Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not agree with parents who still don't take Covid seriously enough

328 replies

HipsterMum · 11/01/2022 21:27

Alright here it goes another Covid related post. My husband and I lost 3 relatives due to Covid so we take it quite seriously. We have 2 kids and at the very start of pandemic we made a decision to have them stay at home with us and not in nurseries for a good year but obviously since our oldest has started school that was no longer possible. We both however still work from home.
We do socialize with people but take all the precautions we can (vaccinated/ meet outdoors with others/ masks at all times even outside / ldfs). I do however struggle to understand how even after all this time people do not follow those simple instructions (both vaccinated and unvaccinated).

So a recent incident that changed my relationship with another mum from my sons class (we were really friendly before). Lets call her Mandy. She is not Mandy 🙂Nothing against Mandys though. Anyway... So I was told that she had tested positive for covid 8 days ago over holiday period by her ex partner who dropped off her son. He told me that they've not had much contact with her since then so were not certain if she was feeling better and was gonna do a pick up (they take it in turns). I was invited with my youngest and my son for a cup of tea at hers after school by this other mum whose son my kid is also friends with. As I mentioned earlier we really try to take any precautions we can and I only said yes assuming it was just going to be for an hour or so and just us. I also only just gotten my booster jab a day earlier so really it wouldn't have had any effect yet in terms of giving me protection. So long story short at the pick up I see Mandy from the distance not wearing a mask and just chatting away with everyone. She mentions that its been 8 days now since first symptoms and that she didn't have it too bad just like a simple cold. Anyways.. we get going and happened to all be going together in the same direction. Kids being annoying little kids start saying that they were going to each others houses ... Mandys boy has a fit saying ' I want to go to his house too right now can we, can we '. And really in a very childish way Mandy goes 'aw darling you see you weren't invited this time'. I mean needless to say her boy starts being hysterical instantly . (What parent says things like that????) My other mum friend then goes ' well you can of course come too if you want' and then asks me if I wouldn't mind of course. I hate being put in this position but I had to be honest. I said that I ' ve only just gotten my booster jab and considering that its not been full 10 days since she had tested positive I don't think it would be wise. I apologised and said not to take it personally. I felt horrible that very instance. Her kid started crying , she was giving me really awful looks, my kid kept on asking me if we were going or not, my other friend felt awkward.

Guys I am honestly not a paranoid person but we all have different situations. I would have never thought of going out for the first time ( well 8 days after) and straight to other peoples houses without a mask. I mean how can you be certain if you are not contagious still?? We are having old friends coming over from Italy for a few days and my friend is 6 months pregnant. They are isolating before and asked us to be careful too. I cannot put her at risk . And regardless we all have our situations and sometimes as a result of Covid we just can't meet up with the same amount of people that we want. Needless to say that Mandy got very offended with me. Said I made a big deal over nothing because she was probably no longer contagious. That I made her son really upset. Ignores me during pick ups and drop offs. I feel so guilty although I was just being honest.

OP posts:
phishy · 11/01/2022 21:33

I think you did the right thing.

DH currently has Covid and he is planning to self- isolate until he is fully better, not the requisite 7 days,

Hospedia · 11/01/2022 21:35

If she's out of isolation after eight days rather than ten it means she tested negative on both day 6 and day 7 of her isolation, in which case she's no longer considered contagious so is fine to be out of isolation and no more of a risk to you than the friend that you did go for a cup of tea with (in fact Mandy is probably less of a risk now that she's immune for a while).

Comedycook · 11/01/2022 21:36

I'm not at all worried about covid personally but she was being very unreasonable

Lacedwithgrace · 11/01/2022 21:36

You did nothing wrong. Don't let her make you feel guilty, she should feel guilty.

Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 11/01/2022 21:36

She's done what she's required to do hasn't she?
And actually I think telling child they weren't invited this time is pretty good. You can't just invite yourself places you weren't invited, it's a good lesson to teach him. I think you're being a bit judgey and sanctimonious (if that's the right word, think it's what I meant.)

Ionlydomassiveones · 11/01/2022 21:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

PinkPlantCase · 11/01/2022 21:40

@Hospedia

If she's out of isolation after eight days rather than ten it means she tested negative on both day 6 and day 7 of her isolation, in which case she's no longer considered contagious so is fine to be out of isolation and no more of a risk to you than the friend that you did go for a cup of tea with (in fact Mandy is probably less of a risk now that she's immune for a while).
You’re assuming she did the tests. From the OP it doesn’t sound like it.
HipsterMum · 11/01/2022 21:42

Just to clarify Mandy (🙃) hasn't had a PCR test since her first initial one to confirm her negative status. Most of the people I know with Covid had active symptoms for way longer that 7 days.

