Is MN middle class? Feeling inadequate and that my life is boring.

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Is MN mainly full of middle to upper class posters?

Having read through some of the threads, especially tonight's holiday thread where everyone appears to be having multiple holidays this year, I'm feeling very low and inadequate, and that there's something wrong in my life

Oh well, comparison is the thief of joy and all that.

Even if MN is full of middle class posters who can afford multiple holidays a year etc, that doesn’t mean they should pretend they’re on their uppers or not talk about their lives for fear of someone not liking to read it. I know I’m relatively privileged (good salary, decent savings, able to afford holidays, expensive hobby although I’m nowhere near as well off as others) but that is actually my life and while I’m not boasting, I’m not going to apologise for it either. It seems the done thing to assume everyone who talks about a lifestyle others can’t afford is lying, but surely it’s fairly obvious that that some people are wealthy, or at least relatively so.

Comparison is the thief of joy, as you say OP.

@MsTSwift

Why would you lie if it’s anonymous?! I got accused of lying about my job once which I found quite funny!

Me too. By a guy who owned his own business dontcha know, and told me I couldn't compare to his responsibilities and told me I likely carried out 'some admin'. There was no point arguing with him and saying what I actually was doing at the time, he clearly needed to feel superior and trying to demean me by his words made him feel better.

@Waxonwaxoff0

I did specify that it was based on what your parents had, meaning how you were raised. I just think it’s hugely unjust to act like the class system is based on how middle class you feel, when people are often disadvantaged or criticised based on class - you can’t just ‘identify out’ of it. No matter how middle class you feel if you’re living in poverty in a terrible area you’ll be disadvantaged by that.

@trickytimes

I’m lower class but very wealthy (now) and I don’t have a single holiday planned. I can’t understand how people can travel right now. I prefer day trips out to be honest. Holidays and packing etc are just too exhausting.

Nannies or cleaners can pack. Some nannies have 'light housework' in their job responsibilities (reflected in the pay).

How can holidays on a healthy budget be exhausting?! You're doing it wrong

@LunaTheCat

Middle Class is a state of mind. I am from a solidly working class Northern background Worked my ring off ( lucky to be blessed with an encouraging Dad - my Mum was as mad as a meat-axe but that’s a whole other story) I work as a GP - but probably earn comparatively little as work only “part time “ - although my part time is actually 35 to 40 hrs per week - and not a practice owner. On paper I am definately MC but my income and spending are definately not! I am happy though - and consider myself more than privileged.

Sorry but your whole post is peak MC MNer

Complete with the obligatory reference to being privileged

@mewkins I live in an identical town, and have never known so much camping. Personally I would rather not have another holiday in my life, if the alternative was camping, but where I live, which is solidly middle class, everyone seems to go on one or two camping trips a year as well as other holidays.

I’m not middle class, although I have an expensive house. My parents (wealthy, but self made) live in a huge house with multiple acres in Surrey, but also deny they’re middle class.

I’m one of those on the holiday thread with several holidays. We both grew up in poverty and have worked really, really hard to get our lifestyle. Not that other people don’t, of course they do, but it’s insulting to say people going on holiday and having a good income are lying. If you don’t want to read about these things, choose another thread. MN should be for everyone

@Waxonwaxoff0 I completely agree with you.

@Oblomov22 I don't think most people would assume one weekend break means people are lying.

I think 7 abroad holidays in one year during a pandemic is slightly unbelievable. Everyone I know has a holiday that's been rescheduled & have either attempted to get away & couldn't - 4 colleagues missed out on Dec holidays due to a family member testing positive just before. It's a faff at the moment to travel abroad.

I always get the impression that it's a bit of an older crowd as well. In my 20's I wasn't going abroad several times a year just the odd package holiday every few, in my 30's maybe once a year but now I'm well into my 40's, there are lots of cheap flights and cheap air bnb's with a kitchen and it can be done very reasonably and easily.

I just read that the average income in the UK is £31,461 and if you earn between 75% and 200% of that you are considered middle class according to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.

We live in SW London & DH works for a MC law firm so I think my experience would be comparable.

Maybe it's an age thing though, if your dc are older & you are retired then maybe missing holidays/self isolation isn't such an issue.

Well, despite being middle-class, I haven't been on a 'holiday' for about 20 years

Single parent, two teens, younger son very hard work. I've been for a few days here or there to visit friends in Spain/UK/Denmark. So I suppose those mini breaks count as they were fun but I've never been away longer than I felt my parents could cope with two DC. And now? the teens would fight, trash the house, leave the oven and the heating on 24/7

And I've nobody to go with! So.

No idea what class I am to be honest but we’re fairly low income - dh earns under £25k and we manage on that and disability benefits for myself and Ds. I stay away from the holiday threads etc as it’s just beyond our reach! Plenty of other threads to get involved in.

