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AIBU?

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Original poster

Young woman murdered running, what sort of world is this?!?

373 replies

irishfarmer · 13/01/2022 14:15

A young woman was murdered yesterday in Tullamore, Ireland while out for a run at 4pm. It is not a dangerous area, she was on a popular route along the canal, in day light! These things just do not happen here. I am in total shock. It was a random, unprovoked attack. It's just so awful, 23 years old her whole life ahead of her. She was a teacher so had probably just finished work for the day and wanted to de-stress.

AIBU to think this poor girl should have been able to go for a run on a lovely winter afternoon safely? I know I am not BU just don't know where else to post. I am truly shocked and horrified.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/01/2022 20:20

@Mufasa1118

Bernadette

Jesus christ. We are not tasked.

We are on a thread talking about women's safety and sharing ideas about it.

You specifically asked us for suggestions of how to fix it.

Why?

We already do everything
We alter our routes
We make phone calls
We out our keys between our fingers
We wear shoes We can run in
We restrict our own movements.

Why should we have to provide more things we can do to stop men murdering us?

grapewine · 13/01/2022 20:28

Why should we have to provide more things we can do to stop men murdering us?

So much this. Fuck it.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/01/2022 20:38

@Mufasa1118

Earrings and lipstick

"I'm not letting that bullshit go unchecked".

LoL what a hero. I think it's me who's checking your bullshit actually

😂😂😂

You're funny (except you're not). And it's been explained to you clearly why your ideas are both wrong & diminishing of women's rights.

MaybeHeIsMyCat · 13/01/2022 21:06

It's so awful
Don't go out in the dark, don't go to isolated places, find a police officer if you need to - now you can't go for a run in daylight or trust a male police officer
Where does it stop? I don't know the area but I wouldn't think twice about running/walking in broad daylight Sad

MaybeHeIsMyCat · 13/01/2022 21:08

@grapewine

Why should we have to provide more things we can do to stop men murdering us?

So much this. Fuck it.

Exactly that Segregate the bloody men, they're the issue. If they can't be trusted not to rape and murder women then they should have a curfew
VaddaABeetch · 13/01/2022 21:08

The suspect was out in bail awaiting trial for a violent attack on another woman (among other things).

lightisnotwhite · 13/01/2022 21:11

@OneTimeThrowAway

I wonder if you meant to write 'some men' though, and not just 'men'.

🙄

No it’s men. Not all men but men. If men were hurting others in the same numbers as women violent crime would drop by more than 90%. Imagine that.
grapewine · 13/01/2022 21:17

@VaddaABeetch

The suspect was out in bail awaiting trial for a violent attack on another woman (among other things).
Why am I not surprised at all...

It's so fucking depressing.

ilovegreen · 13/01/2022 21:17

There’s a footballer out on bail who’s been charged with 7 sexual offences. Why?

sadnessoverwhelming · 13/01/2022 21:32

Ashling was a talented musician, she played camogie with her local GAA club.
She taught music to kids while she was in college. She came from well known musical family.
One of her pupils said today that her favourite thing about Ms Murphy was that if you got something wrong she didn't get cross, she just showed you again how to do it.
Ashling had a sister and a brother, Amy and Cathal.
She had a boyfriend she'd be with for 6 years.
She planned to build a house.
She had a mam and dad who adored her.

Ashling was worth so very much more than all of this bickering. Please stop arguing and focus on Ashling. The rest of it is just noise. Her life was taken from her yesterday. She was beaten to death. The horror of that is overwhelming.
This thread should be about Ashling. Nothing else.

VestaTilley · 13/01/2022 21:40

It’s abominable. Poor Ashling, may she rest in peace. Her poor family.

Men are such bastards.

icelolly12 · 13/01/2022 21:55

Personally I agree with more female only spaces, particularly on public transport and I would use them. It wouldn't stop men attacking and raping women though - we can't solely use women only spaces 100% of the time.

EarringsandLipstick · 13/01/2022 22:05

Ashling was worth so very much more than all of this bickering. Please stop arguing and focus on Ashling

I'm really not sure what you mean by this.

The country is mourning Ashling. Her community are in deep shock and grief.

All day long programmes across Irish media have remembered Ashling. And also examined the wider situation of male violence against women that led to her death. Different perspectives were offered.

None of this diminished Ashling but strove to highlight the great wrongs that exist.

On this thread, posters have also grieved the loss of a young talented beautiful women, and asked the same questions. There are different views. There will be arguments. I think your choice of the word ' bickering' diminishes how important the subject is for many.

SwimmingOnEggshells · 13/01/2022 22:23

He was out on bail? I am disgusted.

The justice system has failed women.

Our light-touch judicial system has failed Ashling.

RIP.

Kanaloa · 13/01/2022 22:25

If they can't be trusted not to rape and murder women then they should have a curfew

This is what I meant by like ‘what’s the point’ in terms of how you try to mitigate risk. Like how would a curfew have helped, this happened in the daytime? And as murder is already extremely illegal surely if you’re planning on killing a woman flouting curfew isn’t going to really put you off.

