I’ve accidentally made myself UR to my 6yo, WWYD?

[DentistOrNoDentist]

6yo does an activity on Tuesday nights, she absolutely loves the activity, gets excited while eating her breakfast, talks about it all day at school, and would happily skip school to go (she doesn’t really like school).

She’s due a checkup at the dentist, she’s been due one for over a year but covid meant she wasn’t invited for one until a few weeks ago.

Called the dentist and the only appointment they had for 3 months was tonight and they couldn’t guarantee the one in 3 months wouldn’t be a Tuesday so I took it.

Explained to 6yo that she’d miss her activity tonight due to the dentist appointment and she cried, proper sobbing heartbroken tears. Then didn’t mention it again.

This morning she gets up excited about her activity, reminded her about her dentist appointment and she broke down crying again, pleading with me to let her go to her activity. I explained that the dentist only had this appointment or we’d have to wait 3 months and she begged me to cancel it and rebook for 3 months (who knows if it might be longer now though it’s the only NHS dentist for 10 miles).

She needs her checkup, she’s started loosing her teeth since her last one and sometimes complains of pain in wobbly teeth – I’m not concerned as such but do want it looked at (my mum claims both me and my brother got occasional pain in wobbly teeth hence why I’m not overly worried but still want it checking).

She does another activity at the weekends that she does enjoy but the Tuesday activity stopped over Christmas and New Year and due to covid isolation that clashed with the last session of 2021 she hasn’t been for 4 weeks so I get her heartbreak over it for her. But she needs the dentist appointment, and I’ve always said hobbies and activities should never be at the expense of education or health.

She’s gone crying into school, begging me one last time to please try and change the appointment.

So WWYD? Ring and change in the hope I get something sooner than 3 months away or take her tonight and deal with potential fall out?

For added context: I’m a single parent, just me her and our pets at home. ExH doesn’t see her as often as the court order stipulates and has messed her around over Christmas (saw her Christmas Day but not since even though he was supposed to see her twice since then) and she struggles with that so I do think that’s feeding into her worries.

Vote:
YANBU - Go to the Dentist
YABU - Cancel and take DD to her activity

@Thirtytimesround

Children have had such a tough time during covid and honestly I think their mental health is more important than a check up for milk teeth.

Why on earth would her MH be impacted because she had to go to the dentist?

Can spot the people that never had any dental issues as a child on this thread

Medical appointment always trumps after school activity.

Why on earth would her MH be impacted because she had to go to the dentist?

Maybe not her mental health as such, but I can see it setting up a life-long hatred of going to the dentist. And a loathing of dental appointments really isn't something you want to instil in a child at that age.

I'm in camp activity on this occasion.

@eagerlywaitingfor

Why on earth would her MH be impacted because she had to go to the dentist?

Maybe not her mental health as such, but I can see it setting up a life-long hatred of going to the dentist. And a loathing of dental appointments really isn't something you want to instil in a child at that age.

I'm in camp activity on this occasion.

So she cries and gets out of the dentist now - what happens when the next medical appointment clashes with something? Can she cry and skip that one too?

Since when did a six year old call the shots?!

So many uneducated comments about how pointless check ups are for children. Do you people understand why children have check ups? A dental check up is incredibly important for oral health even in young children. They can catch things you don't even realise is happening before it becomes a bigger issue.

FrappuccinoLight

This may be an unpopular idea but maybe lie to her and say you rang the activity and they actually don’t return after the Xmas break until next week - then next week if anyone mentions they were there this week just say you must have got the wrong info…

I really don't agree with lying to your child. It is so important to be honest at all times with children. It builds better relationships going forward. I remember one time my niece wanted to get her ears pierced and her Mum told her it doesn't hurt. She asked if she could call me and her Mum asked why and she said I am always honest with her. I was honest and told her it hurts a little and she happily went ahead and did it. Believe me children remember the adults in their life that are honest with them.

@Georgeskitchen

Without sounding harsh ask yourself what message you are sending you daughter if you bend to her wishes. Dental appointments are pretty important and teeth which are looked after will stay in good condition for a long long time.

If an adult was booking a dentist appointment, they would have their diary infront of them and not book during a pre arranged activity/appointment.

Just because she’s a child doesn’t mean that her pre existing arrangements don’t need to be taken into account.

It’s too late for this time, but the reasonable thing would have been booking a dentist appointment that doesn’t clash with her longstanding commitments. Not just making her miss something because she’s a child and doesn’t manage her own diary

Just had a call from the lovely receptionist, they can move the appointment half an hour earlier as the person ahead of us now can't come, she still might miss the first 5 minutes of her class but she's going to be so happy!

@Thirtytimesround

Children have had such a tough time during covid and honestly I think their mental health is more important than a check up for milk teeth.

You are setting children up for way more MH issues in the future if they think the world will revolve around them and they don't learn to realise disappointment is an ok emotion and move on.

That's wonderful, great that the receptionist could sort it out for you.

Excellent outcome, OP! Get the next one booked in while you’re there!

I'd rebook.
Maybe find another dentist if you can if all they can offer is a Tuesday.

Oops. Just seen the update! Yay. Happy daughter!

If an adult was booking a dentist appointment, they would have their diary infront of them and not book during a pre arranged activity/appointment.

When I called for my upcoming appointment (NHS) approx 3 months ago, I just took whatever was available, I've not had a check up in almost 2 years.

Just had a call from the lovely receptionist, they can move the appointment half an hour earlier as the person ahead of us now can't come, she still might miss the first 5 minutes of her class but she's going to be so happy!

Aww that's great news.

I recently did take my DC out of activities for dentists and I would do it again. I didn't feel guilty at all though, maybe I should have? For me it was clear cut though, an easy decision to make As dentist appointments are like gold dust.

I wouldn't worry about painful wobbly teeth though. They do hurt. Essentially they are teething, and losing a tooth at the same time. Sometimes they bleed, sometimes the gum becomes inflamed. Just because it's normal and natural doesn't mean it is pain free

DentistOrNoDentist

Just had a call from the lovely receptionist, they can move the appointment half an hour earlier as the person ahead of us now can't come, she still might miss the first 5 minutes of her class but she's going to be so happy!

I'd be getting that lovely receptionist a box of chocolates.

That update is brilliant though, perfect out come !

@Theblacksheepandme

DentistOrNoDentist

Just had a call from the lovely receptionist, they can move the appointment half an hour earlier as the person ahead of us now can't come, she still might miss the first 5 minutes of her class but she's going to be so happy!

I'd be getting that lovely receptionist a box of chocolates.

@Theblacksheepandme I am considering it, she was so nice "Are you still wanting to change the appointment time?" when I said if possible she said "Well good news for you the person before you can't make it do you want their appointment?" I couldn't thank her enough.

This is so great!

"I'd be getting that lovely receptionist a box of chocolates."

But on the condition she brushes her teeth very well after eating them...

If all ok at the dentist could you not join the activity a bit latet

Dentist, she'll have forgotten the upset by next Tuesday

I just noticed your update, that worked out well!

Maybe a plant instead!

How lovely when things work out.

Get ready with the camera when you tell your daughter the good news!