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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think Molly Mae is getting shit because she’s a woman?

281 replies

BlisterConcern · 09/01/2022 06:35

Yes, the comments are ignorant and naive. But I think people are going way too far with the abuse. I’ve seen many posts on social media (mainly from men) complaining about her comments and they have intentionally tagged really unflattering photos of her (like midway through talking) to the post where they go on like she’s the devil incarnate.

Many, many male celebrities have preached the same stuff. I have teen DD’s and DSD’s who all have male celebrities they are fans of and I’ve heard of these celebrities saying the same stuff. That if you work hard and “hustle” you will succeed.

There’s also lots of self-help Instagram accounts that preach the same stuff. These accounts are popular with young lads and are ran by men and seem to be aimed at men. Often they focus on cars and how you can have your dream car just like the guy behind the account if you follow his advice, buy his breathing technique course and work hard bla bla bla. These people don’t seem to get crucified the way Molly Mae has done.

Also a lot of male rappers who are popular these days such as Aitch make it their whole brand to show off about how they are successful because they took a chance and work hard bla bla bla. Aitch is a rapper from a very rough area of Manchester who got a lucky break. Molly Mae is more middle class but she went to a comp school and wasn’t outrageously wealthy. She just wasn’t on the breadline, why should she apologise for that? One of Aitch’s song lyrics is “I’ve got your boyfriend’s monthly wage in my jeans.” (DD loves the song). Nobody has ever come after him for that.

It seems to me that:

A man from a non-celeb average background gets a lucky break and becomes famous and rich and tries to inspire his fans to work hard and do the same = amazing and down to earth and inspiring

A woman from a non-celeb average background gets a lucky break and becomes rich and famous and tries to inspire her fans to work hard and do the same = a silly thick little cow who is only good for her looks and should keep her mouth shut and know her place.

I honestly believe if her boyfriend had made the same comments nobody would have batted an eyelid.

OP posts:

gobbledygoook · 09/01/2022 07:58

I completely agree!

To people who think what she does isn't hard work, I think they only think that way because it isn't a job they recognise as hard work! Tbh being an influencer isn't an easy job, I think because people don't think she's getting her hands dirty / isn't qualified in anything to do the job, that it's easy and not real. Brands and influencers spend months planning and strategising campaigns, working on contracts in the background, shooting content, staying relevant by posting multiple times a day on topics, filming and editing videos etc. Just because she's not pulling 12 hour shifts in a warehouse doesn't mean it isn't hard work 🤷🏻‍♀️ (disclaimer I am not an influencer 😂)

People love to shit on successful people! I think her comments are no different from what a lot of people believe, it's nothing rude or revolutionary, but if that way of thinking motivates her and helps her work well, why not? There's entire books on that way of thinking!

Original poster

BlisterConcern · 09/01/2022 07:59

If you watch them two videos and listen to what is being said in the same context as people listen to Molly Mae’s advice, it can be taken literally the exact same way.

“Get of your arse like I did, work hard and get rich.”

It IS silly advice but it’s everywhere. Molly Mae is the only one who gets bullied for it though it seems. It’s bizarre.

OP posts:

LuckyMeISeeGhosts · 09/01/2022 08:01

staying relevant by posting multiple times a day on topics

God, sounds really strenuous.

NashvilleQueen · 09/01/2022 08:02

Also I had never heard of her before this week as I've never watched Love Island nor seen her on any SM platform. So using the adage that any publicity is good publicity it might even benefit her.

I firmly disagree with any negative posts about how she looks. Being attractive or pretty doesn't mean she doesn't have something to say. It's just that what little I have seen her say is bollocks.

Hillary17 · 09/01/2022 08:02

I honestly can’t believe how some people have reacted to this. Is she a little young to make such bold claims, sure but the girl has been abused so much over the last few days. People really know nothing about her either; she was reasonably successful before going on Love Island and has said several times before she was on track to have a million followers either way. She didn’t go in for love, that was a bonus. It fast tracked her career and opportunities.

