To think it's unacceptable to sleep till 12.30 pm when you have a child?

[flowersinherhairinjune]

My daughter is 8 - she goes to her dads every second weekend and once in the week every second week.

I'm just off FaceTime to her and her dad was still sleeping! She said she got up at 9 am and made her own breakfast and that her dad has been in bed saying '10 more minutes' since then.

It's now 12.30 pm, she is dressed, hair and teeth brushed and he's still lying in his bed. This has happened before but only till about 11 am, never the middle of the afternoon. Daughter doesn't seem too bothered.

Granted over the Christmas holidays there was a few times when I said 'okay I've left breakfast stuff out, help yourself so I can have a little lie in' but that was till around 10 am tops and that was after a busy festive period.

AIBU to think it is unacceptable to be sleeping till that time when he has his daughter? Maybe I'm being sensitive so I want to be sure before I say anything to him. I could understand more if he had her full time but surely on the days you have your child you'd want to spend time with her rather than sleeping?

Must say, it's nothing to do with alcohol or drugs, he doesn't drink or take drugs.

@TheCatShatInTheHat

You have no say or control of what he does when he has his daughter.

Of course she does when the poor kid is being left unsupervised for nearly 4 hours! Would you leave an 8yr old home alone for 4 hours? (or at all?!) No! How is this any different? He can't prevent a fire, he wouldn't know if she fell & knocked herself out etc etc etc

@Lipity

All those saying “go get her, it’s not acceptable”

It’s literally nothing to do with the mum. Nothing. DD is in no harm, she’s fed and washed, what her dad does or doesn’t do whilst they are together is nobody’s business but theirs.

Some of you don’t co-parent and it shows

Would you leave an 8yr old alone for almost 4 hours? It's no different than being home alone!

Jeez maybe he had a late night maybe he's not been sleeping well, maybe he's unwell. It's ridiculous that you're asking a bunch of strangers their theories who don't know the circumstances. Who cares poor dude

It is really none of your business what another adult does in their own home. It seems a little like you are spying on him by facetiming when she is at his house, why? Leave them be unless something dangerous is going on.

You got her to TEXT YOU WHAT TIME HE GOT UP?! Wow, that is so nosy and controlling. It is zero of your business what they do together. Stop incessantly messaging your daughter and spying on your ex!!

@tae19

It is really none of your business what another adult does in their own home. It seems a little like you are spying on him by facetiming when she is at his house, why? Leave them be unless something dangerous is going on.

I know at the daughter’s age, I would have felt very bored and fed up being left all those hours alone. It’s not beyond the realm of possibility that the daughter asked to FaceTime her to get some stimulation and interaction. I can’t imagine another scenario where it would be ok to leave a child alone in a room, awake, for all those hours.

Now you say he took her egging?
He is 100% in a depressive state, sleeping and now releasing some tension. Do not question him, don't ask your daughter to question him. He clearly needs support he's definitely going through something, like my previous post mentioned there a number of reasons someone will sleep in

@tae19

It is really none of your business what another adult does in their own home. It seems a little like you are spying on him by facetiming when she is at his house, why? Leave them be unless something dangerous is going on.

It is when a child is involved, I'm sure OP couldn't give two hoots what time he stays in bed until if their daughter isn't there.

I think the egging is far more worrying that the lie in!