AIBU to not want my son to do rugby because of the culture?

[sausagedogsforever]

I probably am being unreasonable but, my DS aged 5 really wants to do rugby. He once had a taster session, loved it and has asked to go since (for a good year). So shows no signs of getting over the urge.

I am thinking maybe I should take him again to another taster (maybe he won't like it) but also what if he loves it?

I used to like watching rugby and I find the games much more family friendly to watch than football matches. However, I've heard terrible things about rugby players and rugby playing culture? Like gross drinking games, sexism, just all round bad behaviour and treatment of women, initiation games to fit in etc.
is this really what it's like? Does anyone have any experience?
The other issue is injury, it's likely in a sport like that, so do I really want to encourage this?
Any advice welcome. Has anyone got a rugby playing son/husband?
Am I being unreasonable?

My rugby playing 17 and his rugby playing friends are complete gentlemen. They watch out for each other when socialising and also watch out for the girls who socialise with them.
They may be loud and obnoxious on the pitch but are often kind and gentle off the pitch. Rugby allows teenage boys to knock the living daylights out of each other in a controlled manner. There is total respect for coaches and match officials. The ref is always referred to as sir, any dissent is an immediate yellow card and only the captain is allowed to directly approach the ref. This teaches control and respect which spills over into off pitch life.
Also the parents are expected to abide by the rules. You will not find 22 dads screaming at their sons or at the coach, this too can result in a yellow card for the parent.

Yeah, it's pretty ghastly. Properly, properly outdated macho upper/upper-middle class attitudes dominate. Hardly a coincidence that it's the only sport that Boris Johnson is interested in. Few rugby club dinners would be complete without a stripper/hooker ending up on stage performing who knows what acts on a young team member, etc.

Also, I think the slow dawning of realisation around the seriousness of head injuries etc means that it's going to go the way of American football [in the US] by the time your DS is an adult - there'll be a pro game, a top level university game, but no amateur/club game to speak of.

Would much rather rugby than football culture. Get him into it!

Yabu very. Let him play and stop and think why you are putting your sons happiness behind some gossip you have heard.will be be allowed to go to university if he wants to because of the sex and binge drinking you hear about?cut the apron strings and allow him to be happy.

Few rugby club dinners would be complete without a stripper/hooker ending up on stage performing who knows what acts on a young team member, etc.

I’ve been going to rugby dinners for 15 years, I have never seen anything like that.

Yeah, it's pretty ghastly. Properly, properly outdated macho upper/upper-middle class attitudes dominate. Hardly a coincidence that it's the only sport that Boris Johnson is interested in

My cousins play rugby, around the Castleford/Pontefract/Wakefield area. It couldn’t be further from upper class around there 😂

At 5??
It's touch rugby until he's much older and if he enjoys it go for it. There's hardly going to be much sexist banter in the locker rooms!
When it becomes full contact there is some physical risk, though teams must adhere to strict rules now. My son played from 11-16 and loved it, would be playing now except ince 16 the kids all dispersed and hard to get them all together (this was the league rugby, not school). Though I do recall him saying that he hated going in the minibus to away matches as the language was awful- this from a boy who can swear with the best of them! Not limited to rugby though.

@kierenthecommunity same here. The Welsh valleys are absolutely chock full of those upper middle class types. 🤔

@Simonjt

Few rugby club dinners would be complete without a stripper/hooker ending up on stage performing who knows what acts on a young team member, etc.

I’ve been going to rugby dinners for 15 years, I have never seen anything like that.

No wonder England play badly they've sex on the brain 😅😅😅

@kierenthecommunity

Yeah, it's pretty ghastly. Properly, properly outdated macho upper/upper-middle class attitudes dominate. Hardly a coincidence that it's the only sport that Boris Johnson is interested in

My cousins play rugby, around the Castleford/Pontefract/Wakefield area. It couldn’t be further from upper class around there 😂

A friend played for Batley Bulldogs, very upper class 🤣

@Simonjt - BB is rugby league, which is hardly the same thing, culturewise.

Any serious attempt to deny a link between rugby union playing and social class in England [or Ireland/Scotland], outside of a couple of very small, very sparsely populated, geographic areas would be inherently totally non-serious.

[quote puffyisgood]@Simonjt - BB is rugby league, which is hardly the same thing, culturewise.

Any serious attempt to deny a link between rugby union playing and social class in England [or Ireland/Scotland], outside of a couple of very small, very sparsely populated, geographic areas would be inherently totally non-serious.[/quote]
I play union, I’m yet to have a team mate I would consider posh, and I grew up in a shared flat, so my posh line is quite low.

My husband was a good rugby player. He is a respectful man. Many years ago, when we went to a rugby match in which his son was playing, a man shouted a racist response. Almost immediately, someone shouted out “ this is rugby, not football “ and he was really applauded. No more racist remarks ensued.