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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think Molly Mae is getting shit because she’s a woman?

281 replies

BlisterConcern · 09/01/2022 06:35

Yes, the comments are ignorant and naive. But I think people are going way too far with the abuse. I’ve seen many posts on social media (mainly from men) complaining about her comments and they have intentionally tagged really unflattering photos of her (like midway through talking) to the post where they go on like she’s the devil incarnate.

Many, many male celebrities have preached the same stuff. I have teen DD’s and DSD’s who all have male celebrities they are fans of and I’ve heard of these celebrities saying the same stuff. That if you work hard and “hustle” you will succeed.

There’s also lots of self-help Instagram accounts that preach the same stuff. These accounts are popular with young lads and are ran by men and seem to be aimed at men. Often they focus on cars and how you can have your dream car just like the guy behind the account if you follow his advice, buy his breathing technique course and work hard bla bla bla. These people don’t seem to get crucified the way Molly Mae has done.

Also a lot of male rappers who are popular these days such as Aitch make it their whole brand to show off about how they are successful because they took a chance and work hard bla bla bla. Aitch is a rapper from a very rough area of Manchester who got a lucky break. Molly Mae is more middle class but she went to a comp school and wasn’t outrageously wealthy. She just wasn’t on the breadline, why should she apologise for that? One of Aitch’s song lyrics is “I’ve got your boyfriend’s monthly wage in my jeans.” (DD loves the song). Nobody has ever come after him for that.

It seems to me that:

A man from a non-celeb average background gets a lucky break and becomes famous and rich and tries to inspire his fans to work hard and do the same = amazing and down to earth and inspiring

A woman from a non-celeb average background gets a lucky break and becomes rich and famous and tries to inspire her fans to work hard and do the same = a silly thick little cow who is only good for her looks and should keep her mouth shut and know her place.

I honestly believe if her boyfriend had made the same comments nobody would have batted an eyelid.

OP posts:

Pugroll · 09/01/2022 08:26

Ah yes her endo- someone asked her any tips for coping with it, 'get surgery'. I'm sure the 15 year old has now saved a few quid to follow that inspirational advice from someone out of touch with reality. Rather than release a monetised youtube video talking of her experience, wouldn't it have been nice if she had used her clout to raise awareness in a meaningful way, perhaps a petition to make the government implement a treatment plan etc? And yes her job is an influencer so although it's not her responsibility to, wouldn't it be nice?

bcc89 · 09/01/2022 08:29

@Pugroll

This.

'Raising awareness' makes my blood boil a bit. People think a quick video online of them saying they are struggling with an illness is really helping raise funds for better care, better treatment, better opinions for sufferers.

secular39 · 09/01/2022 08:29

Just seen a picture of Molly-Mae- why do all of these girls look like they are 30+ when they are in their very young 20's. They really do not need all of that makeup and mature dressing.

TruffleShuffles · 09/01/2022 08:31

@gobbledygoook

I completely agree!

To people who think what she does isn't hard work, I think they only think that way because it isn't a job they recognise as hard work! Tbh being an influencer isn't an easy job, I think because people don't think she's getting her hands dirty / isn't qualified in anything to do the job, that it's easy and not real. Brands and influencers spend months planning and strategising campaigns, working on contracts in the background, shooting content, staying relevant by posting multiple times a day on topics, filming and editing videos etc. Just because she's not pulling 12 hour shifts in a warehouse doesn't mean it isn't hard work 🤷🏻‍♀️ (disclaimer I am not an influencer 😂)

People love to shit on successful people! I think her comments are no different from what a lot of people believe, it's nothing rude or revolutionary, but if that way of thinking motivates her and helps her work well, why not? There's entire books on that way of thinking!

You do realise she does hardly any of what you’ve listed? She had a manger in place before she even entered love island, that’s the person who does all the contract and brand negotiations, Molly Mae is literally just the face.

HumunaHey · 09/01/2022 08:31

You bending over backwards to defend the likes of Molly Mae is why many women today turn their back on feminism.

