male violence.

Dottybackorcid · 13/01/2022 23:03

@UltraVividLament

Oh bore off with your trite stat that you wheel out every time you want to make it abundantly clear how much you hate feminists. You know damn well that the stat of 93% refers to women claiming the label/identity of feminist. The large majority of women (and men) agree with the stated aims of feminism.

You are the one using this bloody awful event to repeat your hatred of feminists and to push your anti-women agenda.

You obviously don't like people like EightWheelGirl and myself including other women to have a different opinion or voice how quaint.
Mufasa1118 · 13/01/2022 23:06

One thing I don't like about the Irish media is that when some one dies they say things about the victim like:

"She was from a well known family" and they always comment on what the parents worked at, if the victim plays GAA or not.

Basically they talk about whether the victim is respectable or not. It's so old fashioned and insulting .What the hell does that have to do with anything

A death is as important as any other

If the victim was from a professional, hard working, well known respectable family

Or if the victim was the daughter of a poor single mother who never worked.

It doesn't matter.

UltraVividLament · 13/01/2022 23:06

The issue is male violence. As always. The solution needs to involve men in general (and of course women), but too many men are disinterested in changing the status quo and addressing why so many men are happy to assault, abuse and attack women (and of course, other men). What is it about our culture and society that enables far too many men to develop into people who so easily resort to violence and attack? That's what needs identifying and addressing. Going on and on about how lots of men are nice is utterly unhelpful, as is blaming feminists for not being nice enough to men.

EightWheelGirl · 13/01/2022 23:08

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Omicrone · 13/01/2022 23:10

@EightWheelGirl

Criminals are the problem, not men. The fact that the majority happen to be men still doesn't mean that non criminal men are responsible in any way.
What about the 'non-criminal men' who thought that calling their colleague 'The Rapist' as a nickname, without ever apparently thinking that behaviour leading to that sort of nickname was a red flag, particularly for a police officer?

Or was it just 'workplace banter'?

What about the 'non-criminal men' whose sons are literally caught raping women behind some bins, and claim that their son's lives shouldn't be ruined for '20 minutes of action'.

What about the 'non-criminal men' who perpetuate the dehumanisation of women by sharing porn in their WhatsApp groups, or talk about women in a disgusting way when they are on a night out?

What about the 'non-criminal men' who don't call it out when their mate tells them a story about how they shagged some bird the previous night but the sex was shit because she was half asleep through most of it?

This stuff happens all the time. In totally 'normal' groups of men.

Nailsbythesea · 13/01/2022 23:10

@UserBot2022

I read this this morning. RIP Aishling, a young teacher robbed of her life running along "Fiona's Way" and this run was named after another young woman who was also robbed of her life by a man.

Right now I have zero sympathy for some men /no men / all men.

Not enough men stand up for us. Some men / all men tolerate sexism, objectification, misogyny, locker room talk, sitting on the fence when the men they know are free with their fists, not going straight to the police if somebody they spiked a stranger's drink.. men, poor men. They need to feel outraged on our behalves and not sensitive about being lumped in to "all men".

This.

As for being told to ‘be careful’ walking down a path in broad daylight should be safe how is that not being careful??

Wtf should a man be able to do it and survive and a woman do it and die? Same route yet he’s careful anf can defend himself and her behaviour is risky because she didn’t have a man with her

EightWheelGirl · 13/01/2022 23:12

@Kanaloa

Okay. I’m going to disengage because I honestly think it’s impossible to educate two people who come on a thread about a man killing a woman in broad daylight to complain about feminist rhetoric, say ‘not all men,’ and suggest that somehow this isn’t a male problem because women also commit (a tiny tiny tiny minority of) violent crimes.

Clearly your understanding of the issue is deeply flawed. I hope men are very happy they have you to protect them from having their feelings hurt by discussions of male violence.

Yup, didn't think you were actually interested in discussing possible solutions. I'm happy to ally with anybody who is genuinely interested in addressing the issue. I don't care about their sex/gender/ethnicity/class/age/etc.
Tealightsandd · 13/01/2022 23:12

@Mufasa1118

One thing I don't like about the Irish media is that when some one dies they say things about the victim like:

"She was from a well known family" and they always comment on what the parents worked at, if the victim plays GAA or not.

