To think this woman is ridiculous and aggressive?

[mothtoflutter]

Been with my partner 2 months now, met his daughter a few weeks ago - daughter is 3 - it went well and she really took to me.

She stayed at her dads on Thursday night, and I got her ready for nursery in the morning and dropped her off. I received this message last night - I haven't responded as off yet as don't want to say something I might regret but I am fuming. It is such a nasty message and AIBU to think it is unnecessarily aggressive? WIBU to just reply 'fuck off' (only slightly joking )

I heard you dressed my daughter this morning. You put her jeans on back to front and wellies on the wrong feet, had her looking like a right scruff. I don't care what goes on between you and D, I really don't and has nothing to do with that but I have told D, and maybe he's not passed it on, I do not want you or any girl that he's shagging around daughter until it's serious and I've met her. I certainly don't want a random girl dressing my daughter, especially if she can't manage it properly. The shit and stress that has been caused today because of D's behaviour, and I'm assuming that's because he was up the night with you drinking or taking God knows what. Have a bit of respect, go see D once daughter is in her bed and leave before she's up, it's not hard. I text his mum and her response was who is mothtoflutter!? So it can't be serious if you've not even been mentioned. So for now, please don't come around my daughter. Thank you.

Just an FYI I have no idea about the stress that my partner has caused that she speaks of and neither does he.

Aggressive but see her point. You’ve only been together 5 minutes it’s not appropriate for you to have met her let alone playing mum.

He's your boyfriend, not your 'partner'.

And I agree with the mother, you have no business being around her daughter at this stage.

And your boyfriend has no business getting other women to do his parenting work.

How have you even got each other's phone numbers anyway?

it's so wrong that I'm wondering whether you're actually the DD's mother.

I would actually be concerned about a person who wanted to dress the child of someone they’re dating and take them to nursery. It’s a massive red flag.

YABU. You should not be dressing his child and getting her ready for nursery after 2 months together.

It is far too soon for one thing, for another I suspect you are being brought in to do the 'woman work' he doesn't want to do.

Partner?? He’s a bloke you have been seeing for 2 months.

Totally inappropriate that you have even met his daughter let alone be dressing her etc.

At 2 months you shouldn't have even met his child, let alone take her to nursery. You are completely overstepping and your partner is an idiot. The child is your boyfriends daughter, nothing to do with you. You need to let the dad handle things with his daughter in future. I'm not surprised the mum is pissed off.

She’s being much nicer than I would be. I am angry on her behalf. Wildly inappropriate of you and him. Why isn’t her father dressing her and taking her to nursery? I imagine you raised a few eyebrows there too.

Do you have children of your own? Would that be ok with you?

How did she message you? Not sure how she has your number if you've only been seeing him for a short time.

Much too early for you to meet his daughter, let alone dress her and take her to nursery.
Take a big step back.

I would be completely furious in her position too.

He is looking for childcare, not a girlfriend

Why were you dressing her and taking her to nursery?

That’s massively inappropriate at that point. Plus if it was because your boyfriend wasn’t fit to do so then you should be running for the hills.

I assume that's come from the girl's mother? It reads as a big aggressive, but I most definitely agree with the main thrust of what she's saying. After 4 weeks, no way should you be spending time alone with her, let alone dressing her for goodness sake! And how on earth can you put a child's jeans on backwards?

What's the comment about drinking and "taking god knows what" about? Does she have a reason to suspect that there's drug taking going on? If so, no way would I want you around my child.

how can you get someone's jeans on back to front?

@WorraLiberty

He's your boyfriend, not your 'partner'.

And I agree with the mother, you have no business being around her daughter at this stage.

And your boyfriend has no business getting other women to do his parenting work.

How have you even got each other's phone numbers anyway?

It was over Facebook she obviously searched me. No I am his first relationship since they split two years ago.

Yes her jeans were on back to front as she put them on herself and didn't want to change them around and since I'm not her mum I didn't feel I had the right to challenge her. I took her as my partner had work.

Two months is way too soon to have even met his daughter never mind helped her get dressed.

After all the horrible stories in the news lately about the new partners of parents and young children, I think she has a point. It was sharply expressed but she was probably writing from a place of shock that someone she didn't even seem to really know about and who has barely been in her ex's life, let alone her daughter's, has been dressing her 3yo (incorrectly) and taking her to nursery. It's v inappropriate, IMO.

Is this a reverse?

I’d imagine putting jeans in backwards would be quite a feat in itself.

I completely agree with the mom. Not her agressive tone but what she's saying is 100% accurate.

8 weeks and your dressing his daughter and taking her to nursery?! That's so soon!

Yeah.....that's out of line

Sounds like your boyfriend is just looking for someone to take over childcare duties for him

Far too early to be meeting his daughter never mind dressing her and taking her to nursery, after 2 months he is not your partner

Yet you felt it was your place to watch her dress and take her to nursery??