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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

People that don't like people

326 replies

toopeopley · 10/01/2022 14:45

AIBU to ask what that is about?

It's too peopley out there

Not going out because I don't like people

Various memes and quotes about not liking people.

What does this mean, why don't you like people?

Is there an element of actually wanting that connection with people but not knowing how to go about it so pushing it away?

OP posts:

OwMyToe · 10/01/2022 14:49

People can be great, but most of the time I'm happier not mixing with the masses. It's not that mysterious. Lots of people don't particularly enjoy interacting with random humans. Sometimes you're just not in the mood to be around people, and some people feel that way most of the time.

It's no different than so many other memes. It takes a thought or trait and exaggerates it.

EvilPea · 10/01/2022 14:50

I’m one of those people who say that.
I think what I probably mean is there’s too many arseholes out there.
Some people are nice, some people are twats, some are down right scum.
I hold doors for people, give people space, say thank you when they give way to me. I plant for wildlife and treat all life with the same respect I would like given to me.

So when I don’t get a thank you for giving way to someone or watch someone encourage their kids to chase birds. Or on the other scale you read of animal or vulnerable person abuse you realise there’s actually a lot of scum bags out there.

AlizeeEasy · 10/01/2022 14:50

It may be slightly tongue in cheek, I sometimes say I don’t like people, really what I mean is that I’m an introvert who gets exhausted quickly when I spend time with people, even if it’s people I love. I live alone because I really can’t handle living with other people and I have a job that is not costumer focussed. I am very friendly and polite and enjoy the odd chit chat and small talk, it just can’t be all the time.

Wolfiefan · 10/01/2022 14:52

Yes too many arseholes.

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 10/01/2022 14:52

I cant be arsed with people.

Everyone who I end up friends with either uses me or trauma dumps on me constantly or somehow screws me over.

I'm so much happier on my own, with my kids, and just going out and chatting on a superficial level.

GCITC · 10/01/2022 14:55

I generally mean I can't be arsed wasting energy following all the social rules I'm supposed to follow when around other people.

vodkaginwine · 10/01/2022 14:56

I like children and animals. Adults, meh, not for me. I like my home, my own company, and generally can’t be arsed with the hassle people being. I like a lot of quiet.

TheAirbender · 10/01/2022 14:57

I have ADHD. People overwhelm me, even the ones I really like. I need a lot of time alone and time to decompress from any socialising.

littlepeas · 10/01/2022 14:57

I like some people, but there are a lot of dickheads about. I don’t like huge crowds of any people, even the ones I like.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 10/01/2022 14:57

I have enough connections with people. I do not want more, thanks.

If I said that, it would be because the streets were busy and people were using loud voices. And walking too close. So maybe I would be more sensitive than usual to people.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/01/2022 14:58

Other people usually require of you to be smiley/chatty/interested. The alternative is then these people think that you are rude.

So for a lot of people it's too much effort to have to put on a show of niceties where none is genuine. Me included.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 10/01/2022 14:58

I like some people. They are usually as introverted as me. And usually also autistic.

80sMum · 10/01/2022 15:01

I don't like crowds, so always try to avoid crowded places if possible.
For the same reason, I tend to avoid having days out to nice places during the summer or on Bank Holidays or on any lovely sunny days when lots of people will be out and about.
I'm far happier visiting places in the rain on a cold day if that is the only time that I can have the place to myself or with very few other people.
Videos of crowded beaches and thronging streets make me shudder. All those masses of people all crowded into one place remind me of a plague of rats, or an infestation of maggots, all squirming around and intertwined.
I guess I may be a little bit odd.

ofwarren · 10/01/2022 15:02

I don't like people and I'm autistic. I can deal with them in small amounts but find them overwhelming and needy.

littlepeas · 10/01/2022 15:03

@80sMum

I don't like crowds, so always try to avoid crowded places if possible. For the same reason, I tend to avoid having days out to nice places during the summer or on Bank Holidays or on any lovely sunny days when lots of people will be out and about. I'm far happier visiting places in the rain on a cold day if that is the only time that I can have the place to myself or with very few other people. Videos of crowded beaches and thronging streets make me shudder. All those masses of people all crowded into one place remind me of a plague of rats, or an infestation of maggots, all squirming around and intertwined. I guess I may be a little bit odd.

