Is MN middle class? Feeling inadequate and that my life is boring.

[sleaf]

Is MN mainly full of middle to upper class posters?

Having read through some of the threads, especially tonight's holiday thread where everyone appears to be having multiple holidays this year, I'm feeling very low and inadequate, and that there's something wrong in my life

Oh well, comparison is the thief of joy and all that.

@MsTSwift

Why would you lie if it’s anonymous?! I got accused of lying about my job once which I found quite funny!

Same. I don't answer job questions etc anymore. Literally never heard of a grown woman making lies about her salary on an anonymous forum 😂

I have come to a conclusion that it makes some people feel better, when they convince themselves that I'm lying about my salary.
Whatever floats their boat

@Sunshinedreaming2022

Yes I think it is very middle class. And those that aren’t probably has aspirations to be. Ffs it even has a board purely for pedantics who like to criticise everyone’s grammar.

"Pedants" not "Pedantics". Sorry

@LadyPropane

Everyone on MN falls into 2 categories:

So poor that they haven't eaten in 3 weeks and are selling their toenail clippings on Etsy to save up for a pack of bog roll, or so rich that they have their Butler check MN for them and post fancy musings on their behalf.

To be fair, this does appear to be the way British society / the economy appears to be heading....

It is but number of holidays isn't a class indicator. I'm working class and have lots of holidays.

I don't aspire to be middle class at all. I'm happy as I am. Comparison is the thief of joy.

@MasterBeth

Mumsnet is open to anyone. Some of those people will lie. Some of those people will exaggerate. But some of those people will be much richer than you or me, or much poorer than you or me.

The fact that you don't know people who have lavish holidays or huge mortgages or massive salaies doesn't mean they don't exist. Of course they exist. Rich people exist!

This MN attracts people from all walks of life. Even celebrities read MN. So you are going to get all types of people posting. You will get a few fantasist who lie about every aspect of their lives. However, there are people who are absolutely loaded who do live in million pound + homes and have luxury holidays. You will also get those who are poor and living in cramped accommodation. I don’t compare myself to anyone and just find happiness in non material things

I think I’m the only one on mumsnet that doesn’t own my own home. We earn well but don’t have a deposit so rent. The horror

I would try not and let it it get to you.

I know loads of people who holiday several times a year. Only a few are (to me) staggeringly rich. Most forgo other things to travel. One of my friends isn't having kids so she can continue to travel.

If yih spend your life feeling inadequate because some people are doing something you aren't, then you will be very unhappy.

I don't think they are lying. I think it's wierd you think they are. Yes some people on mn lie. Must don't. The thread was completely normal: most going to Spain, Malaga, Majorca, one on a honeymoon, some to Dorset and Devon. All normal. Why do you think it's lies.

If you look on the travel and corrona threads you will have seen literally 100's of people trying to get the best covid snd PCR travel tests for Spain, Portugal, Malta. I was one of them last year when I went to Portugal, Lisbon got a long weekend with 2 friends. Do you think all these people are lying too? Why would they?

Why do you think people are lying about places they claim they have been?

I went to Lisbon last autumn with 2 friends who I go on holiday with, a long weekend, for the last 10+ years. Why lie?

Who cares!

Comparison is indeed the thief of joy, so don’t do it.

I think it is skewed that way, I live in one of the poorest parts of the UK so it doesn’t reflect what I see in real life.

Yes it is.
Source-Amy thread about horses.

Oops should be "Any" not Amy

I spent all my younger years feeling inadequate: my looks ,lack of money, children who didn't go to a top Uni or going to be a doctor or a lawyer , I haven't had much of a career myself , I could go on. It sapped me of believing in myself.
I don't care now, people can go on ten holidays this year , I don't envy them anymore!
It comes with age , you learn that constantly feeling second to everyone else just saps your life away. Just concentrate on you and being there best person you can be and also realize that even the rich have hang ups and problems too!

Mn is very middle class in a lot of the cultural stuff and skews quite rich i think, I'm sure that's true. I do see more threads that look like lies these days or maybe I'm just more cynical. Also I'm intrigued to find that anyone is able to book a cottage by the sea for £200 - where?? £2000 sounds more like it, I haven't been able to afford a seaside cottage for years and I'm quite well off!

I don't find holidays aspirational and posted the truth on the holiday thread but yes the pension threads depress me a lot. I try to avoid them tbh. I'll probably have £800 a month including the state pension and I'm hardly going to be going to Monte Carlo on that.

Nope no exciting holidays here. Five days in Whitby last year was the pinnacle of three years of holidays. Moderate earners. I think some people who contribute are wealthy but I think the majority seem quite average. I would say, on the whole MN contributors seem quite articulate for a group of people on the internet.

Is it just real life? Is it just fantasy?
Or just some posters escape from reality?

Of course people lie and exaggerate on an anonymous forum and some people do it to make others feel worse or themselves feel better.

Many tell the truth but how would you know?

But yes I think it is generally MC though not UC.

I just think you notice what you don't have. Like I don't read the threads where the husbands are cheating thinking oh everyone's husband is cheating except mine; but if I read a thread where people are having three holidays a year then I do start to feel like I'm falling behind a bit. Even though neither is fully representative of most people on MN .

Middle Class is a state of mind.
I am from a solidly working class Northern background
Worked my ring off ( lucky to be blessed with an encouraging Dad - my Mum was as mad as a meat-axe but that’s a whole other story)
I work as a GP - but probably earn comparatively little as work only “part time “ - although my part time is actually 35 to 40 hrs per week - and not a practice owner.
On paper I am definately MC but my income and spending are definately not!
I am happy though - and consider myself more than privileged.

I’m lower class but very wealthy (now) and I don’t have a single holiday planned. I can’t understand how people can travel right now. I prefer day trips out to be honest. Holidays and packing etc are just too exhausting.

I suppose a thread like that will obviously attract people who can go on holiday. We aren’t this year (can’t afford it) but obviously you won’t see my post on a thread of ‘what holiday are you taking this year’ because I’m not taking one!

It’s like if someone posted ‘tell me about your luxury car’ I’m probably not going to pop up to share the details of my little run around!

@Sunshinedreaming2022

“ Pedants corner is a pedantic safe space! It's to keep keen grammar types away from the board at large because nobody likes having their writing criticised in public. Consider us banished and ignore us.”

And I appreciate that I do, but you wouldn’t find a pedants corner on a more working class forum like netmums for example. Mumsnet is very targeted towards the middle, and upper middle classes. Not always financially mind, being middle class is more then an income bracket, it’s more of a mindset. You can have a middle class mindset whilst living on benefits or holidaying may haven.

I disagree.

You really can’t have a ‘middle class mindset’ because it isn’t based on how middle class you feel. That’s where all these silly threads about ‘I’m middle class because I eat Godiva chocolate and not cheap cadburys’ come from.

It’s money based, how much money to he parents had, how much you ended up with. Pretending you can just choose to identify as middle class does a disservice to the unfairness of the whole class system.

For what it’s worth I’m very working class and still have a good grasp of/appreciation of grammar. It’s not a reserve of the middle classes.

*your parents had

There was a poster who on a “show us a photo of your bedroom” thread tried to pass off a photo they’d pinched from the website of a luxury hotel in Paris as their own home

There was thread showing a photo of what the OP said was herself in a bikini asking if it was too skimpy. It wasn't her and was from a MN thread years earlier. I mean why do that?

I don't think class is money based. It's more to do with your background and upbringing. If I won the lottery it wouldn't suddenly change what class I am. I went to school with a woman who now does OnlyFans, she's made a lot of money from it but she's hardly middle class.