Basically they talk about whether the victim is respectable or not. It's so old fashioned and insulting .What the hell does that have to do with anything

A death is as important as any other

If the victim was from a professional, hard working, well known respectable family

Or if the victim was the daughter of a poor single mother who never worked.

It doesn't matter.

The same with the shock over this particular case. Terribly sad what's happened but rare, no.

Unfortunately it's nothing unusual - a woman being murdered.

Two to three women a week are murdered at home by a current or ex partner in the UK. I should imagine it's a similar figure in the ROI.

EightWheelGirl · 13/01/2022 23:13

Wtf should a man be able to do it and survive and a woman do it and die? Same route yet he’s careful anf can defend himself and her behaviour is risky because she didn’t have a man with her

Yet 3x more men are murdered. 🤷‍♀️

Omicrone · 13/01/2022 23:14

People like you don't care about the solution.

Come on then, what is the solution? What is it that us women should be doing to stop men murdering us and each other? And what is it that we can do about it that men apparently are unable to?

Kanaloa · 13/01/2022 23:14

@EightWheelGirl

I’m sorry but I don’t think we can really discuss solutions when we have such hugely different viewpoints on this. I think we’ve had this conversation before but I find you to be a misogynist and I think it’s quite sad as a woman yourself.

You actually haven’t posted any solutions though to the problem of male violence. If you have one please do let me know because it would be ground breaking since it’s a problem as old as time.

Yebbie · 13/01/2022 23:15

@EightWheelGirl The fact you are actually trying to use the fact that a man came to my rescue as proof that men aren't the problem is terrifying, you are saying a good man interfering more than makes up for the fact that two men nearly four times my age tried to rape me as a child.

Yes, a man came to my defence. Yes, I am grateful. Yes, I am aware that not all men are bad.

None of that changes the fact that two men were able to get me in to that situation simply by being physically able to over power me. None of that changes the fact that men can largely overpower women. None of that changes the fact that a terrifying majority of violent crimes, be it against men or women, are carried out by men. I hope you're just a troll and aren't actually this anti women.

Standing up for women doesn't mean we aren't against equality. We need to stand up for women to ever even dream of reaching equality. All of us matter, men and women alike, but women are the ones that need defending right now. Women are the ones who aren't equal and are all feeling hopeless about ever becoming it. I have sons, brothers a husband, I'm not some man hater, I'm voicing my support for the ones who need it. Even the men in my life can understand that. I'm not humouring you anymore, I hope if you have daughters you never have to realise this the hard way like so many of us have.

Yebbie · 13/01/2022 23:16

Doesn't mean we are against equality

Yebbie · 13/01/2022 23:18

@EightWheelGirl

Wtf should a man be able to do it and survive and a woman do it and die? Same route yet he’s careful anf can defend himself and her behaviour is risky because she didn’t have a man with her

Yet 3x more men are murdered. 🤷‍♀️

BY MEN. MORE MEN ARE MURDERED BY FUCKING MEN.

I hope you're a troll. I truly truly hope you are.

immersivereader · 13/01/2022 23:18

I think we're now allowed to blanket blame.

If this happens in central London, then in Ireland in the subrusb, where are we safe?

EightWheelGirl · 13/01/2022 23:19

The fact you are actually trying to use the fact that a man came to my rescue as proof that men aren't the problem is terrifying, you are saying a good man interfering more than makes up for the fact that two men nearly four times my age tried to rape me as a child.

Please direct me to where I said that.

immersivereader · 13/01/2022 23:19

Oh god don't entertain 8 wheel

EightWheelGirl · 13/01/2022 23:20

People would never dare make the blanket accusations against other demographics that they do against men.

Kanaloa · 13/01/2022 23:21

@Yebbie

She’s not a troll as such. She pops up on threads like this a lot, saying stuff like men are better to work for than women, women are bitchier than men, stuff like that. I remember because I always find it so sad. Like if women hate women like that where are you supposed to go?