To be pissed off with hotels always asking if we'd prefer a twin?!

[PunchyMojitos]

Hi,

DW and I go away for the odd night in a hotel. Once every 2 or 3 months I'd say. It's our litte treat and we relish the child free time 🥳 and we get to re connect a bit. Like any other couple...

Anyway, that enjoyment is usually tainted right at the beginning, 9 times out of 10 times, by being asked if we'd prefer a twin room on check in. We're not the stereotypical looking same sex couple I suppose, but still clearly a couple I would say. It's so irritating and actually quite offensive. If we wanted a twin, we'd have booked a twin.

It has even then sometimes led to staff actually asking questions like "so are you guys just friends then?" Or "are you sisters?" We look NOTHING like each other! This last time we were asked, even after we had just declined another twin, if we'd prefer separate bedding! Straight couples just get checked in. Nobody would assume they might actually just be friends or brother and sister and so offer them a twin! They would just give them the key to their room, no questions asked.

I don't think it's usually coming from a place of hate or real homophobia, but this really shouldn't be happening in 2022. We're not that unusual!

Just venting really.

@FOJN

Clarifying you've made the correct booking is a sensible step which should be applied to everyone but the follow up questions are incredibly intrusive and I'd be pissed off about that.

Yes, the receptionist could simply say "to confirm your booking is an en-suite standard double room for x nights. It's room 123 on the 4th floor - the lift is to the right." There are lots of ways communicating the nature of the room without inferring a judgment on your status.

@goutabout

I've worked in hotels and it was fairly common for 2 people who'd booked a double to actually want a twin but they hadn't realised the difference (or had misunderstood the online description) - and vice versa. So I'd usually ask was it one bed or two beds that they wanted.

Gemma Collins didn't even know what a twin room was on the Wheel the other week! She thought it had one single bed in it!

I really can't understand how so many are saying it's standard to ask any customer if they'd rather have a different room to the one they booked! Unless of course it's an upgrade.

And yes I know the choice will be on the website but some people make mistakes when booking online

No excuse. Confirming back the specific booking at reception affords the opportunity to the customer to say if they want something different without making any assumptions.

@Sparklingbrook

often people book the wrong type

How though? It's not difficult to tick the one you want, how can you get it wrong?

People make simple mistakes all the time!

Ha ha I recently went on holiday with my brother. Separate rooms - same surname. I had to keep explaining that we were siblings, not married to each other, and not only in the bedroom context. I didn't take it to heart though - I know that people's perceptions are based on probabilities.

Gemma Collins didn't even know what a twin room was on the Wheel the other week! She thought it had one single
bed in it!

Thankfully she's one of a kind. Most people know the difference.

I've found the opposite when I book a room with my best friend for a night out. Most shared rooms have queen/king beds and even after booking two separate beds, I still need to check with the hotel to make sure we are not going to be given a queen/king.

I've never been questioned whether we are friends or anything else when we check in. Frankly, nobody cares.

@treeflowercat, yes, occasionally - which is why you would confirm the customers booking details. Not offer a separate room.

I might be wrong here, but it totally and utterly sounds like their asking to have the clarification (being bossy) that you are a same sex couple rather than friends ect.

People beat around the bush when their trying to be nosey 😂

I don't think it's a big deal - we were also asked when we checked into 2 hotels recently over Xmas and NY, in spite of the fact I had booked a double on both occasions. I just confirm "Yes double please".

People make simple mistakes all the time!

When booking a hotel room and parting with considerable cash? And you get an email confirmation confirming what you have booked both the dates and the type of room? But you still get it wrong?

I always find threads like this a bit frustrating. There's such eagerness to insist that discrimination doesn't exist, it's all in the OP's head. It's gaslighting, isn't it?

THIS

Yes it happens, yes it’s irritating, yes it can cloud your weekend getaway when it happens so frequently that you start to anticipate it and your feeling of “right let’s go and check in” becomes “right let’s go and persuade the staff that yes we have booked correctly and yes we do want to sleep together”.

It might be careless rather than deliberate homophobia, but that doesn’t make it okay. Those of you rushing to say that it isn’t a problem should give your heads a wobble.

