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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to knock her lights out?

416 replies

AngryMumOfTwo · 07/01/2022 07:52

Hi,

I've nc'ed to be anon with this.

I'm quite upset because this note was stuck to our door overnight.

A bit of background. We've moved into this privately rented flat about 4 years ago, when our daughter was only 1. She is now 5. We have just had our second (and last) over Christmas. Like all newborns, she cries at night sometimes. She isn't too bad to be honest, at least we didn't think she was. Our oldest did cry a lot.

We get along with most people who live here. We're generally quiet and private as is all the other residents. Over 50% of them are elderly, though this isn't a retirement block of flats. We're the youngest, but there are others not much older then us.

We don't know who left the note. It is obviously unsigned. We have our suspicions but that's all. If they had knocked on the door and spoken to us, that wouldn't be a problem.

For their own sake, they better hope I don't find out who it is. I'm furious. It's horrid. The residents we've spoken to over the last few days have said how lovely she is but no noise complaints. Our immediate neighbours and the lady directly below are nice people so I don't think it's them.

I'm not sure what else I can really do about this. I had to vent my anger somewhere, sorry. My partner is angry but also found it amusing.

To want to knock her lights out?
OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 07/01/2022 13:20

It really looks like the handwriting of someone in lower LS2!

Original poster
AngryMumOfTwo · 07/01/2022 13:25

@captainmycaptain yeah but unless they dust it for fingerprints, what else can they do?

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 07/01/2022 13:28

[quote AngryMumOfTwo]@captainmycaptain yeah but unless they dust it for fingerprints, what else can they do?[/quote]
I suppose it could be logged in case it escalates (which, obviously, I hope it doesn't).

acatcalledjohn · 07/01/2022 13:30

Someone upthread suggested to copy the note, add your response and post through all doors. I think that's a great idea.

And I wouldn't hold back either. Much like @Keladrythesaviour 's sarky response.

I used to live next to a young family whose toddler would start screaming "MUMMY!" at the top of his voice before 6am. She used to ignore him, it used to wake me up. However, I didn't complain. When they moved out the property was rented out to a bunch of young people (around 20YO maybe), who would have frequent loud parties going on until the middle of the night, keeping me up. I complained. LOUDLY.

Like a PP has said: Babies and children are part of society. If they have an issue with that they should move to the middle of nowhere.

Muthalucka · 07/01/2022 13:34

I’d be tempted to knock on every door

JasmineGarden · 07/01/2022 13:40

It strikes me as being written by a 12-15 year old. Any of those around?

Try to laugh at their ridiculous note. It seems clear it's a young teen trying (and failing) to sound adult.

Whatever you do or don't do, DO NOT let it change how you parent your children. Or worry about the noise. New born babies cry, that's just life!

It's different when a baby cries for hours and you're pretty bloody sure no one is comforting it. That is awful to listen to. But a new born mewling nah.

Enjoy those snuggles!!

Lavender24 · 07/01/2022 13:40

Wow that's fucking VILE. I like the idea of posting copies through every door with your response. Something like "To whomever wrote this, we appreciate your feedback and are now considering have a third."

sbardy18 · 07/01/2022 15:26

I would have another baby in the next year just to annoy them further! Sorry I know its not helpful, I would be very annoyed too!

Lovemelongthai · 07/01/2022 16:34

They deserve the rudest response, but silence in this case would be best. Give it no attention or a seconds thought whatsoever.

FortySeven · 07/01/2022 16:53

I think also it's just the bitchyness of it, it comes across as a female

Please don’t keep peddling the completely misogynistic misconception that only women can be “bitchy”.

Other than that YANBU - it’s vile. Rise above and ignore it - whoever wrote it is obviously an extremely sad, bitter person.

ChargingBuck · 07/01/2022 16:56

Oh dear OP - I'd be angry too, but once the initial shock wore off I'd hope to be able to find some amusement in it, like DH has.

Do you have a communal hallway?

I would be trotting off to have The Note framed, alongside an explanation penned by you - something like
"Congratulations to the passive aggressive coward who pinned this nasty note to our door. We've managed to find it amusing, & will have enormous fun seeing who blushes while scuttling past this exhibition of unusual creative writing skills.
Love - Tom & Barbara at number 6."

