Page 2 | People that don't like people

toopeopley · 2022-01-10T14:45:16+00:00

AIBU to ask what that is about? It's too peopley out there Not going out because I don't like people Various memes and quotes about not liking people. What does this mean, why don't you like people? Is there an element of actually wanting that connection with people but not knowing how to go about it so pushing it away?

balladofthesadcafe · 10/01/2022 15:15

I don’t hate people, I just find them overwhelming en masse. I think that’s the gist of it

BooksAndGin · 10/01/2022 15:16

People are overwhelming, everyone I get close too (bar family) end up using me to dump all their shit on or use me and I had enough of it.

I'm happy doing my own thing with my family. I just really don't like people, I'll chat if you talk to me in person but that's as far as I'll go.
It's a pretty common thing.

bingoitsadingo · 10/01/2022 15:17

Somewhat tongue in cheek for me. I like lots of people, and I love spending time with my friends, colleagues and family. I'm not antisocial.

I don't find lots of interaction with people I don't know well to be enjoyable/rewarding. I'm not bothered about small talk in shops, restaurants etc, I hated working a service job where I was interacting with clients all day.

MedusasBadHairDay · 10/01/2022 15:19

I think it's a mix.

Introverts being tongue in cheek
Counter-culture behaviour (I know it was a popular phrase within the goth community)
People who think other people are dickheads (usually it's the individual who is actually the dickhead and are just getting back what they give)

Last two often overlap IME.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/01/2022 15:19

I prefer my own company. Making small talk with people is draining. The people I like being around are those who also like quiet and don't feel the need to fill every minute I'm with them with inane chatter

Whatayear81 · 10/01/2022 15:20

I don’t relate to most on this thread in thinking that most people are actually pretty decent. Obviously my friends and family I’d think that about but actually I think the majority of people in general are pretty decent

Probably why I’m generally a pretty happy and optimistic person. Must be shit to think most people are arseholes

EssexLioness · 10/01/2022 15:21

I am autistic. I like spending time with DH and my sister and a couple of other people. Everyone else is a source of stress for me. So yes, I am another person who means it and identifies with these memes.

thepeopleversuswork · 10/01/2022 15:21

A fair bit of this is this militant introvertism which seems to have crept into modern life. I'm really over it.

I totally get that modern life can be a bit much if you're not a big fan of socialising. But I can't deal with the "I'm an introvert and I'm special" syndrome.

We know you find it draining, some of us who are further towards the extrovert/ambivert end of the scale find it draining too. Not many people really enjoy sales conferences or public speaking or marching up to strangers to ask for their phone number.

Fine to retreat from it sometimes but to some extent being able to interact in a civil fashion is the price of modern life. Sometimes its a bore and sometimes it will improve your life. Just crack on with it and then go and recharge your batteries in peace but stop with the superior "I hate people" memes. It doesn't make you more special or more intelligent its a bit of a PITA.

DynamiteFilledRadish · 10/01/2022 15:21

Randomly select 5 threads from AIBU. Read the comments and then come back and tell me people are great.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/01/2022 15:24

@DynamiteFilledRadish

Randomly select 5 threads from AIBU. Read the comments and then come back and tell me people are great.

Yes to this! There are already a couple on this thread

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 10/01/2022 15:25

For me it's mostly aboout not liking crowds. I like my people, I want to spend time with my people. It's just that Id prefer to spend time with my people in a nice quiet pub instead of one thats rammed to the rafters, or go to Alton Towers on the quietest day of the year because I don't want to be standing in queues all day. I do my Tesco shopping at 11pm for the same reason.

I suppose it's not that I don't like people, but those people that I'd dodging out of the way of walking through town aren't bringing anything to my life. They're just in the way. I'm sure that if we had a conversation then they'd be lovely, but that's not on either of our agendas right now, so we're just a nuisance to each other.

There are exceptions to this. The crowd in front of the stage are important, whether comedy or music. No, I'm not interacting directly with them, but it's a shared experience, and those strangers improve it.

The people in the queue for the roller coaster are a hinderance, because they're stopping me from getting on it. Those exact same people are vital once they're on the roller coaster with me, because everyone screaming together enhances the experience.

In short, it's not really about the people, it's about the faceless mass that is the crowd.

Zilla1 · 10/01/2022 15:25

Have you ever driven in a supermarket car park, shopped in a busy supermarket or had to deal with large numbers of a broad range of the public when they can't always get told you agree with them, they're wonderful and undoubtedly intelligent and can have what they want?

Lavender24 · 10/01/2022 15:29

For me it's that there are a lot of twats out there and I don't know who is a twat and who isn't. So I constantly feel on edge waiting for someone to be a dickhead - this has gotten worse over the past couple of years as I think a lot of people have become rude, snappy and aggressive. I'm also just very intolerant and find people and their noise irritating.

KurtWilde · 10/01/2022 15:36

I don't mind crowds, but that's because I ignore 99.9% of everyone around me. The majority of the people I've been involved with whether that's as friends or a romantic relationship turned out to be utter arseholes, so I haven't bothered with getting to know new people in a long time. I have enough drama with my exh without inviting more!