She also (in my eyes at least) isn’t wrong. Opportunity is out there for anyone to take, work hard and the majority can change their circumstances. People just don’t want to hear they have control over their situation. Loads of people are harping on about her not understanding poverty; I grew up in poverty and worked bloody hard to get out, get educated, used my 24 hours to work several jobs, volunteered, worked up the ladder, saved, bought a house etc. Will I be a CEO one day? Who knows but there are opportunities for everyone if you want to work hard which is I think the point she was making.

I really hope she’s being supported these last few days before she really does not deserve this level of abuse for being young and saying something a little naive.

NashvilleQueen · 09/01/2022 08:03

I'm afraid that being an influencer is an easy job. Honestly let's not be ridiculous about it.

dottiedodah · 09/01/2022 08:04

I think many young women who are pretty and appear on shows like love island. Seem to ignore the fact that her looks have started her career. Whether she has worked hard since seems to ignore the fact that she would not have had this chance ow. All the nurses and doctors who work rejally hard .plus all those on new and soj on just seems unfair to them to say this publicly

Original poster

BlisterConcern · 09/01/2022 08:06

I’ll admit I probably have a soft spot for her in that she has the same chronic health condition as me and my daughter and I was so glad when she spoke about it. I’m used to it not being taken seriously. It bothers me when people say she’s nothing but a pretty face. Vile vile vile way to speak about somebody. How vile she is as well for encouraging young people to get moles checked for cancer. How scummy.

My points still stands though. It’s clearly fine for men to preach this type of self-help advice but not women, nothing will change my opinion on that. Women who say it are seen as out of line little madams and should be put in their place. Men are inspiring kings 🙄

OP posts:

Original poster

BlisterConcern · 09/01/2022 08:12

@dottiedodah

Her advice wasn’t about becoming an influencer specifically though, was it? Wasn’t it just about having a goal and working towards it?

Becoming a doctor/nurse is a huge thing, with years of studying. Getting that qualification and doing the job day in and day out is the epitome of using your 24 hours for something great.

Of course it’s silly and simplified advice but I took it as VERY general.

OP posts:

bcc89 · 09/01/2022 08:15

@BlisterConcern

You keep talking about her raising awareness. Did she do more than post on social media? Has she donated her time to a local or national charity? Has she done anything other than just talk about having a health condition?

"Raising awareness" can be such a load of bollocks, let's be honest.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 09/01/2022 08:18

@dottiedodah

That's the crux of it really. No one on Love Island got chosen to go on there because of their hard work, they were chosen because of looks.

You can't attract a huge following on Instagram as a woman if you're conventionally unattractive.

secular39 · 09/01/2022 08:18

Are you her mother OP or a relative to hers? You have been defending this girl throughout the thread and you are not really taking anyones opinions on board. I agree she is getting a lot more stick because she's a woman but her comments were piss poor. Shame on her.

Horst · 09/01/2022 08:19

Because people like their rich for whatever brand they are in their boxes.

People who want to follow the get rich quick bust your ass off types will follow those types.

Molly Mae is rich and famous because she’s pretty, that helps when your on Instagram or TikTok trying to build a following and to get deals and brands behind you, love island again it’s for a certain type of person and those that follow it like to see this pretty people on it. She then got offered more work.

But none of that was because she worked hard at school or is a great sports person or has a talent in rapping or singing. She’s just easily marketed while she’s young and pretty to a certain type of consumer.

Once she’s unpopular they will throw her to the wolves like those before her.

Kitchenmaid · 09/01/2022 08:19

Pity she can't use her job at PrettyLittleThing to campaign for better working conditions. Sounds like she has a lot of influence right there.

She said in that interview she's said something similar before but she still says she is right. That's tone deaf, she hasn't taken any of it on board.

Singers, actors, sports people - I reckon there's loads of work that goes on behind the scenes for years. Look at everyone who doesn't make it despite putting lots into it. She won the genetic lottery, she was on love island because she is beautiful.

I think it was insulting. I've worked hard my whole life and I don't have her lifestyle.

1224boom · 09/01/2022 08:20

@NashvilleQueen

I'm afraid that being an influencer is an easy job. Honestly let's not be ridiculous about it.

