Have your parents become funny about childcare since covid?

[Longcovid21]

I was speaking with a colleague today who mentioned her parents are now reluctant to help with childcare since covid. I'm in the same boat. Mine in their 70s now refuse to do any child care and instead pop by to spend time with me outdoors. They will not sit in a house with the children and I as if we have become biohazards.

I am going away for a week with work and they refuse to help, citing covid risk, which leaves me truly buggered as exdp is working and cannot help (we also live 70 miles apart). Is this a common thing? I know they are in the vulnerable category etc., but given how much help they had off their parents when I was growing up this seems really unfair. Aibu?

What about ex's parents?
They are your kids grandparents as well.

What would you do if your parents weren't around or in a dementia home or something?
Youd have to have another plan or not go.
That's your choice.

although im aware its generalizing as there do seem to be a fair few posters who have said their parents love seeing and having their grandchildren and dont see it as some sort of burden ,
for the most part the disgust expressed at the thead for me exemplfies the english attitude to parenting in general which is
you have your kids , best secenrio possible is that they are fucked off and living independently by at least 20 , if they are still at home happily with their parents these poor souls especially if they are male are seen as mummys boys as also typified of some threads iv seen , it wont matter how independent , how many friends they have , this man still living at home with his parents will be seen and judged as odd and lacking
hopefully though these kids do leave home fairly early to avoid this fate and marry and have their own kids , once they do this and your job for life is done , you dont want to be burdened down with helping out with your grandchildren apart from maybe once in 3 years as you have done that shit already
however , all this changes once you become old , once you are all sad and lonely , spouse had passed on and theres a bunch of stuff you cant do anymore thats when it all reverses
now the kids or adults rather must juggle their marriages ,the grandchildren and jobs to attend to you on a daily basis because you refuse to have a carer in as its too humiliating and why would you thats what you had kids for , to look after you in your old age

my mother isnt english , although shes lived here for the 70s , she still says even now english people are peculiar , my older brother in late 50s who visited us from the homeland many years ago when i was late teens spend a year and has never returned as he stated how much he hated enland lol , put it another way , english people are fucked up
i thought at the time he was being a bit harsh , being on mumsnet even for a short time has me just ever so slightly tending to agree with him now and then

What would you do if your parents weren't around or in a dementia home or something?

What an awful thing to say.

What an awful thing to say
It's not though.
This is the reality for a few of my single parent friends.
Death and dementia isnt something to be ignored and for many people such as you it could be a reality anytime. We dont know when or if it will happen to us.
You are telling us that your parents are scares of covid. I get it. Mine are too However I have to respect their feelings and concerns.

Not a childcare thing but my parents will very rarely go out with us now "because of covid" although they will happily go places on their own and have every man and his dog round to theirs. They are also convinced that the pandemic will end in September although I've no idea where they've got that date from.

YABU because it's not unfair, it's their choice.
Their attitude to Covid is something else, but in terms of childcare maybe this is just an excuse because they don't want to anymore. Were their own parents 70+ when they were helping them out?

My parents don’t care at all now post vaccines. They were fairly cautious before. My father is more vulnerable than my mother so we would meet with my mother alone and then she would isolate from my father for about a week after. Now, post 3 vaccinations, he is determined to live life completely normally.

We live quite far away from them so childcare has never really been a thing though, it’s more then spending time with us as a family.

I clicked YABU for a couple of reasons.

There's no way I'd be asking my parents for a weeks childcare, they wouldn't be able to do it and my DF is mid 60's and fairly fit. Overnight yes, a week - no.

We're also in the middle of a pandemic and they're CV, children are a risk factor and if they don't feel comfortable then they just don't.

I don't think YABU to be slightly disappointed but like plenty of others have said - they don't owe you childcare and I can't argue with their reasons. They're vulnerable and don't want to.

I hope you manage to find someone else to help out. What about your ex's parents?