I’m the same. I actively avoid places I know will be busy. If I really want/need to go somewhere I try to choose a time that is likely to be quiet.

thaegumathteth · 10/01/2022 15:03

I don't like small talk, I can't abide fakery and tbh I just don't enjoy being around people apart from my close family.

However, most people wouldn't know this , they think I'm friendly and outgoing.

I'm not unfriendly, I always make people feel included etc but ultimately there's
Nothing better than when you have plans to go out to some social event which is cancelled and you can stay home.

thaegumathteth · 10/01/2022 15:06

Oh and yes, I need time to decompress after socialising even if I've enjoyed it. It's just utterly draining. One of my children is the opposite of this and would socialise non stop and I just find it impossible to understand.

grapewine · 10/01/2022 15:07

Most other people drain me. I also don't want to chat or be told to smile or cheer up by strangers.

furbabymama87 · 10/01/2022 15:08

Does anyone like random strangers? I like being with my friends and family or on my own. I'm not interested in mixing with random members of the public. I find most people aren't actually very nice if you look deep enough.

DrManhattan · 10/01/2022 15:08

It's not that I cant talk to people, I just don't want to sometimes. I find it draining and don't get anything from alot of interactions.

secreteatingteen · 10/01/2022 15:09

I am an extroverted introvert (or introverted extrovert - you choose!) and so I like the people I like, but I'm not that big on new people, big gatherings or small talk type situations. I need plenty of time alone too. I don't want to go out and make new friends. I can do these things but I don't want to!

This has got 'worse' as I've got older. I just don't really care about being all chatty and super friendly anymore. I'm a grumpy old woman now! I quite like it.

RicherThanYew · 10/01/2022 15:11

The meme for me is exactly what it says on the tin, I don't like people. I'm not alone in this either, there are many people like me who just don't feel compelled to be involved in difficult social dynamics where people constantly fall out with each other, play mind games or are just wankers. I'm with a PP who prefers her home and her own company. There are exceptions to my rule but fortunately those individuals are like me and we only meet up occasionally for a few hours and it suits us fine.

Humans are constantly killing, raping, mugging, molesting, abusing, deceiving or manipulating each other and I'd rather not be part of that.

housemaus · 10/01/2022 15:11

For me it's tongue in cheek but it generally means what Alizee said - I find being around other people for an extended period exhausting.

My friends think it's funny that I describe myself as an introvert because I'm not socially awkward or shy (as the incorrect stereotypes go) and I don't have any difficulty connecting with people whatsoever.

I like seeing people, but in small doses, and after a couple of hours I generally want to be in my own space. I saw someone describe introversion/extroversion as either having your battery drained by spending time with others or having it filled. I'm the former - it's worth it for the people I love and like, but for those I'm not especially interested in (like a work networking drinks or a long weekend away with lots of people or something), it's a bit overwhelming and I find it tiring... so I might make a joke about there being too many people/not wanting to go because there's people.

I've always liked being by myself! The exception is DH, who - amongst many of his other qualities - I married because he's the only person who gives me the feeling of being 'home', and I don't get worn out by his company.

housemaus · 10/01/2022 15:12

@SuperLoudPoppingAction

I like some people. They are usually as introverted as me. And usually also autistic.

Haha, ND people definitely flock together. Most of my friends are ND and it was entirely by accident.

The nice thing is we can openly say "I've had enough socialing now, love you bye" and just leave, and nobody is remotely offended

Furrybutts · 10/01/2022 15:14

I find people exhausting. I have no desire to be around others with the exception of my adult children. Even then it has to be for short amounts of time, with sufficient time in-between for me to recouperate.
I'm happiest when alone, and I've always been this way.

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