I’ve accidentally made myself UR to my 6yo, WWYD?

[DentistOrNoDentist]

6yo does an activity on Tuesday nights, she absolutely loves the activity, gets excited while eating her breakfast, talks about it all day at school, and would happily skip school to go (she doesn’t really like school).

She’s due a checkup at the dentist, she’s been due one for over a year but covid meant she wasn’t invited for one until a few weeks ago.

Called the dentist and the only appointment they had for 3 months was tonight and they couldn’t guarantee the one in 3 months wouldn’t be a Tuesday so I took it.

Explained to 6yo that she’d miss her activity tonight due to the dentist appointment and she cried, proper sobbing heartbroken tears. Then didn’t mention it again.

This morning she gets up excited about her activity, reminded her about her dentist appointment and she broke down crying again, pleading with me to let her go to her activity. I explained that the dentist only had this appointment or we’d have to wait 3 months and she begged me to cancel it and rebook for 3 months (who knows if it might be longer now though it’s the only NHS dentist for 10 miles).

She needs her checkup, she’s started loosing her teeth since her last one and sometimes complains of pain in wobbly teeth – I’m not concerned as such but do want it looked at (my mum claims both me and my brother got occasional pain in wobbly teeth hence why I’m not overly worried but still want it checking).

She does another activity at the weekends that she does enjoy but the Tuesday activity stopped over Christmas and New Year and due to covid isolation that clashed with the last session of 2021 she hasn’t been for 4 weeks so I get her heartbreak over it for her. But she needs the dentist appointment, and I’ve always said hobbies and activities should never be at the expense of education or health.

She’s gone crying into school, begging me one last time to please try and change the appointment.

So WWYD? Ring and change in the hope I get something sooner than 3 months away or take her tonight and deal with potential fall out?

For added context: I’m a single parent, just me her and our pets at home. ExH doesn’t see her as often as the court order stipulates and has messed her around over Christmas (saw her Christmas Day but not since even though he was supposed to see her twice since then) and she struggles with that so I do think that’s feeding into her worries.

Vote:
YANBU - Go to the Dentist
YABU - Cancel and take DD to her activity

How sad to upset your daughter, but life also goes on. Unfortunately the trip to the dentist is important and you must not give in to tantrum and emotional blackmail. Give her a treat after the dentist appointment, so she gets a positive finish to the matter.

These parenting situations are tricky but there's no 'right or wrong' answer, although I'm sure you realise that. And, by now the event may have passed. Whichever way things went though, the dust will settle. IMO, although 3 months is a long time to wait for a dentist, my instinct here would be to prioritise her activity, simply because she clearly loves it so much then try for a dentist cancellation. But she will be fine to miss a week. She's naturally disappointed and expressing that.

Your daughter sounds adorable and that's absolutely due to you being such a thoughtful, kind mum.

I'm old. I know.

Maybe take her for a treat or something after the dentist?

To be honest I'd just take them to dentist and be done with it, life is hard sometimes and you don't always get what you want. Being able to get through and bear such hard parts of life is an essential part of growth and sets her up with an ability to cope with things when she's older. She will forget it eventually, she's not gonna be 25 and hating you for taking her to the dentist that one time!

Dentist. However, I would take this opportunity to explain simply and calmly that there will always be things that we want to do, and other things that we need to do, and that the "need" must come before the "want."

Personally I’d cancel and take her to her activity. It’s good she’s so commuted about it and kids have missed out on so much due to Covid. (Unless she has serious problems with her teeth of course)Pain In Wobbly teeth is normal as the gaged edges can push into gum as it’s starting to fall out.

I agree dentist, I understand she is upset to miss her activity but health comes 1st. Dental appointments for children are recommended every 6months adults every 12months unless you have issues. Our DD actually has to go every 3months as her baby teeth were /are weak due to her being in distress at birth (when in distress the 1st thing you body takes to help fight is calcium apparently?) our DD now 12 but still every 3months as the new and old teeth are overlapping as old not fully out and the dentist is keeping an eye on no damage to the new so dentist is just as important as doctors in my opinion .

Either suggest as others have said a different activity of her choice later in the week or see if the activity she does has other days and they can accommodate other days. She will be dissapointed but explain why medical appointments are just as important as fin activities.

@Mamanyt

Dentist. However, I would take this opportunity to explain simply and calmly that there will always be things that we want to do, and other things that we need to do, and that the "need" must come before the "want."

This.

It's actually quite important kids learn to face some disappointments.

These days it’s hard to register with a dentist so do not cancel or rearrange an appointment, she’s 6 !

This really was a heart warming thread with a lovely ending. I am so pleased everything worked out. Children have had such an awful time with Covid and have missed out on so much it affects them more than we realise so clubs and routine are very important. What a stressful day of worry for you