To want to knock her lights out?

[AngryMumOfTwo]

Hi,

I've nc'ed to be anon with this.

I'm quite upset because this note was stuck to our door overnight.

A bit of background. We've moved into this privately rented flat about 4 years ago, when our daughter was only 1. She is now 5. We have just had our second (and last) over Christmas. Like all newborns, she cries at night sometimes. She isn't too bad to be honest, at least we didn't think she was. Our oldest did cry a lot.

We get along with most people who live here. We're generally quiet and private as is all the other residents. Over 50% of them are elderly, though this isn't a retirement block of flats. We're the youngest, but there are others not much older then us.

We don't know who left the note. It is obviously unsigned. We have our suspicions but that's all. If they had knocked on the door and spoken to us, that wouldn't be a problem.

For their own sake, they better hope I don't find out who it is. I'm furious. It's horrid. The residents we've spoken to over the last few days have said how lovely she is but no noise complaints. Our immediate neighbours and the lady directly below are nice people so I don't think it's them.

I'm not sure what else I can really do about this. I had to vent my anger somewhere, sorry. My partner is angry but also found it amusing.

Do the flats / hallways etc have cctv?

Vile note.

@LethargicActress

That is a very nasty way of letting you know that your family is disturbing other people, but your aggressive reaction is OTT. I’d give this person the benefit of the doubt and try to reason that they probably wrote this note after a night of disturbances when they were feeling particularly angry. No one wants to be woken up by other people’s crying children.

I think it's clear OP is upset when she wrote the post, I doubt she's actually going to knock her lights out. Babies cry, unfortunately lots of things in life make noise. If this neighbour had an issue, the best thing to do is talk to OP rather than leave aggressive notes.

Horrible horrible note. As over half are elderly though they probably do see it as a peaceful retirement area so that probably sheds light on it.

If it was me I'd be going round to each flat and asking the occupiers if it was them.

Years ago some neighbours were having a drunken party out the front of our houses. I was a young widow with a small boy and he slept in with me at the time (afraid I'd die in the night like Daddy). The drunks got on to the subject of my sex life and I could hear every word. I let it continue and then early next morning went round and woke each of them up in turn to ask why they'd been so rude. They were all shame-faced and apologised. The ringleader moved out 2 days later.

People who leave anonymous notes are cowards. And of course babies cry ffs. Did they never have kids?

I’d be tempted to photocopy the note so there was a copy for each resident, then write on it,

I have loved here 5 years. I am most disappointed to discover this anonymous note has been posted to me from someone I have been neighbours with for years. If you didn’t send this to me, please accept this as a heads up that this is deemed acceptable by someone who lives here. If you did send me this, I say with the upmost respect...go fuck yourself.

Awful. How spineless.

But I would kill with politeness:

‘Dear Anonymous Note Leaving Neighbour,

We’re sorry you didn’t feel able to let us know who you are.

We would be more than happy to discuss the unsigned note you left on our door and hear any solutions you may have in regards to stopping babies crying but only if you come forward in person.

Anonymous letters are deeply unkind and as such, will be completely disregarded.

Please don’t hesitate to let us know who you are.

Best. Fred and Ginger, No16’

And I’d leave it where the entire building could see it (with their letter attached for context).

I'd be popping a note through everyone's door with a photocopy of that saying

Dear neighbours

It's been brought to our attention that our brand new baby is being a disturbance.

As we are sure the vast majority of you are wonderful, respectful neighbours we felt you should be aware of the one toxic element living within our small community.

If any of you recognise the handwriting please do pass on our gratitude for so eloquently taking some of the shine off this precious time for us!

Kind regards

The Breeders.

That isn't an old persons handwriting, they write like my 12 year old.

That’s so shitty.

Everyone in that building was a crying baby at some point! They weren’t born standing up. I’d be tempted to put that note up somewhere prominent with a line that any further will be reported to the police as harassment.

My daydreamed response to this would be to photocopy and send to every neighbour to shame the writer. Perhaps with a reply from you along the lines of, someone here has problems with our baby crying, we are doing xyz to limit nighttime noise but if any parents have any clever tricks to let you know and to the vile person who wrote this and didn’t come to me directly please never speak to me again. Not sure I’d actually do this, but sometimes it’s nice to think of these replies.

Share the note with all your neighbours so they know someone like that is living amongst them.

I'd agree that it doesn't look like an older persons handwriting. It could be, but doesn't look it to me.

YANBU for being thoroughly pissed off. It's horrible

I would write a little note back at the bottom of the letter and leave it pinned up.

That's not an adult's handwriting. You're being trolled by a young teenager.

It's not an old person's handwriting and they would not use the phrase about breeding. That's a younger resident.

@Prettypennies

I would write a little note back at the bottom of the letter and leave it pinned up.

Good idea - then stick it back up in a communal space and someone might recognise the hand writing x

Congratulations by the way

@SoupDragon

I would write a polite response and make enough copies to post through every single door in the building.

Include a photocopy of the original note too.

@JackTheHack

Old people can be vile can't they? Just carry on as you are.

People can be vile. Fixed that for you.

Jesus christ!!! A polite note - fair enough, drop responses into doors.

That note doesn't warrant even a moments thought!

Definitely looks like it was written by a teenager trying to make you think it was one of the older residents.

@Spanielsarepainless

It's not an old person's handwriting and they would not use the phrase about breeding. That's a younger resident.

I agree - and I think it's a man's writing. Some posters have been quick to make the assumption it's an old/older person

Looks like a young person, with the style alternatively leaning forward and backwards and especially with the silly unnecessary swoosh under the kind regards.

I’d be emailing a photo/copy to the landlord for them to take further action, with a note that you find this note borderline threatening, because it is due to the aggressive tone. If it happens again I would again inform the landlord and get the police involved for threatening behaviour.

Apparently noise affects those above you (I saw a diagram a while back that shows how noise bounces around a room and most of it ends up travelling up)

Do you have anyone directly above you?

I would genuinely photocopy that note and post it back through every single person's door and write with it:

As you forgot to leave your name, I'm not sure who left us this note. Please get in touch! :)

So everyone can see what a nasty person their neighbour is and hopefully they will feel shamed! Someone will recognise their handwriting too. Shame on them :)

The best way to piss them off is no reaction at all. Continue to live as usual, which apparently bothers them to a significant degree.