Would you rather be married to an anti-vaxxer or a smoker?

[ImAnOmelette]

A random conversation I started with DH this morning. He is neither!!!

I think it would depend a little on whether the antivaxxer would prevent my DC being vaccinated. Can that happen?

@BertieQueen

So this thread is basically another way to insult anyone who doesn’t want the covid vaccine

Don’t know how many times this has been said but someone who doesn’t have one vaccine doesn’t mean they are are a anti vaxxer.

To the ones saying they would go behind their partners back and get their children vaccinated how would you feel if it was the other way round and your partner did something that you didn’t want to you children?

If a partner was anti vax - not just one against one vaccine - but against all vaccinations surely you would discuss this before children are brought into the equation so the problem didn't come up further down the line? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Good point about the being upset if a DP did something to your D.C. behind your back. I'd be horrified / annoyed depending on what it was.

For me both of these options are bad. I was just wondering which was worst.

@BertieQueen

So this thread is basically another way to insult anyone who doesn’t want the covid vaccine

Don’t know how many times this has been said but someone who doesn’t have one vaccine doesn’t mean they are are a anti vaxxer.

To the ones saying they would go behind their partners back and get their children vaccinated how would you feel if it was the other way round and your partner did something that you didn’t want to you children?

If a partner was anti vax - not just one against one vaccine - but against all vaccinations surely you would discuss this before children are brought into the equation so the problem didn't come up further down the line? 🤷🏼‍♀️

I have NO recollection of having a discussion about feelings on vaccination before conceiving D.C.

Maybe it was a given since we went for our wedding holiday jabs together...

@Rosebel

Smoker. Especially if anti vaxer was against any child getting vaccinations. Probably biased because I grew up in a family of smokers with no issues and couldn't live with someone who was happy to potentially let our child die from an illness we could have prevented.

My DM smoked/smokes. My DF is vehemently against it. It has made me hate smoking and has done the same for my children. 🤞

@Getyourjinglebellsinarow

Antivaxxer. There's no such thing as second hand non vaccination. Lack of vaccination doesn't smell. Doesn't stain your walls. Doesn't cost your money. I'd never be with a smoker.

But there are some theories that you're more likely to get more ill with COVID from a higher dose of virus which you could be more likely to get from someone who isn't vaccinated?

Suppose it depends what anti - vaxxer means exactly.. I’ve had my vaccinations but DH was free to make his own choice. If he’d simply chosen against I’d still respect him and hopefully vice versa. If he was believing conspiracy youtube theories and trying to dissuade elderly relatives from having the vaccination for instance then I would have lost all respect for him and couldn’t continue the relationship.

Both of us are on the fence with regards child vaccination so even if one ends up pro and one against I actually don’t think we’ll be that far apart because neither of us is dogmatic on either side.

I couldn’t ever be with a smoker. I find it revolting.

@KeepingAnOpenMind

By anti vaxxer do you mean someone who isn’t taking this vax or every vax? If it’s the former, chill out. This one isn’t very effective.

It still seems to be fairly good at preventing death which is something!

@SusanBland

Ooh this is fun! Would you rather be married to an obese person or a judgemental arsehole?

Obese person. More chance of changing. But living with an obese person would probably make me more likely to overeat too....

[quote onlychildhamster]@JaniieJones it depends on what you define as a an anti-vaxxer. My MIL was against all childhood vaccines. She is now triple jabbed against covid because I guess its a pandemic/global crisis so she sees the rationale behind being vaccinated and also because she wants to go overseas to see elderly parents. i assume that the OP refers to covid anti-vaxxers in this post as that is the most prominent/relevant group of anti-vaxxers in the context of 2022. i still say my MIL is an anti vaxxer as she doesn't support all vaccines.

I find covid anti vaxxer more problematic because unvaccinated people can't travel to most countries for the foreseeable future and having a spouse that can't travel with me is not something i am willing to accept.[/quote]
Very good point!!! We moved heaven and earth (not quite but almost) to get the D.C. vaccinated ASAP for travel reasons as much as for health.

@jetztzeit

Smoker. Arguably it's an addiction, and they can be persuaded to quit. Most smokers I know recognise that the habit is grim and would be horrified if their own children/teenagers smoked. Anti-vaxxers on the other hand, do and can prevent their children from being vaccinated, and you can't even reason with them.

Mind you, I'm currently quietly a bit resentful because an anti-vaxx colleague is currently on their third isolation, affecting our already small and stretched team, so I'm perhaps not the best person to ask right now

What happens to their pay during this isolation?

smoker

It still seems to be fairly good at preventing death which is something!
Yes but I’m sure it’s calculable.. what is the extra risk an otherwise healthy person with no co-morbidities is taking on by not getting vaccinated vs by taking up smoking? I would imagine it’s smoking although a much longer term risk, which would also present 2nd hand smoke risks to me and the DC.. not to mention the smell (even if they only smoke outside and shower etc etc.. find me a smoker that doesn’t smell of it).

Whichever one I'll get the best divorce settlement from...
^This, although these no way I'd have married a smoker in the first place.
I wouldn't knowingly married an antivaxer either.

I'd rather a smoker. Because they can still be decent people.

Antivaxxers tend to be selfish and a bit thick and stubborn imo. Nonsensical.

A smoker. We have to immunise the herd to keep this thing at the door.

Wouldn't have time for either, one's stupid, one stinks.

Smoker for sure. I don't like smoking but not everyone who smokes is stupid. Some smokers just really struggle to kick the habit. Never met an intelligent anti-vaxxer though! They'll always have whacky/horrible views about other things too. Couldn't be listening to that.

Omelette they are on full sick pay.

A smoker, if it was only out of the house. And I'd insure his life. Might as well get something out of the selfish bastard who doesn't care enough about his kids.

An anti vaxxer could potentially kill my kids, so that's an absolute no. And I'd prefer a selfish addict to a science-denying idiot.

Couldn't care less for either tbh

@jetztzeit

Omelette they are on full sick pay.

That must be so frustrating. 😰

I'd rather be single.

Me too.

@ImAnOmelette

A random conversation I started with DH this morning. He is neither!!!

I think it would depend a little on whether the antivaxxer would prevent my DC being vaccinated. Can that happen?

Neither. Ever

I wouldn't really want either, but I absolutely cannot stand the smell of smoking, so I'd have to pick the anti-vaxxer.

Neither. I know that the majority of smokers are considerate with regards to second-hand smoke these days. But I wouldn't want to worry about losing my partner to a smoking related illness or for my DC to lose their father. I also wouldn't want my DC to follow his example and start smoking themselves.
I have Long Covid, so I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't take Covid seriously after my own experience with it.

I also wouldn't want to be listening to conspiracy theories on a daily basis; I have Facebook friends who are anti vaxxers and I've unfollowed them because I don't want to be bombarded constantly by the latest conspiracy surrounding vaccines.

I'm sure that not everyone who has chosen not to have the vaccine is a conspiracy theorist but the two do seem to go together.

Thankfully, my DH is neither, it's a completely hypothetical question in my case.

Why answer 'neither' to these kind of hypothetical x or y questions between two bad choices? Almost everyone wouldn't want either, that's the point. You can't start a chat by asking would you rather be married to a kind man or a complete arsehole.