Would you rather be married to an anti-vaxxer or a smoker?

[ImAnOmelette]

A random conversation I started with DH this morning. He is neither!!!

I think it would depend a little on whether the antivaxxer would prevent my DC being vaccinated. Can that happen?

Smoker. Couldn't do with the conspiracy theory idiocy of an antivaxxer

Smoker, no question. Any antivaxxer I’ve come across (including my batshit cousin) has been beyond help and I have no time for that bullshit in my life. Critical thinking doesn’t feature in their lives at all and if you dig a little deeper, you’ll invariably find that they believe in even more outlandish conspiracies.

Anti-vaxxer. I can't stand smoking or being around it.

@amusedbush

Smoker, no question. Any antivaxxer I’ve come across (including my batshit cousin) has been beyond help and I have no time for that bullshit in my life. Critical thinking doesn’t feature in their lives at all and if you dig a little deeper, you’ll invariably find that they believe in even more outlandish conspiracies.

Very true.

By anti vaxxer do you mean someone who isn’t taking this vax or every vax?
If it’s the former, chill out. This one isn’t very effective.

[quote Tealightsandd]get headaches at work from smokers smoking on breaks then coming inside with it all over their clothing.

Then we'll have to ban perfume if something giving someone else a headache is a problem. I used to work with someone who stopped the whole office wearing any fragrance. No diagnosed allergy, they just said it gave them headaches.

I get headaches from the smell of fish. Makes me gag too.

Smoking, unlike Covid, is a net economic gain to the economy.

www.publicfinance.co.uk/news/2017/08/smoking-and-drinking-save-public-purse-money

And also smoking, unlike Long Covid, doesn't cause huge numbers of non smokers to become disabled.

On a separate note, lung cancer cases are increasing in never smokers (especially women).

www.verywellhealth.com/why-is-lung-cancer-increasing-in-never-smokers-4688865[/quote]
I wouldn't expect it to be banned, though one colleague does complain about another colleague's spray deodorant and that poor person who has anxiety about possible body odour has been spoken to several times. I was just pointing out that smoking does cause harm to others.

@Thievesoil

If you replace “anti vaccer” with any other minority term, you venture into hate speech

I wouldn’t want to date anyone who couldn’t have a robust debate about differences of opinion

Very well said.

If you can't have a debate with your other half (because you refuse to listen or because their arguments don't make sense) that's understandable, you should definitely end the relationship.

Personally, I couldn't tolerate living with anyone who assumes all smokers and all people who refuse a vaccine are the same as each other... It's like saying all people who are gay, or straight, or vegan, or black, or white, or young, or old, etc. are all the same. It's discriminatory and not the kind of person I'd want to have in my life.

Ooh this is fun! Would you rather be married to an obese person or a judgemental arsehole?

Smoker. I couldn’t be bothered listening to all the ranty antivax bollocks all the time.

@JaniieJones it depends on what you define as a an anti-vaxxer. My MIL was against all childhood vaccines. She is now triple jabbed against covid because I guess its a pandemic/global crisis so she sees the rationale behind being vaccinated and also because she wants to go overseas to see elderly parents. i assume that the OP refers to covid anti-vaxxers in this post as that is the most prominent/relevant group of anti-vaxxers in the context of 2022. i still say my MIL is an anti vaxxer as she doesn't support all vaccines.

I find covid anti vaxxer more problematic because unvaccinated people can't travel to most countries for the foreseeable future and having a spouse that can't travel with me is not something i am willing to accept.

Smoker. Arguably it's an addiction, and they can be persuaded to quit. Most smokers I know recognise that the habit is grim and would be horrified if their own children/teenagers smoked. Anti-vaxxers on the other hand, do and can prevent their children from being vaccinated, and you can't even reason with them.

Mind you, I'm currently quietly a bit resentful because an anti-vaxx colleague is currently on their third isolation, affecting our already small and stretched team, so I'm perhaps not the best person to ask right now

@Pugroll

An out and out actual antivaxxer as in would never allow childhood vaccines either then ew I'd rather a smoker and I hate that. If its someone who's been labelled one for not wanting the covid jab I wouldn't be arsed.

If they didn't let your DC have the covid jab?

@ittakes2

There are people who choose the vaccine is not right for them and I respect their choice. Anti vaxxers who lobby others on their opinion are a bit scary!

Good point.

[quote Tealightsandd]get headaches at work from smokers smoking on breaks then coming inside with it all over their clothing.

