Sorry, a bit long and I’m echoing what some others have already said, but this is our experience.
We’re a rugby (union) family, DH played and my ds’s showed interest and played club rugby from early primary age (starting with tag rugby). Ds2, now 21, is a passionate and talented player who has continued to play at a high level and also now plays tor his uni team, it’s a huge part of his (our) life.
The main plus points:
Camaraderie and friendships. Great set of incredibly strong supportive lifelong friendships, great ice breaker e.g., at uni (across all classes). Good networking for later in life.
It’s a great distraction from the monotony and stress of studying/working. Though they didn’t play much 2020/21 the training kept ds going through lockdown and remote studying away from home. He’s said that he feels it has really made the difference from sinking in to a real depression through Covid, but even out of Covid times, it’s supportive in that it gives a great sense of belonging.
Club rugby, especially younger years has a great sense of inclusiveness. Anyone of any ability can join and will get a chance to play (I would caveat that by saying that as you get older and players are bigger/stronger, you need to have the skills/technique to play safely).
Very family orientated through all ages of club rugby. Lots of additional social events and parental support of the club.
Respect and sportsmanship. They hold officials and rules in high regard and accept ‘authority’ even when they think it’s unfair.
Training: strength, fitness and ingrained discipline.
Our club has a womens team which is very well respected by the mens.
They absolutely bloody love it. There’s nothing like it.
My ds described the ‘culture’ as this: to instil in players, values of teamwork, trust and cooperation, hard work, commitment and perseverance, confidence, fitness and health, sacrifice, graciousness in defeat, honesty, preparation, dedication.
From colts onwards and uni level, so way ahead of you yet obviously, yes they drink on their ‘social’ eves after training and games, sometimes too much, e.g., drinking games, initiations and egging each other on, some do choose not to and this is respected if they can’t drink due to personal or religious reasons. The ‘banter’ is questionable at times.
Downside: mainly related to possible injuries.
The longer they play and with good coaching, they learn how to tackle and scrum etc properly and safely, i.e., to minimise injury. But obviously as they get older, they also get much bigger and stronger. There is more awareness these days with regard to e.g.,concussions and head injury assessments. Injuries inevitably happen to some, and for the most part are superficial, sprains, black eye, dislocated finger etc. They become tough and take a lot of knocks. We’ve seen a few broken arms and legs, ourselves have had two broken shoulders, one very badly and completely rebuilt with an op, a broken ankle, thumb, noses, ribs. But that is continuous play over a high level for 15-20 years, it doesn’t necessarily apply as the ‘norm’ . If we always looked at a negative ‘what if’ scenario we’d never do anything.
Our long experience of rugby (culture) is probably pretty near the exact opposite of what non playing people think. Without exception the friends my ds’s have made have been fantastic young men. They play hard and they sometimes do party hard but they also work hard too. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist but I’ve personally never seen inappropriate, disrespectful or blatant sexist behaviour, and I agree (and so does ds) that the way you parent and the values you instil are relevant to how they go on to behave in any situation.
My dcs have tried various hobbies and sports, kids just need to try different experiences and find out what they like. For us the benefits of playing has outweighed the risks and our experience with rugby has only been positive and life enhancing.