ChargingBuck · 07/01/2022 16:57

@Lavender24

Wow that's fucking VILE. I like the idea of posting copies through every door with your response. Something like "To whomever wrote this, we appreciate your feedback and are now considering have a third."
That's brilliant.

Everyone who didn't write it will laugh & be even more pro-OP.
The one who did will be in agonies ... :)

Offmyfence · 07/01/2022 17:07

That is awful.

But I would not just do nothing, if I was you.

I would be putting a copy of the note and a request for the writer to come forward and have the decency to discuss this with you. Let everyone in the block know, I am sure the vast majority will be on your side.

Whoever did this, should be bloody ashamed of themselves.

Congratulations on your baby and I am sure that most of your neighbours do think she is lovely and if they do hear her cry, just think poor "angrymumoftwo" having to get up again. Then turnover and go back to sleep!

greyspottedgoose · 07/01/2022 17:07

I'd photocopy one for everyone's doors, and write on them all, if you wrote this... Go fuck yourself, if not sorry if my baby disturbs you it's not intentional

Offmyfence · 07/01/2022 17:08

@LuckyMeISeeGhosts

I would knock on every single door until I found the fucker.
I like your style!
StoneofDestiny · 07/01/2022 17:20

I'd put the note in a plastic bag as I suspect you will have further things to come from this sicko. You may need it for evidence - but if you have already shown it to others you will have lots of fingerprints on it now.

I'd involve the landlord - they should recognise the handwriting

I'd copy the note to all the neighbours as the writer is suggesting they are speaking on behalf of others. Ask them to identify themselves as anonymous notes are cowardly and intimidating. If they have something to say that they believe to be reasonable and accurate, you cannot understand why they would want to remain anonymous. I'd say that you'd rather have a baby living near you any day than a cowardly bully hiding behind anonymity.

Georgeskitchen · 07/01/2022 17:59

Shame they didn't have the guts to sign it!!

scorpiogirly · 07/01/2022 18:06

Write ‘Fuck you’ on the bottom of the note and tape it to the main entrance door.

LondonWolf · 07/01/2022 18:07

@scorpiogirly

Write ‘Fuck you’ on the bottom of the note and tape it to the main entrance door.
Grin
meemaww · 07/01/2022 18:09

@loopyapp

I'd be popping a note through everyone's door with a photocopy of that saying

Dear neighbours

It's been brought to our attention that our brand new baby is being a disturbance.

As we are sure the vast majority of you are wonderful, respectful neighbours we felt you should be aware of the one toxic element living within our small community.

If any of you recognise the handwriting please do pass on our gratitude for so eloquently taking some of the shine off this precious time for us!

Kind regards

The Breeders.

This is spot on. Congratulations on your new baby 💐💕
2Gen · 07/01/2022 18:10

@weleasewoderick23

I found the bit about moving in just to "breed" the most offensive. Twats Angry
I did too! Is there a word for someone with a pathological hatred of babies and children? Whoever wrote this would seem to have that mindset and they're a bit of a coward to put it on the OP's door anonymously instead of signing it! OP, YANBU to feel angry and offended but don't let this horrible note eat away at you! I'm sorry I haven't got any more practical advice- this sort of cowardly aggression is very tricky!
stupiduser · 07/01/2022 18:11

Haven't read the thread yet but just want to play detective a moment before I see anyone else's answers. That isn't an old persons writing. Mid to late 40's man is my guess

Scrabblecrabapple · 07/01/2022 18:12

How about…..Dear Stupid old cunt. Fuck off. Love and kisses angrymumoftwo.
Then no more headspace. People like this literally have nothing else in their lives worth doing that be twats and sit around all day thinking about how to be a twat.

flippertyop · 07/01/2022 18:13

Fucking arsehole

MarshmallowSwede · 07/01/2022 18:13

It’s a horrible note and I can’t imagine an older person leaving this.

Surely they all have children and grandchildren. The language sounds more like a younger child free person. “Just to breed”. I’ve only ever heard that come from one of the younger, supposedly cooler tick tock generation.

I would say something to the person if I ever found out for sure who it was. This person is a disgusting human being.

Babies cry. What is it with the contempt for people having children?