That is weird - and I guess it's annoying for you both, that it keeps happening. But they don't mean anything by it. I guess it's the same for people who have been together (unmarried) for 15+ years and everyone assumes they must be married, and the woman with Mr Jackson, must be Mrs Jackson. Most people are hetero, and this is why it's assumed you are both mates, or sisters. I doubt there is any homophobia involved.

[quote nuancedcloud]@PunchyMojitos now I’m wondering if it’s just me and my OH then! Been hotelling together for 20 years and we are often asked and I always wonder why they ask or seem to confirm the bed arrangement when you arrive! And get that momentary angst that we’ll have to sleep in separate beds ! before the receptionist says they’ve definitely got a double bed…

We are an age difference couple but it’s only 10 years so not like a parent / child age difference.

I’m sorry if anyone thought I was gaslighting.
It probably does happen to you more than the average het couple (though clearly not us!) and I’m sure it’s extra frustrating![/quote]
I didn't mean people saying it'd happened to them as straight couples were gaslighting (they're just giving information). I meant the people telling the OP she's wrong to imagine it's anything more than a coincidence it happens to her so much.

I had it once; booked a room at a well known chain but they had had a burst pipe so when we arrived, had to relocate us to a different branch a few miles away.

It wasn’t any bother but we had arrived quite late as it was, we were travelling up to check out an area to potentially move to and had come after work, so the receptionist at the new hotel was very apologetic and then exclaimed ‘OH AND THEY’VE PUT YOU IN A DOUBLE YOU POOR LOVES’

I thought it was hilarious but I can imagine it will get wearing if it happens frequently.

well I am hetrosexual and marrried...
I get asked this almost all the time at check in and more than once having booked a double (not twin) online and turned up to see it's twin configuration.

Hotels arent always going to get it right...
They cant go around assuming every same sex booking is a gay married couple who want twins as much as they cant go around assuming everyone wants two twin beds (a la 1960s Margo & Jerry "no sex please we're british")

so...
YABU if it's just confirming bed configuration
YANBU if it's all smirky looks and side eyes with winks and nudges....

A neutral "we have you booked into a room with one double bed/two twin beds for three nights with breakfast, is that correct?" asked to everyone who checks in is appropriate because people/systems absolutely do make mistakes. IME most hotels do say that to straight couples.

Repeatedly pushing back to gay/lesbian couples with "would you prefer a twin?" or similar is not OK, and the hotel industry needs to train its staff to give everyone one chance to confirm the booking and correct any error and then STFU.

Book online and make your bed request part of the booking.

It seems like the reverse of going somewhere with a male friend and getting cosy romantic spots in restaurants and double beds in hotels.

Just because I trust a man not to sexually assault me (that is such a low bar), that does not mean I'm in a relationship with him.

YANBU.

My Wife and I get this every single time! Winds me up no end! To the posters saying “how could you be offended” are you asked that question on EVERY SINGLE trip you take?

Hotel booking sites are only "requests" anyway. Most will have a clause in their T&Cs to not guarantee any particular type of room.

We've certainly had a few cases where the rooms given havn't matched the booking we made.

Certainly with bigger hotel chains, their room booking systems aren't actually booking specific rooms for specific dates when you book online - they're working with estimated numbers of bookings per night based on prior experience/history etc. Actual room allocations are often done on the day itself. Many times, we've booked twin rooms only to be allocated doubles upon arrival as that's all that was available when the allocations were done that morning. Then when we tell them we've booked twins, they sometimes swap with another booking who hasn't arrived, or swap a day or two later when twins become available. It's a very fluid and changeable situation. Reception staff probably won't see the actual booking request, they'll just see what the back office staff have allocated.

You'd be amazed at how many people mistakenly book a double room instead of a twin, and then ask for a twin or complain! It's probably just second nature to ask now.

@JinglingHellsBells of course the OP makes the double bed known on the reservation. As do I every time, the same question is asked, often “oh you’ve booked a double room but you meant to book a twin didn’t you?!” . This isn’t ok.

@treeflowercat yeah but that's Gemma Collins

I used to be surprised by the number of people who don't know the difference between a double and a twin, although fair enough if their English isn't great. It doesn't help if some hotel websites or Booking have pictures of a generic room which doesn't match the choice. Eg it shows a twin but you can choose a double on the booking.

I've been asked / checked whether me and my partner (different race) wanted separate rooms (not in the UK). FFS