I also have ADHD and hate chit chat and small talk, and connections have always been a struggle, even since I was a kid. I tend not to engage with people when I'm out and about.

My kids are awesome, my family is small but in general pretty good (most of the time), and I have a couple of people I could turn to in a bind. That'll do me.

One day my kids will all have moved out and I'll be 60 and living on my own with zero friends, zero drama, and I'm ok with that.

Lavender24 · 10/01/2022 15:40

@thaegumathteth

I don't like small talk, I can't abide fakery and tbh I just don't enjoy being around people apart from my close family.

However, most people wouldn't know this , they think I'm friendly and outgoing.

I'm not unfriendly, I always make people feel included etc but ultimately there's
Nothing better than when you have plans to go out to some social event which is cancelled and you can stay home.

I could have written this word for word. I HATE pointless small talk. Asking after each other's families etc when clearly we don't care. And I think a lot of social events people don't even want to go in the first place so why do we do this to ourselves? Does anyone really want to visit their in laws or attend the office Christmas party or go to a shit Christening where people just want to get drunk? I've started politely but firmly declining invites to anything I don't want to attend since I had a child. My time is too precious to me now.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 10/01/2022 15:40

I've never been mad on them, I find people overwhelming. I live in a rural area and it's great. I work in the NHS and when I get home or have days off I don't want to see anyone, I don't want a relationship, I love spending time with my animals.
I have never enjoyed being with people. I can't understand people who do.
I have lovely friends, DS and DiL and relatives but am basically a hermit.
Does it matter? I'm very happy with my life and love the peace and quiet.

Momicrone · 10/01/2022 15:42

I'm a big fan of people

DGRossetti · 10/01/2022 15:43

But you hate people

But I love gatherings. Ironic isn't it ?

Whatayear81 · 10/01/2022 15:43

@Zilla1

Have you ever driven in a supermarket car park, shopped in a busy supermarket or had to deal with large numbers of a broad range of the public when they can't always get told you agree with them, they're wonderful and undoubtedly intelligent and can have what they want?

How odd I shop at supermarkets, a range, a few times a week for decades Overwhelming majority just… shopping

Whatayear81 · 10/01/2022 15:44

@Lavender24

For me it's that there are a lot of twats out there and I don't know who is a twat and who isn't. So I constantly feel on edge waiting for someone to be a dickhead - this has gotten worse over the past couple of years as I think a lot of people have become rude, snappy and aggressive. I'm also just very intolerant and find people and their noise irritating.

This sounds such an unhappy way to live

MaybeHeIsMyCat · 10/01/2022 15:45

I've worked
10 years for emergency services
2 years in retail
14 in a contact centre
I don't know how many in hospitality

That's why I don't like people. Plus I take up to 200 calls a day so the last thing I want to do when I'm not working is speak

HardbackWriter · 10/01/2022 15:47

This will go down badly because MN is absolutely full of people like this but:

People who declare (often on SM) their dislike of 'people' are attention-seeking, and trying to demonstrate their own superiority. It's the same with people who go on about how they can't stand small talk - they often seem to think that other people are just desperate to talk to them and that they're being very generous to enter into conversation that's so far below them. They also seem to think that 'not liking small talk' is a rare and interesting trait, rather than being an absolutely bog-standard, pretty dull in itself, outlook.

There are people who just quietly go about being quiet and withdrawn and that's totally different. Anyone who needs to make a fuss about hating people, or who tries to turn it into a personality, is actually very much looking for the validation of others.

chopsadoodle · 10/01/2022 15:48

I'm an introvert. And very socially awkward. I second guess everything I say, every interaction. It's exhausting. Also seem to be a little noise sensitive. Much prefer quiet solitude.

BooksAndGin · 10/01/2022 15:49

@HardbackWriter

This will go down badly because MN is absolutely full of people like this but:

People who declare (often on SM) their dislike of 'people' are attention-seeking, and trying to demonstrate their own superiority. It's the same with people who go on about how they can't stand small talk - they often seem to think that other people are just desperate to talk to them and that they're being very generous to enter into conversation that's so far below them. They also seem to think that 'not liking small talk' is a rare and interesting trait, rather than being an absolutely bog-standard, pretty dull in itself, outlook.

There are people who just quietly go about being quiet and withdrawn and that's totally different. Anyone who needs to make a fuss about hating people, or who tries to turn it into a personality, is actually very much looking for the validation of others.

This I agree with. ^^

I don't have social media because of people like that. Don't need to attention seek for not being a people person, I have never addressed it apart from this thread.

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 10/01/2022 15:50

“Whenever I tell people I'm a misanthrope they react as though that's a bad thing, the idiots. I live in London, for God's sake. Have you walked down Oxford Street recently? Misanthropy's the only thing that gets you through it. It's not a personality flaw, it's a skill.

It's nothing to do with sheer numbers. Move me to a remote cottage in the Hebrides and I'd learn to despise the postman, even if he only visited once a year. I can't abide other people, with their stink and their noise and their irritating ringtones. Bill Hicks called the human race 'a virus with shoes', and if you ask me he was being unduly hard on viruses; I'd consider a career in serial killing if the pay wasn't so bad.”
― Charlie Brooker, Screen Burn