Good on her for getting into the position she's in, but why are you trying so hard to defend her ridiculous attitude and several tone deaf comments? Her being a woman shouldn't protect her from criticism with whatabouttery.

Plus you're comparing apples to oranges when you're specifically talking about hard work and comparing her to Tyson Fury, Tupac and Aitch.

Original poster

BlisterConcern · 09/01/2022 08:32

@Pugroll

The only way endo can even be diagnosed is surgery though. There literally isn’t treatment for it other than surgery. So it’s not inaccurate advice in itself.

OP posts:

CarpyDiem · 09/01/2022 08:32

I think it would have been very much the same reaction if it had been Tommy doing the interview.

It's because they came to attention for being on LI, and haven't done much since other than being 'influencers'

Without a track record of actually dong something (other than being famous for your looks) neither he nor she is going to be taken particuiarly seriously

But that's the move they need to make next, as they must have one eye on longevity - careers based on being handsome/pretty don't last, and he never boxed as well as his brother (though I dare say there will always be an entourage job for him, if he wants one)

Restart10 · 09/01/2022 08:33

She's not getting shit because she's a woman, she's getting shit because she's a prick.

This. She just needs to go away now.

LuckyMeISeeGhosts · 09/01/2022 08:33

@Restart10

She's not getting shit because she's a woman, she's getting shit because she's a prick.

This. She just needs to go away now.

As do all of these 'influencers'.

Original poster

BlisterConcern · 09/01/2022 08:35

@bcc89

OP posts:

Kitchenmaid · 09/01/2022 08:36

Workers in the PLT factory earn £3.50 an hour apparently (in the UK) www.thetimes.co.uk/article/boohoo-fashion-giant-faces-slavery-investigation-57s3hxcth

Be nice if she did something about that or resign in protest. I'm sure a hard worker like her can find something else to replace the income.

easyluckyfree · 09/01/2022 08:36

She’s the creative director of a company which pays its workers £3.50 an hour and she has the fucking nerve to say “we have the same 24 hours in a day”.

Pugroll · 09/01/2022 08:39

[quote BlisterConcern]@Pugroll

The only way endo can even be diagnosed is surgery though. There literally isn’t treatment for it other than surgery. So it’s not inaccurate advice in itself.

I’m sure she probably had her surgery private and hasn’t had to wait on the years long NHS waiting list, but the advice isn’t wrong. I would encourage any young girl suffering with endo to push their doctors for proper treatment and surgery if necessary.[/quote]
Of course she went private without a doubt. Still not sure how it's useful advice, its as useful as the rest of her advice though- if you're homeless just buy a house, if you're poor just work harder, if you're struggling with a condition doctors seldom recognise and never take seriously just get surgery.

Tee20x · 09/01/2022 08:39

No she's getting shit because while everyone does have the same time frame of 24 hours in a day...not everyone has the same starting place.

That's like saying oh everyone can complete a marathon if given the same amount of time not understanding that people may have illnesses/disabilities that may make this harder or even impossible.

To be a young able bodied white woman and talk about everyone having the same 24 hours in my view is just tone deaf and ignorant. Of course you can say stuff like that but at least acknowledge it also depends on your starting block and life circumstances.

ImInStealthMode · 09/01/2022 08:39

I agree OP. She's young and clearly very naive. Nothing she said was malicious or nasty, just stupid but she's a) being taken wildly out of context and b) being vilified in the most vile ways.

The '24 hours' comment for example wasn't even hers, she was referring to a quote about Beyoncé that I can first find referenced back in 2015.

As for 'working her arse off' : well in comparison to her fellow Love Islanders she's taken the same opportunities offered to all of them and done extremely well for herself so no wonder her perception is that she's working hard and doing well.

The abuse she's getting is wildly out of proportion to what she said (and often from people with #BeKind in their profile ironically) and I'm genuinely worried that we'll see another tragedy of a young woman in the media hounded to harming herself if it doesn't stop.

