To think Molly Mae is getting shit because she’s a woman?

[BlisterConcern]

Yes, the comments are ignorant and naive. But I think people are going way too far with the abuse. I’ve seen many posts on social media (mainly from men) complaining about her comments and they have intentionally tagged really unflattering photos of her (like midway through talking) to the post where they go on like she’s the devil incarnate.

Many, many male celebrities have preached the same stuff. I have teen DD’s and DSD’s who all have male celebrities they are fans of and I’ve heard of these celebrities saying the same stuff. That if you work hard and “hustle” you will succeed.

There’s also lots of self-help Instagram accounts that preach the same stuff. These accounts are popular with young lads and are ran by men and seem to be aimed at men. Often they focus on cars and how you can have your dream car just like the guy behind the account if you follow his advice, buy his breathing technique course and work hard bla bla bla. These people don’t seem to get crucified the way Molly Mae has done.

Also a lot of male rappers who are popular these days such as Aitch make it their whole brand to show off about how they are successful because they took a chance and work hard bla bla bla. Aitch is a rapper from a very rough area of Manchester who got a lucky break. Molly Mae is more middle class but she went to a comp school and wasn’t outrageously wealthy. She just wasn’t on the breadline, why should she apologise for that? One of Aitch’s song lyrics is “I’ve got your boyfriend’s monthly wage in my jeans.” (DD loves the song). Nobody has ever come after him for that.

It seems to me that:

A man from a non-celeb average background gets a lucky break and becomes famous and rich and tries to inspire his fans to work hard and do the same = amazing and down to earth and inspiring

A woman from a non-celeb average background gets a lucky break and becomes rich and famous and tries to inspire her fans to work hard and do the same = a silly thick little cow who is only good for her looks and should keep her mouth shut and know her place.

I honestly believe if her boyfriend had made the same comments nobody would have batted an eyelid.

Marcus Rashford has made a tangible difference to people’s lives. He’s also known world wide

MM hasn’t and isn’t… so they aren’t comparable

I have Endo and had no idea that MM had it but that doesn’t mean she can get away with being thoughtless.

The thing is this is the equivalent of Rashford saying "I grew up poor and on free school meals, if I can get rich anyone can." Which is the literal opposite of his ethos that there are people in this country who need help and should not be vilified by the likes of Priti Patel for it.

When are we going to hit the peak of social "influencers" actually having any influence on anyone? Once the young generation are all doing it, who's going to actually care?

It's all a heap of shit anyway.

I think she's getting shit because she's demonstrated very publicly how entitled, deluded and unpleasant her personality is.

For someone that has up to now relied on looks she has forgotten that you do at some point need a reasonable personality and attitude too.

Buying a dog from a puppy farm and then neglecting it until its death sealed the deal for me. She's a vacuous airhead who only does things to look good for Instagram, regardless of the human or animal cost.

I don't think MM's PR "response" is as helpful as they probably thought it would be either - it's still basically saying "I did all this and got this far so other people could too if they had the same determination and work ethic".

"Molly-Mae has since hit back at the criticism, with a statement sent by her representatives saying: ‘Molly did a podcast interview in December about her own rise to success. If you listen to the full conversation and interview Molly was asked about how the nature of her potential grows and how she believes in herself. This part of the interview was discussing time efficiency relating to success.

‘Molly refers to a quote which says “We all have the same 24 hours in a day as Beyonce”. She was discussing her own experience and how she can resonate with this specific quote.

‘Her opinion on if you want something enough you can work hard to achieve it is how she keeps determined with her own work to achieve more in her own life. Molly is not commenting on anyone else’s life or personal situation she can only speak of her own experience.

‘She acknowledges that everyone is raised in different ways and from different backgrounds but her comments here are in reference to timing, hard work and determination in her own life. If you listen to this interview you can see the whole conversation was about her own personal circumstances, how she has grown up and this small clip in the conversation was talking about a quote that inspires her.

‘Social media users have shared a short snippet from this interview with words such as “if you are homeless buy a house” and “if you are poor be poor” these are absolutely not Molly’s words, these are not Molly’s thoughts and this isn’t at all the meaning or thought behind that conversation.’ "

From here metro.co.uk/2022/01/08/molly-mae-how-toxic-productivity-shaming-and-hustle-culture-harms-our-wellbeing-15881608/

I have remembered I should follow doctor Alex on Instagram. A love islander who actually is working hard and doing good stuff with his fame.

