To cringe at use of "partner"?

[Baggingarea]

Obviously not if you have kids or a house with someone.

But I always deep cringe when someone prematurely refers to their boyfriend as a "partner". It's normally young people trying to feel grown up I guess?

I am prepared to hear I'm being judgemental but I physically cringe - not much I can do about that!

Inspired by another thread!

I think I know the thread you're on about!

I hate "partner" I've always called my husband my husband or boyfriend or fiance. But loads of people hate that too! I just hate partner. It sounds so mundane and bleh and trying to mature a relationship or themselves.

YANBU

A partner (purely imo) describes someone with whom you have ties to, other than just dating.

Partner is a great neutral term to use - I used it loads before marriage! We're partners 🤷🏻‍♀️ why not call it what it is!

I also use it at work, we were told it's a great way to make conversations inclusive so people who aren't in straight relationships don't feel like they have to "out" themselves by saying bf / gf / husband / wife, but if more people use partner it makes it easier.

I think partner is fine,why shoupd someone have to define their relationships to a atranger (partner covers it all?) It is often used by people in same sex relationships too

I know a pompous 17 year old, who lives at home with her parents, and refers to her boyfriend, who lives at home with his parents, as her partner. She's being very unreasonable.

For me as a gay woman its ideal as its gender neutral, and allows me to avoid gendered options in an unsure situation. Its the only gender neutral non twee one I can think of

I dislike boyfriend/ girlfriend it makes me sound about 15, we've been together for 10 years and it sounds like a short term thing. Not married so wife/husband doesn't work

Fiance, other half etc are a bit twee. Other half, second half comes into a lot of criticism here

Ive never heard Spouse used outside of legal terms

From the other side, I always refer to my DW as my partner, despite being married for ten years, and people assume we're not married. Must try and change my vocabulary!

Hmmm I've honestly never heard anyone using 'partner' unless they've actually been together a long time, living together and / or with children, but I wouldnt see a problem with it. I do find the opposite a bit cringe though e.g. using 'boyfriend/girlfriend' when you're grown adults in a mature relationship living together etc.

Before we got married I called DH my "partner" we had been together 5+ years and were committed, calling him a boyfriend felt rather juvenile, but obviously he wasn't a husband yet. It's very normal, perhaps more so with young people as they don't get married as young as they used to and simply stay in committed relationships longer.

I met my partner in my late 20s and never really called him my boyfriend... Boyfriend didn't sound right when I'd try to say it. It really wasn't much deeper than that. How other people would categorise my relationship isn't important to me.

These all sounds like long term relationships and just to be clear that does not make me cringe in the slightest!

Yes... I only started referring to OH as partner when we'd probably been living together 5 years!

Calling someone a partner you've been seeing for less than a year (my imposed minimum ) and living with.. Is a boyfriend.

Had this continually in child protection.. Learnt my lesson well there... ...
So your partner.... How long have you been together? .. 5 weeks, 3 days....
And your child is calling them 'daddy'? and more importantly involved in their life... Nope, not good.

My acquaintance... 'Well me and my partner have split... It's been awful...lots of tears...
Lots of sympa noises from the assembled...
Turns out it's someone they've been seeing for less than a couple of months....why the l drama? All that's happened is that they've stopped seeing this bloke who is a knob...

In my mind... Someone who would only just reach boyfriend status!

To me, partner suggests sharing life /money/future dreams...

Boyfriend - someone you hang out with /go to flicks /get jiggy with.. Not necessarily permanent

@Baggingarea

These all sounds like long term relationships and just to be clear that does not make me cringe in the slightest!

but the term represents how someone views a relationship, who are you to decide if someone else feels committed enough to use the term?

I would argue we are partners in life and that's an accurate term

As a side note:

The gay Community has a higher use due to the gender neutralness but also as a hangover from civil partnerships.

The use of language is interesting because when gay marriage was debated there was a lot of debate that what difference does the language of wife vs partner have.

These threads often show why civil partnerships were viewed as less than marriage.
They often end in people saying "he's my husband" and getting annoyed at them being referred to as a partner. People get very annoyed if their husband wife is called a partner but the whole debates tried to gaslight the lgbt community into saying it was the same thing

I use it but I don’t really like it. Thing is we are in our 50s, been together 5 years, live together but not married. Boyfriend just sounds too young (though he does refer to me as his girlfriend which I quite like). I’d love to hear suggestions for an alternative - I can only think of significant other which is worse!

I say partner because, as a divorced mum of 5, "boyfriend" sounds fucking ridiculous 🤷‍♀️

Calling someone a partner you've been seeing for less than a year (my imposed minimum ) and living with.. Is a boyfriend.

I know two couples who got engaged after 10 months and are now happily married. But by your 'rules' they wouldn't have yet reached the appropriate point to call each other 'partners' until 2 months into engagement?

@IamtheDevilsAvocado well said!

I've always cringed at the term 'boyfriend'

It was always "the guy I'm seeing"

And only became my partner, at a pinch, after kids.

I'm married now, but when my husband and I first got together we referred to each other as partner practically from the start. We were well into our 30's and so boyfriend and girlfriend felt too juvenile.

I don't understand why it upsets so many people on here. It's up to the people in the relationship to define their relationship, not strangers in the internet.

Some people don’t have the luxury of being able to use the words boyfriend/girlfriend and being treated fairly at work etc, some people can’t remain safe if they use those words rather than partner.

YANBU my partner was the man I had children, a house and long term financial ties with.

My friend calls whoever she is dating her partner once they start sleeping together.

I know it shouldn’t annoy me but surely it’s time we had another term for mature daters. I also cringe when referring to my 45 year old “boyfriend”.

I am old and old-fashioned, but a "partner" to me is someone you have a business relationship with. I can just about tolerate it these days for single-sex couples, but find it twee and confusing for heterosexual couples. Nothing wrong with wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend.
I don't think I am alone, though.
Generally, if not talking to people who know me well, I will use boyfriend's name.
However, recently, I was talking to a colleague about something and referred to my car, by "her" name, and was a bit bemused when he asked me if that was my "partner". I think he was somewhat embarrassed (at his assumption) when I said "good grief, no, that's my car."