Cornisharchitect · 09/01/2022 08:41

I don’t think it’s because she’s a woman. I think what she said was thoughtless, offensive to some, stupid and immature.

She needs educating and she needs to grow up quickly. Life can’t be much fun when you’re an adult struggling with the concept of adulthood…

Good luck to her moving forwards

Original poster

BlisterConcern · 09/01/2022 08:43

@ImInStealthMode

Agreed.

If she had said “There’s no excuse for being poor. I have 24 hours in a day and look at me. You just have to do the same.” Then fair enough.

But she didn’t. And she didn’t say “If you’re homeless just buy a house.” or “Just don’t be poor.” despite people on social media blatantly lying and saying she did.

It was generic advice about finding yourself a goal and working towards it, putting time towards it.

OP posts:

easyluckyfree · 09/01/2022 08:46

But OP, can you not see how incredibly hypocritical and out of order it is of her to say this when the success she speaks of is at least in part because of the labour of marginalised women?

Or does feminism only apply to rich white women?

Pugroll · 09/01/2022 08:46

@ImInStealthMode

I agree OP. She's young and clearly very naive. Nothing she said was malicious or nasty, just stupid but she's a) being taken wildly out of context and b) being vilified in the most vile ways.

The '24 hours' comment for example wasn't even hers, she was referring to a quote about Beyoncé that I can first find referenced back in 2015.

#bekind shouldn't mean #nevertakeanyaccountability. She's had backlash for saying the same thing before and was arrogant and ignorant enough to say it again and then is surprised she has received backlash for it?!

alphabetsoup1980 · 09/01/2022 08:46

I've seen more stupid comments on here by people hiding behind their computer screens. Yes, she said something completely tone deaf....to be hounded in this was is also stupid though. I bet if she took her own life as a result, noone would realise that its the collective result of keyboard warriors gunning for her.

TheFairyCaravan · 09/01/2022 08:47

She’s an utter dickhead.

In 24hr day, when DS2 was at university, he’d do a 12hr placement on a hospital ward then have a quick shower and pull a shift in Wetherspoons until the early hours just so he could pay the bills. Obviously he didn’t do that everyday, however he did it on a lot of Fridays.

Now he’s a 25yo charge nurse, his girlfriend is a 26yo deputy sister. They own their own house and have a lovely life. Obviously they don’t have a life anywhere near like these “influencers” have but they’re the type of people who’ve worked their arses off to get where they are, not Molly-Mae and her ilk.

It’s about time this influencer and YouTube career lark is cancelled imo.

Original poster

BlisterConcern · 09/01/2022 08:48

It’s that generic, shallow self-help advice that is popular at the moment. People are twisting it to be malicious and implying she meant it as a put-down. It’s quite obvious to me it was a misguided attempt to be inspirational.

Comparing her to Margaret fucking Thatcher ffs

OP posts:

Bringinglightandpeace · 09/01/2022 08:48

if you're homeless just buy a house

Ha! Did she really say that?

Original poster

BlisterConcern · 09/01/2022 08:50

@alphabetsoup1980.

Oh yes, the very same people ripping her to shreds on Twitter right now would be going on about #bekind and becoming the epitome of the shallow social media culture they hate Molly Mae for currently.

OP posts:

bcc89 · 09/01/2022 08:50

[quote BlisterConcern]@bcc89

If you’re a teenage girl struggling with your health condition and perhaps even being embarrassed and/or ashamed of it, can you not see how somebody speaking about it can help? Sometimes it’s as simple as being able to say “I relate to what is being said here.”[/quote]
I personally raise awareness for a specific health condition I have (not naming names) by donating my time (working for free around my paid job) as a board member of the UK charity of the health condition, part running the social media for the charity, doing public talking events about the illness, campaigning for better treatments, being one of the key 'faces' of this illness online, to show people that I can RELATE and BE THERE but also I'm actually being useful with my position. So yes, I can understand that.

I'm glad Molly helps you by just saying she has the health condition, I'm glad that is enough for you personally. What a hard worker she is in that area (that you brought up, not anyone else)

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