Weird message sent from boyfriend's phone

[Mikeythecat]

I don't know what the heck is going on here.

I don't live with my BF.

This morning I got a message saying: "Good morning, good luck, have fun, night night".

So I sent: "?" in reply.

These are all things he would probably text me throughout the day. I thought at first that he was being grumpy with me. I've not had a lot of time recently and this tends to be the pattern of his messages. We say morning, I say how busy I am, he says good luck, we have a chat in the evening, he says have fun (if watching a TV series or going somewhere with DD) and then we say night. I tend to only see him at the weekends. So, I thought he was being a bit sarcastic (as in sending the day's messages all in one go and maybe being a bit grumpy - as in - "this is all we ever say to each other" iyswim.

An hour later, I get this message: "POF Username39". The username was his email name. The 39 is the area we live (not in UK).

My next message was: "What are you trying to say? Are you on POF?"

I've had no response.

What the hell is going on? I know you don't have the answers, but I could do with a bit of support. I think he's about to tell me he's cheating or dumping me, or maybe the woman he's with got hold of his phone and it was her way of telling me. I tried to ring him, but he didn't answer.

I have a load of work to do tonight. I missed a deadline today because of this. I've been so upset.

@Bloomers58 My kids will run off and travel the world and the cats will eat me. I already know my fate! ;-)

You own a six bed house and sound like you have a great career. You definitely don't need a whiny loser who sounds like a 15 year old trying to guilt a girl over text messages. Get shut of him, date a decent, confident man who doesn't whinge like a baby and you'll wonder what you ever saw in him.

He's tried to make you 'jealous' with all the finesse of the thickest kid in high school. He does not deserve a moment more of your energy.

It's not like a six-bedroom house in the UK by the way. I really am in the middle of nowhere in Southern France. You could all have one! Just in case you think I was showing off. :-) Some bits of it are falling down and I just close the door and decide not to go in that room for a while.

Oh @Mikeythecat you're bloody brilliant. If we lived closer is invite you out for a wine or 3. Keep going. You've every right to be angry and hold off responding until the emotion has died down. Without emotion involved you'll be able to make sensible choices.

Bloody hell. When did you decide to move your family to the south of France? I want to know more. What an interesting lady!

@Migrainesbythedozen

I stand by my comments. Unless her parents are incapacitated, and it doesn't sound like they are, there is no reason for them to be there. Having read all her posts, it doesn't sound like they are incapacitated. It is an enormous imposition on not just a woman in her 40s who should be leading her own life, but teenage children. It's not fair to them. But, that's just my opinion and I recognise that.

Lots of people really enjoy being close to, and living with their family. She cares for her parents, is she supposed to tell them to sod off so she can get with some bloke who will end up being disappointing like so many men? Just give up your life as you know and like it for the prospect of a man. Urgh.

Ooooh! Fascinating! And I’m well jel.

It is not so much a return to the chateau but a fookoff from my chateau 🏰

I hope you don’t have pof in your moat 😉

@SmellyOldOwls Sometimes I'd like to tell my dad to sod off. He went on for 30 minutes today about the dish rack next to the sink and how someone keeps moving it. Any other day and I could have handled it... but Jesus! The car, Dad! The car! Forget about the dish rack!

@Migrainesbythedozen how rude to comment on someone's family dynamic like that. The OP clearly prioritises her parents over some flakey partner. Good on her.

Op you sound very strong and very interesting. Keep pressing on!

Wow the vipers are out in full strength today! There is often threads about children/adults needing to live their own separate lives, but if I make one point tactfully about how it might be easier to meet a partner if you aren't living with parents/have them living with you, it's a pile on fest.

@Migrainesbythedozen

Wow the vipers are out in full strength today! There is often threads about children/adults needing to live their own separate lives, but if I make one point tactfully about how it might be easier to meet a partner if you aren't living with parents/have them living with you, it's a pile on fest.

You’ve been the ‘viper’, making spiteful remarks about the OP, having clearly not read the thread properly. Your comments were incorrect so posters told you.

@KO81 There was nothing spiteful about my remarks, the spiteful comments are from those like yourself. I read the thread, and I still stand by my comments. There was no need for the spiteful nastiness from you and others considering I wasn't spiteful or nasty at all.

"Unfortunately you don't have much of a chance of meeting someone if you still live with your parents in your 40s. You really need to move out and get a home of your own, and it will be better for your kids too"

@Migrainesbythedozen this isn't tactful. It's just completely unnecessary and false. She is asking about messages from her boyfriends phone. This isn't a thread asking if we think she should kick her parents out. Your comments were unnecessary and uninvited"

@Migrainesbythedozen

Wow the vipers are out in full strength today! There is often threads about children/adults needing to live their own separate lives, but if I make one point tactfully about how it might be easier to meet a partner if you aren't living with parents/have them living with you, it's a pile on fest.

But in this instance you made comment on someone who has clearly said the dynamic suits them. No vipers here, just posters telling you you're comment was way off, because it was.

@Migrainesbythedozen

I stand by my comments. Unless her parents are incapacitated, and it doesn't sound like they are, there is no reason for them to be there. Having read all her posts, it doesn't sound like they are incapacitated. It is an enormous imposition on not just a woman in her 40s who should be leading her own life, but teenage children. It's not fair to them. But, that's just my opinion and I recognise that.

What the hell is wrong with people on here today?!

You know @Migrainesbythedozen if a number of people think your words and point are neither tactful nor helpful, it would be a normal reaction to reflect on those words and see their point. Not double down and DARVO. You got it wrong in tone. And you got it wrong in the detail too, you clearly didn't read her posts properly. Again, if you think everyone else in the room is a dick... you might be the dick! Or viper in this case.

Alright everyone! Let's not fall out at this stage! Let's agree that when Justin Timberlake/Matt Damon/that really funny Irish comedian called David Doherty (I think) finally show up around this neck of the woods, they might be a bit put off by my mum, dad, kids, animal gang, car thieves, poorly positioned dish rack, etc... but that they might look past it all and we can shag in the attic. :-) I'll let you all know if it happens. :-)

You sound ace OP

Best of luck op

Sorry - before I get my jotters - I’ve nc’d and haven’t changed back - apologies. I am not a puppet. 🥴

OP you are awesome. And whatever you decide to do, I hope that just as you are kind to your parents and children, that you are kind to yourself too. Take care.

You sound pretty cool all around. He really fucked up. Good luck.

I need to catch up but here's promised kitty for cheering up factor. I heart him.

Hope you're OK @mikeythecat

Hi @Mikeythecat… I’ve been following from the beginning and I think you are quite right to say that you don’t sign up to POF on a whim. That was clear intent. Also, please don’t be swayed by his depression and statements about feeling low, etc… that is utter shite. (Even if depression IS genuine.) He’s an adult and is responsible for his actions and the follow-on effect they have on other people - especially YOU. Saying that he only did what he did because he was feeling low is shifting blame back to you. ie, “If you had been paying me more attention, I wouldn’t have needed to go on POF in the first place because I am infantile and demand instant gratification.” Or “You should be a REAL woman and put me and my gratification first on your list of priorities - above your kids, your family, your rewarding work, your friends, etc… because I am a man, dammit! It’s all your fault that I went on POF because I was lonely and depressed. Then when I tried to show you how lonely and depressed I was, you forced me to admit it and I feel WORSE! Now I might have to go to the effort of faking some kind of breakdown or suicide if you pull away or leave me!!!”
*BTW, bet this is what happens. If it does, refer to police to do a welfare check or he will harass you with this shit until the cows come home.