MN isn't full of middle class people. It is, however, full of people obsessed with class. There's daily threads on it. "Are my clothes middle class?" "Does shopping in Waitrose make me middle class?" No-one in my world discusses class in the same way.

Ps, I think you can end up with a different impression of MN depending on what threads you're drawn to. I don't seem to have the impression that everybody is loaded. Although there was a 27 year old who had a baby 3 months ago and she posted a pic of herself in a lovely dress asking if it looked good. And I did notice her mirror was absolutely beautiful and probably cost a small fortune, but nobody commented on that!

Most of the time when people post photos you can see the clutter in their room and the 10 year old slippers on the floor.

@progress2019 I wonder if we live in the same town. Camping is extremely popular and many families go abroad a few times a year too. No one actually discusses money or class though. You can tell from the Facebook check ins at airport first class lounges and fancy hotels just how much money people are spending.

We always camp for two weeks in the summer and love it but also go abroad a couple of times a year in normal times. Last year we camped for two weeks in Wales and then when we got home we flew to Corfu on a last minute deal for a week in a villa.

Our normal pre pandemic year would be a long haul trip at Easter , a short haul trip in either May or October and our two weeks camping with friends. We usually do a weekend European Christmas markets city break in December too.

@PickAChew

You need to read the thread about broken things that we put up with. So many of us live in rather crumbly houses, it turns out.

Please link to that thread I need it!

That Paris-hotel-room lie was quite a few years ago now, and has been repeated ad nauseum. I'm not saying we don't have a fair shower of liars, exaggerators and full-on trolls, but most people probably aren't doing more than stretching the truth, because that's true everywhere.

There are threads for everyone. For those on benefits and for those with seven-figure sums to invest. MN skews disproportionately MC and always has, yes. Is that the worst thing in the world? Mostly it has a reputation for skewing intelligent and educated, which transcends class. "Educated" does lead in itself to a MC skew, because one thing that defines MC as it exists in this country at the moment is valuing education highly. But there are plenty of other places with skews of their own if you don't care for this one. It's virtually impossible to have any community that doesn't have a skew, because there is quite genuinely no topic on earth that is of equal interest to all people. Parenting forums skew female. Weightlifting forums skew male. Education forums skew to upper income bands. COVID forums skew in complicated interesting ways to do with education and political identity. Take your pick.

@Spidey66

MN isn't full of middle class people. It is, however, full of people obsessed with class. There's daily threads on it. "Are my clothes middle class?" "Does shopping in Waitrose make me middle class?" No-one in my world discusses class in the same way.

Haha 🤣 this is absolutely true.

Everything that you do and don't do gives away your "class"...

Ha I can afford a holiday but I'm not fool enough to book one! A friend lost thousands when her last one had to be cancelled.

Booking a holiday right now is like playing Russian roulette

Yes, MN has a high proportion of MC posters. But, it's also very much the prevailing culture of the site to be MC, well off and well to do, so even those who aren't or who have lower incomes often either pretend they are, or are silent.
I'm WC with an average income and my life is far from boring. I couldn't afford very high end clothes, furnishings or holidays, but that doesn't mean I don't look good, have a nice home and enjoy my life doing the things within my budget. I have been well off in the past, and genuinely found no link between income and happiness/satisfaction, provided there was enough to meet my needs and I didn't have to worry.
As for MC, well I've no interest in that as a cultural thing, as it seems to me mainly about imposing a lot of rules about how you live and how you look, which are typically understated, discreet, sensible and worthy, which to me would be very boring.

Wow that's a lot of holiday leave! I guess lots of jobs have minimum leave and parents need to both use theirs to cover childcare etc so dont have the leave even aside from the money!

I like to think I have a decent income, more than others I live near, but nothing like a majority of MN claim 🤣. I have not been on holiday in 17 years. Others I know who earn far less borrow, lend and spend every penny they get their hands on for holidays.
Different prioritys I guess and you were brought up. For me I want to own a lovely little detached home where I enjoy living and coming home too in the end 🙂. Not about where I have been but where I eventually call home.

I think MN is pretty MC, I think the worst way this manifests is more to do with the extreme expectations of what you will do for and give to your children, which is all based on being pretty wealthy, and the echo chamber of sheer horror at the suggestion some of those things might not be indisputable essentials for being a good parent, that ensues.

For examples, conversations about sharing bedrooms, or not wanting children to stay rent free indefinitely, or not being able to live separately from partners just because it's what the kids would prefer, and the list goes on...

School fees gobbled up most of our money that would otherwise be spent on holidays.
Interestingly, when I had one DC in prep and one in state, it was the state school families I knew who seemed to be jetting off regularly on amazing holidays. I presume either because flashy holidays were either a status symbol (you'd have to understand the area I live in) or lack of fees to pay towards schooling meant (in a wealthy area) a bigger holiday budget. Like many others, we had to grow to love camping and the occasional trip abroad until we were more flush.