OP posts:
Hospedia · 11/01/2022 21:42

My other mum friend then goes ' well you can of course come too

So it was the other friend's house and she invited Mandy? In that case it was quite rude of you to say Mandy couldn't come as it wasnt your house so not your decision about who gets to go and who doesn't. If you didn't want to meet with Mandy you should have bowed out and left them to it as the owner of the house invited her.

Hospedia · 11/01/2022 21:43

Just to clarify Mandy (🙃) hasn't had a PCR test since her first initial one to confirm her negative status

You don't need to do a PCR to confirm negative status. You do an LFT on day 6 and another on day 7, so long as both are negative and you don't have a temperature then you're allowed to leave self-isolation.

Hospedia · 11/01/2022 21:44

You’re assuming she did the tests. From the OP it doesn’t sound like it

There is nothing in the OP to indicate she didn't do the tests.

BlueSky8 · 11/01/2022 21:44

I mean she's done as she should hasn't she?

Your at risk everyday your child comes home from school, shopping etc.

Who's house yours or other friends? If your friends then yes I think it was rude to Mandy.

You don't need PCR to get out of isolation.

3scape · 11/01/2022 21:46

I think the woman is a pushy one covid notwithstanding. I'd be cooling things off with her.

HipsterMum · 11/01/2022 21:49

To the above post. Yes it was another woman's house and she did say that because she didn't want the boy to cry. I fully acknowledged that straight away apologized for the situation and said that I just didn't want to take any risks because I've only just gotten my booster jab and because of the pregnant friend that was coming over to stay with me very soon. I offered to re arrange for a different day straight away if that would work best so nobody is upset. I know it might sound unreasonable to some but I also had my 1 year old with me and I wouldn't have brought him along knowing that there were more people coming.

OP posts:
PinkPlantCase · 11/01/2022 21:49

@Hospedia

You’re assuming she did the tests. From the OP it doesn’t sound like it

There is nothing in the OP to indicate she didn't do the tests.

It was this bit that suggested to me that she hadn’t done the LTFs

Said I made a big deal over nothing because she was probably no longer contagious

Surely she’s just have said they’ve had negative LFTs for a few days running

sirfredfredgeorge · 11/01/2022 21:49

Just to clarify Mandy (🙃) hasn't had a PCR test since her first initial one to confirm her negative status

Which is irrelevant, you need to acquaint yourself with the actual rules, and not your own theories of what they should be, especially as a PCR test after a week will do nothing to confirm someone's negative status.

thaegumathteth · 11/01/2022 21:51

I'm super anxious about covid but I think you were rude.

phishy · 11/01/2022 21:52

Said I made a big deal over nothing because she was probably no longer contagious

Surely she’s just have said they’ve had negative LFTs for a few days running

Exactly. I wouldn’t trust this woman to follow the rules.

HermioneWeasley · 11/01/2022 21:53

You are being ridiculous about this - to healthy people this variant is no worse than a mild cold. You and your kids are not at any risk.

Hospedia · 11/01/2022 21:55

It was this bit that suggested to me that she hadn’t done the LTFs

Said I made a big deal over nothing because she was probably no longer contagious

Surely she’s just have said they’ve had negative LFTs for a few days running

This is the way it is phrased by Test and Trace, they tell you that you are "unlikely" to be contagious if you test negative on day 6 and day 7 and don't have a temperature.

phishy · 11/01/2022 21:55

@sirfredfredgeorge

Just to clarify Mandy (🙃) hasn't had a PCR test since her first initial one to confirm her negative status

Which is irrelevant, you need to acquaint yourself with the actual rules, and not your own theories of what they should be, especially as a PCR test after a week will do nothing to confirm someone's negative status.

No, it’s not irrelevant Hmm

You’re supposed to take a LTF on the 6th day and 7th day following positive test to see if you are now negative.

rooarsome · 11/01/2022 21:56

Guys I am honestly not a paranoid person

Gently, I have to disagree.

LadyCleathStuart · 11/01/2022 21:57

We do socialize with people but take all the precautions we can (vaccinated/ meet outdoors with others/ masks at all times even outside / ldfs). I do however struggle to understand how even after all this time people do not follow those simple instructions (both vaccinated and unvaccinated).

Where are these instructions? It sounds like you go waaaay OTT to me.

Hospedia · 11/01/2022 21:58

You’re supposed to take a LTF on the 6th day and 7th day following positive test to see if you are now negative.

And there is no proof that Mandy did not do so.

JeSuis · 11/01/2022 21:59

You don't have to agree with anyone! So you're not being U to have your own views on covid. I think everyone does to a point. However, I do think you were a little rude. You can't uninvite someone from someone else's house.