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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’m so upset about an old snowsuit, tell me to get a grip.

261 replies

GarethKeenanInvestigates · 05/01/2022 17:41

My snowsuit from when I was a baby 42 years ago has been worn by my 3 children too, from my 19 year old down to my 17 month old who was still wearing it. I caught a seam on something last week and it ripped.

My mother in law is great at sewing and fixing things, dh asked if she could fix the seam.

He went there at lunch to pick something up and she handed him a new snowsuit she had bought for dd as she had chucked mine in the bin as it was old and she thought she would replace it Sad

I’m not angry at her at all. It was a 42 year old mothercare snowsuit that’s been through 4 children (it was still in good condition though and quite retro and cool). She doesn’t know it was
sentimental to me, We should have said not to throw it if she couldn’t fix it.

To anyone else it was a bit of old shit but it’s was one of the only things I had left. My mum died when I was little, my dad is now 85 and in a care home with dementia, we’ve totally lost him
now, who he was has gone. At the start of his dementia, he started chucking away so much stuff and I didn’t know. So many family photos, videos all gone.

He’d always kept that snowsuit though as my mum bought it the day she found out she was pregnant with me, and he remembered laughing at her because she had bought it in 1 year old size rather than newborn because she was in such an excited flap on the way home from the dr. He loved seeing my older two in it. My littlest dd, he was too far gone to even register.

Plus, I had it in my head that if I was ever l lucky enough to have a grandchild one day, I’d be that annoying gran who passed it down.

I need to get a bloody grip, don’t I. It’s a fucking snowsuit, not a royal christening gown.

OP posts:
opinionminion · 06/01/2022 18:56

That's fantastic news - I am so chuffed for you - now guard it with your life Smile

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 06/01/2022 19:01

It was a 42 year old mothercare snowsuit that’s been through 4 children

How long did you expect it to last?

EarringsandLipstick · 06/01/2022 19:03

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

It was a 42 year old mothercare snowsuit that’s been through 4 children

How long did you expect it to last?

If you read OP's posts, you'd have seen it's in good condition & not worn all that often over 42 years. You'd also see that OP happily has got it back.
Jenpeg · 06/01/2022 19:06

Anyone else blubbing at the but about the photo with the suit and her parents, :( i can literally feel how much it meant to you and I'd feel similarly. Your MIL sounds like a nice lady but she shouldn't have thrown it away without asking, that's not something I or many other folk would have done but your attitude is beautiful,you see the good in what she tried to do and take responsibility yourself for the mistake.Please accept that it's not your fault for not telling her not to bin something you gave her, that's really on her! But if you are genuinely not annoyed or blaming her then you are a big person ❤️ maybe you have great perspective having lost your parents and dont see the point in blame or upset when she probably meant to do good? She bought this our of genuine love and care for you and your children, maybe this is the start of a new snowsuit story for your family going forwards ❤️

Gwenhwyfar · 06/01/2022 19:14

@Theunamedcat

Look on ebay? I had one for my daughter from a charity shop that was genuinely years old and still in fantastic condition
How would that help?
rhianfitz · 06/01/2022 19:19

Aww that is the best news I've heard in ages fantastic!!!!

GarethKeenanInvestigates · 06/01/2022 19:19

@Jenpeg

Anyone else blubbing at the but about the photo with the suit and her parents, :( i can literally feel how much it meant to you and I'd feel similarly. Your MIL sounds like a nice lady but she shouldn't have thrown it away without asking, that's not something I or many other folk would have done but your attitude is beautiful,you see the good in what she tried to do and take responsibility yourself for the mistake.Please accept that it's not your fault for not telling her not to bin something you gave her, that's really on her! But if you are genuinely not annoyed or blaming her then you are a big person ❤️ maybe you have great perspective having lost your parents and dont see the point in blame or upset when she probably meant to do good? She bought this our of genuine love and care for you and your children, maybe this is the start of a new snowsuit story for your family going forwards ❤️
Life is short.

Sometimes when things like that happen, I think we can show anger for no other reason than to make the other person feel as bad as we do to make ourselves feel better. It would have been pointless telling MIL, or getting angry at her. It wouldn’t have changed anything apart from making her feel shit too when it was partly my fault anyway for not explicitly saying that it was special to me.

