To want to knock her lights out?

[AngryMumOfTwo]

Hi,

I've nc'ed to be anon with this.

I'm quite upset because this note was stuck to our door overnight.

A bit of background. We've moved into this privately rented flat about 4 years ago, when our daughter was only 1. She is now 5. We have just had our second (and last) over Christmas. Like all newborns, she cries at night sometimes. She isn't too bad to be honest, at least we didn't think she was. Our oldest did cry a lot.

We get along with most people who live here. We're generally quiet and private as is all the other residents. Over 50% of them are elderly, though this isn't a retirement block of flats. We're the youngest, but there are others not much older then us.

We don't know who left the note. It is obviously unsigned. We have our suspicions but that's all. If they had knocked on the door and spoken to us, that wouldn't be a problem.

For their own sake, they better hope I don't find out who it is. I'm furious. It's horrid. The residents we've spoken to over the last few days have said how lovely she is but no noise complaints. Our immediate neighbours and the lady directly below are nice people so I don't think it's them.

I'm not sure what else I can really do about this. I had to vent my anger somewhere, sorry. My partner is angry but also found it amusing.

Vile & abusive. I'd suggest ringing 101 & reporting it to the community police, just incase

@RockinHorseShit

Vile & abusive. I'd suggest ringing 101 & reporting it to the community police, just incase

Reporting it for what, exactly?

That's horrid.

I hate people like this who act like they themselves were never babies / children once.

Maybe their parents should have done the world a favour and chosen not to breed themselves.

I can understand both sides to be honest - be it a dog barking, crying baby it can make you go demented! Especially if you have work in the morning and you haven’t had enough sleep!

I just find complaints like this about babies crying a bit hypocritical.

Unless you're some Benjamin Button, I'll go ahead and assume you also cried at night at some point.

That is vile.

I think leaving it is a good move. Ignore bullies and most will get bored and move on.

I do also like the idea of PPs who say to photocopy the note and send it to all the neighbours and I would put something like the following...

Dear Neighbours,

Happy New Year. We hope this note finds you well.

Someone put the note overleaf on our door and we are not sure who it was.

We are, of course, sorry if our baby crying disturbs anyone. We were all babies once and this was the way we all communicated our needs before we could speak. It’s not something that we can do anything about and is likely to continue for a while yet.

The letter was very aggressive and rude and we were shocked by the tone of it. It’s pretty upsetting.

We love living here, and know that most of our neighbours are kind and thoughtful. We would hope that most of you would feel able to talk directly to us if you needed us to change anything. We would do the same.

To the person who wrote the note. Please, in future, feel free to come and talk to us directly if there is anything you need from us as neighbours and please refrain from using such aggressive language towards us. There is simply no need for it.

We wish you all a happy and healthy 2022. Let’s hope it’s a better year for us all.

That way the whole block know about it and can support you and the vile bully who did this will know that they can’t hide their behaviour. People talk. It would shine a light on it. You show yourselves to be reasonable, calm and sensible in the face of their vicious tantrum.

In the’80s & 90s, my gay friends called straight people “breeders.” It’s what they called me. That’s the first thing I thought of when I read the note, because it’s such a specific word.
They’d be in their 50’s-60’s now.

Just a thought, @AngryMumOfTwo

I'd add to the bottom of it
' were glad you've noticed we've come here to' breed'. Please look forward to our new addition early 2023.. Aiming for 5 dcs '

Leave it on the door they won't be able to resist looking and wondering why the note is there still.

' to a new addition, aiming for 2023'

Omg what a disgusting note and they’re a coward leaving you no chance to reply

I'd pin the note to the inside of the exit door to the block with the addition of thank you for this kind note from our neighbour.
They need shamed.

I’m also going with a younger person. “Breeder” makes me think of Reddit and the r/childfree sub, which is frankly a toxic and hate filled cesspit anyway. (It’s totally fine to not like children and not want to have them, but posting spiteful rants about “breeders” and “crotch goblins” etc is not exactly mature or tasteful.)

I think (with v little basis for saying so, as I won’t waste much of my time on that kind of negativity 😂) the worst offenders there are probably women in their early 20s who are convinced it’s never going to be for them and aren’t mature enough to grasp that different life choices aren’t necessarily worse for different people (or even the same people but older!), and feel entitled to disparage others for making that choice.

What a wankerish message. How do they expect you to silence a baby at night? Do they think a baby is a mobile phone with a 'do not disturb' function?

It certainly could've been written by a teenager, going by both the language and the handwriting. But does this person actually live in the building? Could it have been someone visiting their grandparents for a few days?

Are any of the people you suspect nonnative speakers of English?

Also I agree with photocopying, and putting on the exit door to the building with the nice response recommended above.

And one addition "the original is with the police for fingerprinting"

~ shit them up a bit.

Any of your neighbours got a teenage daughter?

Honestly that looks like something my teenage daughter would write in that exact style however this looks like it's been dictated slightly by their parent's/parent.

I would just knock the doors of the neighbouring flats and ask if they wrote the note. I am usually very confrontation-averse but in situations where I feel someone is being a proper arsehole, I can't help myself. I wouldn't be accusatory, just ask if it was them, as obviously they 'forgot' to sign their name. I would imagine they would deny it but hopefully think twice before doing any more anonymous bullying.

The letter does show that the writer is lacking in class and they really should have come to you directly. I do empathise and it must be very tough, the letter is very unpleasant. However, I don't agree with the notion that other residents should have to simply suffer in silence especially if they have work the next day/are elderly and want to live in peace. This is something you must have considered prior to moving into an apartment block with small children? I'm guessing whoever wrote it wrote the letter after being sleep deprived and probably acted irrationally as a result.

I'll add that I'm unsure why you assumed that the person who wrote the note was female and also unsure why you want to "knock her lights out"...

I'd be tempted to put a note on your door along the lines of "thanks for the recent communication, we perceived the note as harassment and have reported it to the landlord and police"

Make them sweat, get a ring doorbell too so you can catch who did it. Some people are vile.

What a horrible note. I would keep hold of it in case there are others and you need to escalate matters but other than that I would forget about it and just enjoy your new DD.

Ooh that's horrible. I'd be knocking on every single door to find the culprit and having a horribly pleasant and polite conversation with them, which would make them feel far worse than an angry response! Kill them with kindness and all that.