I thought her comments were because people assume that her ilk sit around doing nothing without understanding the hard work that goes into promotion, marketing and even photo shoots. I am blunt and straight forward too though. It often gets me in trouble- it seems that people need everything sugar coated. There are lots of ex Love Island contestants but they aren’t all on the sidebar of the Daily Mail- that takes work.

She thinks she's 'worked hard' because she's comparing herself to her (pretty, wealthy, able bodied) peers who have not done the same 'hard work' she has. Someone working in a minimum wage job, barely able to cover the rent on their bedsit, will look at Molly Mae and think 'no you haven't. I work hard'. But someone else living in poverty, no running water, no electricity, would look at that second person and also think 'no you don't. I work hard'.' It's all relative.

You're focusing on the wrong feminist issue here. Blonde, white, middle-class and she's the most (or one of the most) successful contestants from Love Island - this hasn't happened because she's "worked her arse off". Ask yourself why other contestants haven't found the same level of popularity following the show. Her comment stings because she's completely ignorant to her privilege.
If you do follow her on social media, you'll see she's regularly on holiday, sleeping until midday and watching Harry Potter over and over again.
At least rappers and footballers have worked hard to gain success and presumably have an actual talent.

All of the examples you used are people who actually DID get where they are from hard work. The accounts you talk about actually encourage real work. While it's a simplistic and naive message, rappers etc have talent and hustled to where they are. Molly Mae did not, she got on a TV show based on her looks, got handed a high paying job she's not really qualified for that exploits other people to make her money, then lectured other people that they could work hard 'like her'. It's the last part people have a problem with. The message that hard work equals success isn't really that true anymore but it isn't the problem, the problem is that Molly Mae didn't do any work to get where she is, it was handed to her on the back of other people's work, THAT is what people have a problem with.

Sexism is rife. But someone like Molly cannot use her femininity as a cover for what is essentially bollox.

///

And as an extension, feminism cannot be used as a cover for this either.

I hope my DD can become an adult successful doing something she loves. She will also be under no illusion of what real hard work looks and feels like. She knows at times her DGD (my lovely DF) often worked 3 jobs to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. That is an example of using 24 hours to their max.

Once upon a time, MMs 'hard work' would have been described very differently.

I think influencers do work hard, and I’m sure Molly Mae has worked extremely hard to get to where she is. And “hustle” to reach your goals is good advice. However, it is naive to think that if 1,000 had done the exact same hard work as MM that they would have had the same outcome. It’s naive to think that everyone has the same time, resources and privilege to be able to replicate MM’s hard work.

I don’t think the backlash is about the advice to work hard towards your goals. It’s about the message that everyone could have had MM’s success if only they’d worked as hard as she did. It’s not true, there will be people who’ve worked just as hard or even harder for much less success, and they shouldn’t be blamed for that. She should acknowledge her luck and privilege, but she’s only young - she probably hasn’t realised those factors were in play yet.

[quote BlisterConcern]@bcc89.

She helps my teenage daughter not feel embarrassed by her condition. Initially her doctor laughed at her when she first started having symptoms and said she was too young to have it.

It is enough for me.
There’s endometriosis charities then there are also other ways of representing it. Seeing somebody live a good life and talk about the condition they have and making a teenager suffering greatly with the condition feel less weird and alienated.[/quote]
So you like her because she has the same condition as you and spoke about it?

@bloodyhoodedeyes

She's done more for endometriosis sufferers in her last 2 years than the government has ever done, raising awareness in young women.

Hope she can rise above the sexist backlash.

That's a very low bar though

Nope because if a man who lived a similar 'non-job' lifestyle to her made similar statements, with similar conviction, the social media meme pages would tear them apart too. Zero acknowledgement of pretty privilege, cosmetic enhancements, pure luck (when she started YouTubing there was a chance she never would have really taken off - just like 1000s of other teen girls who try to do it) and nepotism (scouted for love Island, some connection/crossing of paths in the past with one of the team I'd imagine)

Any replies suggesting being an influencer/model/YouTuber is 'hard work' will be ignored. Not going to debate you.

Priya from Love Island recently posted something similar on her Instagram. She was running a 10k at 3am and posted that everybody has the same hours in the day and there was no excuse not to exercise, it was an excuse to say you didn’t have time.

She presumably got comments complaining so followed up with telling people to get lost and do some exercise basically. All quite sad for somebody who is training to be a doctor and positioned themselves as giving advice.