I had something pretty horrible happen to me health wise last year and it changed my perspective with regards to how I react to other people. Five years ago, I probably would have blamed her for throwing it away and this would have been an “omg my MIL is a cow” type thread.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 06/01/2022 19:27

@GarethKeenanInvestigates

Just thought I’d update you all on some good news Smile

My eldest was helping FIL clear out his garage today, they were taking excess rubbish bags to the tip first that wouldn’t fit in the black bin after xmas.

ds asked if there was any chance his old red coat was in there as I was a bit upset that I’d lost it. It was Grin that black bag last weekend was one too many for the wheelie bin.

I was always pissed off that PIL refused to recycle anything and put it all in the wheelie bin/tip, but it worked out in my favour this time.

Oh! Happy ending! Grin

That’s so lovely.

SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree · 06/01/2022 19:31

Aw so glad you found it! The bit about your parents buying it made me well up!

Darbs76 · 06/01/2022 19:32

Oh I’m really sorry, that’s very upsetting

Im2022 · 06/01/2022 19:35

I had a tear in my eye reading your post OP. Having a parent with dementia is horrible. Losing something of sentimental value is a horrible gut wrenching feeling.

But I’ve just read your final post: yay!
I’m glad you got it back, so take care of it now!

Driposaurus · 06/01/2022 19:38

What an ending!

Your MiL sound lovely. One day, when it doesn’t mean so much, tell her about it.

Arewethebadguys · 06/01/2022 19:38

Gutted. Crying over here too. Handhold and hugs Flowers

CharityDingle · 06/01/2022 19:41

Ah that's brilliant! I wouldn't let it out of my hands again, tbh.

TheRemotePart · 06/01/2022 19:45

Aw OP you poor lamb. That IS a gutter Sad
I’m not a terribly sentimental person , but that would have me in tears !
Start a new tradition with a new snow suit for future DGC

Hugs.

Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 06/01/2022 19:49

OP. I am really really sad that she threw it out but has there been a bin collection since then? She should never have done that at all. It wasn't hers to throw away and she should and could have phoned you to say what she intended to do before just doing anything.
I truly understand how you feel.
One of my son's used to have a paper round when he was 11 and had a pair of 'magic gloves' as they were called as they were tiny but stretched to fit the hands of most children. They were black and I thought idea l for delivering papers as he wouldn't get the print on his hands.
I still have one of the gloves and if I was offered 1m pounds I wouldn't part with it. It would feel as if I was giving away part of him.
People may laugh, but I'm serious. That boy is now a man of 43 and he'd laugh if he knew I still had it. I just can't throw out certain things my children have worn such as an M&S jumper my other son had aged 3. He's now 49. They will go with me to the long sleep.
You are not irrational. It's the bond we mothers have.

notagain2021 · 06/01/2022 19:50

Oh my ! What an ending I'm glad I popped back on to the thread for a nose

EmoIsntDead · 06/01/2022 19:50

@AutumnAlmanack

What on earth is a snowsuit?
A suit you wear in the snow.

HTH

Rhannion · 06/01/2022 19:51

@GarethKeenanInvestigates

Just thought I’d update you all on some good news Smile

My eldest was helping FIL clear out his garage today, they were taking excess rubbish bags to the tip first that wouldn’t fit in the black bin after xmas.

ds asked if there was any chance his old red coat was in there as I was a bit upset that I’d lost it. It was Grin that black bag last weekend was one too many for the wheelie bin.

I was always pissed off that PIL refused to recycle anything and put it all in the wheelie bin/tip, but it worked out in my favour this time.

That’s fantastic news that you have found it!
TheRemotePart · 06/01/2022 19:52

Aw yay I just caught the end there! What a miracle!

Pegasushaswings · 06/01/2022 19:53

That’s brilliant OP, the power of something or other was at play here!

lazarusb · 06/01/2022 19:57

You’ve made me cry. You sound lovely and I’m so glad you had a happy ending.

driftcompatible · 06/01/2022 20:03

I'm DELIGHTED by the update. HURRAH! It's made my evening. I really wish we could see a picture of it.

Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 06/01/2022 20:05

Yessssss 🎉😆💃🕺👏
Just read that you got it back. I can imagine your joy. So pleased too about your caring attitude towards your MiL, you sound like a
wonderful mum, wife, Dil and all round lovely person. Wishing you a very happy New Year 💐

ArabellaScott · 06/01/2022 20:08

oh my god, you got it back! Absolutely delighted for you, OP. Smile