EightWheelGirl · 13/01/2022 22:30

This is horrific but I don't understand all the comments about how lucky men are being able to run anywhere. They're far more likely to be attacked and killed. Violent men are the problem but they're not only a problem for women.

EightWheelGirl · 13/01/2022 22:33

IMO we're better to work together as a society to try and address this. Making it men vs women won't help as the people best placed to tackle it are non violent men - the majority of law enforcement, politicians, etc.

Yebbie · 13/01/2022 22:34

I was once chased, and very nearly sexually assaulted. I was walking home and noticed two men behind me with their hoods up, and I still remember this prickly fear. I crossed the road, they crossed the road. I crossed back, they crossed back. I started to run and they did too, a lot faster than me. They had dragged me into a side street and had my skirt around my waist when a couple came to my rescue, I had closed my eyes in terror and remember opening them being led away by this woman, I looked back around and saw her partner swinging at them and one of the men pulling a knife.

Was I doing something I shouldn't? No, I was walking home at 6pm in a town centre.

Was I dressed too provocatively? No, I was in my school uniform. I was 12.

Was I simply a young female and an easy target? Yes.

It doesn't matter what we wear, where we go, and what we bring with us. We can't change who we are, and by and large we are easy targets to men. Of course there are exceptions, but the average man can overpower the average women. There is nothing women can do that will change the fact that we are far too often abused, raped and murdered by men. The only people that can change this is men - and the fact that instead of acknowledging this they just get #notallmen trending online is proof that they aren't going to do that.

Dottybackorcid · 13/01/2022 22:35

May be some of the lock all the men up on here should actually look at official statistics.
In 2019/20, just under three quarters (73%) of the total 695 victims of offences currently recorded as homicide were male and over a quarter were female (27%).

So no many sons and DH's are actually more likely to be killed in a public place than females, looking at the official figures males are way more likely to be killed in public by a stranger.
Where are a majority of females are people they know.

But don't let that get on the way of it's all men hatered 🙄

Yebbie · 13/01/2022 22:35

This was two men that I later found out were 48 and 52. I was 12, and I looked every bit of it.

Yebbie · 13/01/2022 22:37

@Dottybackorcid

May be some of the lock all the men up on here should actually look at official statistics. In 2019/20, just under three quarters (73%) of the total 695 victims of offences currently recorded as homicide were male and over a quarter were female (27%).

So no many sons and DH's are actually more likely to be killed in a public place than females, looking at the official figures males are way more likely to be killed in public by a stranger.
Where are a majority of females are people they know.

But don't let that get on the way of it's all men hatered 🙄

No one is denying that a lot of men are murdered, but I think you'll find they are murdered by other men.

So yes, the issue is still by and large men. Your argument is invalid.

EightWheelGirl · 13/01/2022 22:39

@Yebbie

I was once chased, and very nearly sexually assaulted. I was walking home and noticed two men behind me with their hoods up, and I still remember this prickly fear. I crossed the road, they crossed the road. I crossed back, they crossed back. I started to run and they did too, a lot faster than me. They had dragged me into a side street and had my skirt around my waist when a couple came to my rescue, I had closed my eyes in terror and remember opening them being led away by this woman, I looked back around and saw her partner swinging at them and one of the men pulling a knife.

Was I doing something I shouldn't? No, I was walking home at 6pm in a town centre.

Was I dressed too provocatively? No, I was in my school uniform. I was 12.

Was I simply a young female and an easy target? Yes.

It doesn't matter what we wear, where we go, and what we bring with us. We can't change who we are, and by and large we are easy targets to men. Of course there are exceptions, but the average man can overpower the average women. There is nothing women can do that will change the fact that we are far too often abused, raped and murdered by men. The only people that can change this is men - and the fact that instead of acknowledging this they just get #notallmen trending online is proof that they aren't going to do that.

Seems odd to criticise men for not doing anything in the same post that you describe a male stranger fighting two knife wielding thugs in your defence.
Anotherviewtoyou · 13/01/2022 22:40

@Dottybackorcid

May be some of the lock all the men up on here should actually look at official statistics. In 2019/20, just under three quarters (73%) of the total 695 victims of offences currently recorded as homicide were male and over a quarter were female (27%).

So no many sons and DH's are actually more likely to be killed in a public place than females, looking at the official figures males are way more likely to be killed in public by a stranger.
Where are a majority of females are people they know.

But don't let that get on the way of it's all men hatered 🙄

Just wondering who committed all these murders @Dottybackorcid it wouldn’t by any chance have been ….. men 🙄
Dottybackorcid · 13/01/2022 22:40

@Yebbie How can my argument be invalid with statistics that back it up. Your just one of those hysterical haters Grin

Cocomarine · 13/01/2022 22:40

@Dottybackorcid

May be some of the lock all the men up on here should actually look at official statistics. In 2019/20, just under three quarters (73%) of the total 695 victims of offences currently recorded as homicide were male and over a quarter were female (27%).

So no many sons and DH's are actually more likely to be killed in a public place than females, looking at the official figures males are way more likely to be killed in public by a stranger.
Where are a majority of females are people they know.

But don't let that get on the way of it's all men hatered 🙄

See that 73% of murders with male victims? Can you use your source to let us know how many of the murderers were also male, please?