AIBU to not want my son to do rugby because of the culture?

[sausagedogsforever]

I probably am being unreasonable but, my DS aged 5 really wants to do rugby. He once had a taster session, loved it and has asked to go since (for a good year). So shows no signs of getting over the urge.

I am thinking maybe I should take him again to another taster (maybe he won't like it) but also what if he loves it?

I used to like watching rugby and I find the games much more family friendly to watch than football matches. However, I've heard terrible things about rugby players and rugby playing culture? Like gross drinking games, sexism, just all round bad behaviour and treatment of women, initiation games to fit in etc.
is this really what it's like? Does anyone have any experience?
The other issue is injury, it's likely in a sport like that, so do I really want to encourage this?
Any advice welcome. Has anyone got a rugby playing son/husband?
Am I being unreasonable?

There’s absolutely no doubt RL is played extensively in many schools especially in the heartlands. Nobody is saying otherwise.

@PotatoPie888 you’ve hijacked this thread with your tedious projected class war and random pronouncements that posters are lying or denying their lives experiences. Or, in the case of @CuriousaboutSamphire, denying them their expertise.

I think you might have missed a logic link.

As there is also absolutely no doubt that many state schools also play rugby union.

There is an ever decreasing north south divide, rapidly lessening as the value of players having both sets of skills is being recognised and the penalties for playing across them have been removed.

Ok @KO81

My apologies OP.

I should have stuck to my first post and not got drawn into another debate.

Please let your 5 years old try rugby. The kiddy game is a bloody delight 😁

I live in the birthplace of Rugby and every high school in the town play Rugby.
It really isn't only played at public schools (although the public school here has got to play it really!)
It's a fantastic sport for developing a team mentality and discipline.
My son has played since he was 11 and he has gained so much from being involved in the sport.

Rugby is the game of the gods, and with the Six Nations just round the corner I don't think you are going to avoid rugby anytime soon.

Honestly the under 6's are just going to run around ripping tags off eachother and the club will put on a Easter egg hunt for the kids, a Halloween party and a Christmas disco.

I think you are way off "rugby club bad behaviour" 😂

Let the boy play the glorious team sport that it is. Sport is important for children, and if he enjoys it it's a win win.

I mean I'm obviously biased being Welsh, but whilst the roudy rugby lads on tour away from their mam's is a thing, I've never known any involved in criminal behaviour, just the odd ball sack dropped into Pritchard's pint when he isn't looking and a Sharpie pen penis drawn on someone's face.

Also I'll add our rugby club that my son plays for did a whole "anti violence against women" campaign, that it needed to be stamped out and men needed to stand up. Question poor behaviour and banter, respect women.

It was a month long campaign and involved every team from the seniors to the under 5's the coaching team were massively behind it, and they did a fundraiser night for women's aid.

@TheHairyDinosaur 'just the odd ball sack dropped into Pritchard's pint' that has me in stitches 🤣🤣 and you know what it is very true!
I lived in wales for a few years and absolutely loved it! Went to a few Munster games there! Great atmosphere!
I really do agree that the sport in itself is very family friendly, it was just the "rugby lads" type thing that was putting me off. And, hugely, the injuries!

I'm a lifelong rugby fan and my boys all play. Been to Twickenham, Millennium Stadium, Murrayfield etc numerous times, as well as club games. I love the fact that the fans from both sides all mix, lots of banter but have never seen inappropriate behaviour, or felt even a tiny bit uncomfortable or threatened. Contrast that with premiership/ international football games I've been to and there's no comparison.

But the drinking culture is a real worry- my 7year old's team and opposition all go to the clubhouse for hot chocolate after matches and it can get pretty rowdy....

Thanks everyone, I'll be taking him this weekend!

Will report back in 10/15 years when he's down the boozer with the lads, drinking from a shoe and shake my fist at you all 😆

Good god, you are angst ridden aren't you. Hopefully pp's have alleviated your concerns.

And considering that 93% of children in the UK are state educated and barely any make it into the England rugby team

Of the players named in the last England squad, over half were from state schools. Of the remainder, 3 moved to England as adults and of those who went to private school, 3 were offered a scholarship place, having moved from a state school.

But don’t let a good stereotype get in the way of actual facts.

@Oblomov22 I was joking on my last post. But yes, I am a huge over thinker, thus my post asking if I'm being unreasonable, which, evidently, I am!

@BoredZelda

And considering that 93% of children in the UK are state educated and barely any make it into the England rugby team

Of the players named in the last England squad, over half were from state schools. Of the remainder, 3 moved to England as adults and of those who went to private school, 3 were offered a scholarship place, having moved from a state school.

But don’t let a good stereotype get in the way of actual facts.

I agree with you, I think England Rugby has come on massively for inclusion in recent years. Historically yes England's Team was "posh boys" but these days not so much like you say. England rugby have put loads of money in to grass roots sports and making it more inclusive in recent years. And their current team is proof of that.

Not read the thread but I thought it is well known now there is a serious risk of brain damage from playing rugby?

When DS played rugby in the local rugby club juniors he was very much in the minority as someone who went to a fee-paying school. Not at all posh or public school round us.

Oh I love Rugby 🏉.

We are a rugby family and this time of year is Six Nations Season - My DF played at international level, I was pretty much brought up on the sidelines.

Our Nephew is 16, has been playing for 10 years and yes they do get a bit daft, but then so do groups from all walks of life. His club (and every other club we have a connection with) is like an enormous family - all players look out for each other, doesn't matter if they are tots, colts, seniors etc.

Let him have another go at it - it might be something he carries on with, it might not be, but Rugby Tots is great fun!

Stroll on he’s 5! You Don’t need even need to worry about him knocking back the Ribena yet.

Let him.play. It's a fab sport. Our whole family plays. Including me. Fastest growing sport in the uk? Women's rugby.

@sausagedogsforever

Thanks everyone, I'll be taking him this weekend!

Will report back in 10/15 years when he's down the boozer with the lads, drinking from a shoe and shake my fist at you all 😆

Fair. He will definitely drink from a shoe. 😂

Drinking, sexism, bad behaviour and treatment of women? Fucking hell, he’s 5 😂

@Mojoj

I don't think you need to worry about your five year old getting wasted just yet. I discouraged my son from playing rugby because he's really good looking and I didn't want to risk getting his face mangled. Yes, I am completely shallow🤣🤣. He's a big strapping six footer now who plays every sport under the sun and still slags me for not letting him playing rugby.

@Mojoj you just had to make sure he was a back! My DS is exceptionally handsome and plays fly half. Spends half the match flicking his hair out of his eyes a la Marcus Smith.

@massistar ha ha love it. They do love their wee selves, don't they?🤣🤣🤣🤣

I have to say that the worst man that I have ever met was a rugby player. He was so sexist and awful. And he would always text me about sex. All the time. Nothing else. And he didn't seem to see women as humans