Hahahah. I always love those ‘we all have 24 hours in a day’ from people who don’t achieve what most people I know achieve in 24 hours.

I work in an ICU though. Most people who say they ‘work their arse off’ wouldn’t last ten minutes here.

Want to work your arse off? Come and be a cleaner in an ICU during a pandemic.

I don't think Priya is wrong though - if exercise is a priority for you, you'll find time (whenever that may be), and if it's not a priority then you'll find excuses.

That really is the same for most things - sadly I prioritise Mumsnetting to exercising, so it's very easy to see why I'm not in the same shape as Priya!

depends, is her boyfriend middle class?

Its about him growing up in a rough estate, most likely poverty.
She said her dad let her live rent free and gave her a start up. She didn't have to work hard.

For comparison, when me and DH moved out to become teen parents, we supported both of our parents by lending them money. Molly mae was given money and allowed to live rent and bill free to work on her career (which is something that I strongly disagree with. Fast fashion is disgusting and she has become a millionaire on the backs of slave (i don't care if they are paid its not enough to live on and mothers have had to give up their children) labour and excessive waste)

Not to mention she went on love island. I couldn't go on love island, I'd need to have money to fix my wonky teeth and get my jaw fixed before I was pretty enough to do that.

A rapper coming from a rough estate in Manchester is inspirational. He got out of the gutter.
Just like Eminem, he sings about how hard it was when he was a child living in a trailer park, getting sucked into drugs and gangs and guns. Getting his house broken into and drive by shootings when he and os girlfriend were trying to raise their daughter.

Almost everyone I know has had to give their wage to their parents when they started work. Or forgo college or university to help look after younger siblings/ older relatives because childcare and care for elderly or disabled is too expensive. Bright House or pay weekly stores. Driving without a licence because tests and lessons cost money and then there is tax and insurance. Almost all of mine and DHs family either take or sell drugs! FFS for rent. They do it for a few weeks, save up a few grand and use that for rent for a few months and then when needs must they do it again.

She doesn't get that. She doesn't get what its like having to use your savings to get out of poverty to pay your parents rent. or finding out that you can't get Sky when you moved out because your parents already have taken it out in your name and ran up a massive bill and been cut off so that your sister has Internet at home for school homework.
fuck molly fucking mae

@MissTrip82

Hahahah. I always love those ‘we all have 24 hours in a day’ from people who don’t achieve what most people I know achieve in 24 hours.

I work in an ICU though. Most people who say they ‘work their arse off’ wouldn’t last ten minutes here.

Want to work your arse off? Come and be a cleaner in an ICU during a pandemic.

I don't think the uniform, dreadful lighting, working apparatus and poorly people in the background look as appealing on IG unfortunately.

I find the latest craze of “getting money” to be really distasteful, crass, shallow and conversely, cheap. It’s a rotten way to live your life, entirely to get money.

I class her in all this now where as I didn’t previously.

And obvs what she said was utter bollox. My poverty ridden cousin spends her 24 hours driving around to collect all her children from various friends she’s had to leave them with so that she can earn minimum wage. My disabled aunt spends her 24 hours in a wheelchair coping with her pain. Getting money isn’t always the road to happiness and young people need to hear that.

I agree with you kind of. I think people are just using her more however as an opportunity to make mysgonistic comments and thinking it's ok. There are mysgonistic comments coming out like from Twitter, "she got famous from shagging on love island" If she was a man and had said that, and had been on love island I don't think that her time on love island would be spoken about like that, (like so sexually) if you see what I mean?

She also worked at boots as a customer service advisor in her teens so she probably nows what it's like to work in retail as well (as lots say she has no idea what work is like) , and she has suffered health problems like endo and had a mold removed for skin cancer, both of which she raised awareness for.

I still think her comments were v tone deaf lol

@LampLighter414

Nope because if a man who lived a similar 'non-job' lifestyle to her made similar statements, with similar conviction, the social media meme pages would tear them apart too. Zero acknowledgement of pretty privilege, cosmetic enhancements, pure luck (when she started YouTubing there was a chance she never would have really taken off - just like 1000s of other teen girls who try to do it) and nepotism (scouted for love Island, some connection/crossing of paths in the past with one of the team I'd imagine)

Any replies suggesting being an influencer/model/YouTuber is 'hard work' will be ignored. Not going to debate you.

Lots of the male equivalents (Ie Geordi shore stars) often just acknowledge they are very lucky to have this life. Which seems fair enough.