Then we'll have to ban perfume if something giving someone else a headache is a problem. I used to work with someone who stopped the whole office wearing any fragrance. No diagnosed allergy, they just said it gave them headaches.

I get headaches from the smell of fish. Makes me gag too.

Smoking, unlike Covid, is a net economic gain to the economy.

www.publicfinance.co.uk/news/2017/08/smoking-and-drinking-save-public-purse-money

And also smoking, unlike Long Covid, doesn't cause huge numbers of non smokers to become disabled.

On a separate note, lung cancer cases are increasing in never smokers (especially women).

www.verywellhealth.com/why-is-lung-cancer-increasing-in-never-smokers-4688865[/quote]
Interesting about the lung cancer.

@shouldistop

What do you mean by anti vaxxer? Someone who thinks all vaccinations are poison and would refuse their children life saving vaccines or someone who doesn't want a vaccination for something vanishingly unlikely to harm them?

Initially I meant against COVID. But most childhood diseases are now rare and unlikely to cause permanent harm but I would still vaccinate against anything possible given the chance.

But perhaps I'm swayed by having a child who has suffered permanent harm from a childhood disease that we don't routinely vaccinate against (which other countries do vaccinate against).

Anti-vaxxer. I live with a smoker and it breaks my heart, I think it is almost like a suicide attempt or death wish. He is going to the doctors soon to ask about stopping using the tablets but it has ruined his health in so many ways.

Well, a smoker is more likely to die prematurely so, anti vaxxer if their reasoning was rational.

Smoker. No contest.

Anti-vaxxers are fucking idiots. I would have no patience for that shit. Smokers are normal people with a bad habit.

@TreeSmuggler

For me it depends what kind of smoker and what kind of antivaxxer. Social smoker, or dedicated chain smoker who smokes inside the house? Vs a total anti vaxxer, or just covid?

I guess the main thing I'd worry about with an antivaxxer is my children, and as the mum I'd be a lot less worried about that than if I was the dad. I'm not sure how their dad would stop me. I have their red books and make all their medical appointments. I've been by myself at all my kids vaccinations and the gp has never asked for their dads permission. Their dad could be not on the scene or dead for all the gp knows.

That's the thing. I've never been asked about DH's views either. And yet I'm now hearing of people who haven't been able to get a COVID jab for their D.C. because of the views of the other parent.

Is this a real thing?? In fairness most of them have been Americans. Maybe the rules are different there?

Smoker because anti-vaxxers are thick as mince and at least a smoker you can mitigate the nasty bits slightly by asking them to smoke outdoors! Would rather deal with that than a lifetime with someone I thought was a fucking idiot.

@longwayoff

Never sick eh? You and he should hope and pray the children don't pick up one of the many illnesses that still proliferate because of ignorance like this. Welcome polio, diphtheria, measles, rubella, smallpox. Idiot.

@Marmunia999 said: Definitely an anti-vaxxer. One of my male friends is an anti-vaxxer. None of his children have ever received one vaccine and they are never sick!

I also hope they never want to go into holiday to an area where these diseases are much more prevalent.

@Somethingsnappy

Sorry to detail, but why are people saying a spouse could prevent your DC getting vaccinated? Whenever I've taken my children for their vaccinations, I've done it alone and never needed any kind of proof of consent from their father. Not that that is a problem in our house anyway.

The friends who have said this have are dealing with the US vaccination system.

Parents who have routine vaccinations for their children but say no to a single one are not anti vaxxers ffs.

[quote KevinTheKoala]@somethingsnappy if a GP surgery is made aware that one parent does not consent then legally the surgery cannot vaccinate that child. They don't ask for consent but many strict antivaxxers would ring the surgery and make their wishes known which would then prevent the child being vaccinated, my sisters partner did this with my nephew because she was planning to get it done without his knowledge.[/quote]
That's so sad. Is there anything she can do?

@elliejjtiny

Tricky one. I have asthma triggered by cigarette smoke so a smoker would be very bad news for me. But I'm thinking of someone who chain smokes in the house and car. Someone who smokes occasionally outside would probably be ok. Same as the anti vaxxer. If they just didn't want to get the covid vaccine themselves that might be ok. If they spouted rubbish about conspiracy theories and tried to prevent me/the children having vaccines that would be a definite deal breaker.

But a smoker who smokes outside, washes hands etc might be less likely to make you ill than an anti-vaxer?