How do you know this? Are you an influencer?

Youreatragedystartingtohappen · 09/01/2022 08:20

@Amichelle84

She's not getting shit because she's a woman, she's getting shit because she's a prick.

This. And a hypocritical one at that

MuthaHubbard · 09/01/2022 08:21

'agree she seems a hard worker'

She went to work in the factory that makes the clothes for the brand she works for. When realising they work 12hr shifts, she nearly had a heart attack and admitted there was no way she could do that. You know actual work that millions have to do in order to live.
She's quickly forgotten that with the "same 24hrs a day' comment

Original poster

BlisterConcern · 09/01/2022 08:22

@bcc89.

You’re determined to vilify innocuous things she does though. My teenage daughter with the condition felt represented by her. That is great. She felt she could relate, listening to Molly Mae talk about her experiences with the surgery my DD is hoping to have soon.

OP posts:

Pugroll · 09/01/2022 08:23

She has no real talent, she really is famous for flogging sweat shop clothes and editing photos to push an unobtainable image that gets girls parting with their cash to try and look the same (when even she doesn't look like that) in a very toxic and harmful industry. She hasn't worked hard in the conventional sense as in something which takes decades of commitment to reach a desirable level of success; when sports people talk about the same thing they are referring to working hard at their sport, for example, which is correct, you won't be a pro footballer if you haven't worked hard. She even said before she said it I have been given flack for saying this before- and then goes on to say it again!

Although there is misogyny in the media, on the whole young women are more of a captive market easy to part with cash based on their insecurities than young men, although there are male influencers its not on the same scale; so she also benefits from being a woman in this industry.

HailAdrian · 09/01/2022 08:23

She's a dick. Stop trying to make this a feminist issue.

Original poster

BlisterConcern · 09/01/2022 08:24

@secular39.

No. I’m not.

OP posts:

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 09/01/2022 08:24

It bothers me when people say she’s nothing but a pretty face. Vile vile vile way to speak about somebody. How vile she is as well for encouraging young people to get moles checked for cancer. How scummy.

On the flip side there was an actual A&E doctor on the programme, had a bit of success and went back to his day job. Gives out good advice, especially through the pandemic about mental health etc. He just didn't sell in the celebrity world. Why? (He has a couple million followers)

She isn't stupid, she is incredibly smart and has marketed herself very well but it is not offensive to suggest that without her looks she would not have been as successful. Same goes for her boyfriend. He marketed himself as the loveable young boy, not like the rest, a real softy and people instantly liked him. Pair them up together and you're on to big money. I personally think they should rinse it for all they can.

bcc89 · 09/01/2022 08:24

[quote BlisterConcern]@bcc89.

How many celebrities virtue signal about crap that has nothing to do with them? Marcus Rashford is a notable exception to this. Molly Mae has the condition, suffers from it and it’s her lived experience.[/quote]
I was genuinely asking what she has done to raise awareness for the health condition that has meant so much to you.

So she's talked about it on social media? I feel like she could have possibly done more with the 24 hours in her day...

DingleyDel · 09/01/2022 08:25

I think it’s a bit of both. What she said was so so stupid that it really shows either a staggering naivety OR that she is an absolutely horrible person with no empathy. She’s pretty much summed up the problem with extreme capitalism in a world where there are more billionaires than ever, rising poverty for average workers, and extremely rich people who have got rich from the backs of others think they have worked the hardest and deserve vast wealth. Throw in the fact that she is white, able bodied etc and you have a perfect social media storm. Lots of people are so sick of vast wealth inequality.

On the other hand she probably has had a lot more shit for it because she’s a woman. However I’ve seen it argued that she shouldn’t be in a position of CEO (or whatever she is) if she can’t take the criticism from saying ignorant things.

hugr · 09/01/2022 08:26

[quote BlisterConcern]@bcc89.

Except I’ve never said I agreed with her advice, did I? This thread isn’t about her advice. If a male celebrity of a similar ilk said it there wouldn’t be an outrage.[/quote]
But we can't just ignore what she said because she's a woman

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