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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about security guard following me?

182 replies

Astressedmumoftwo · 05/01/2022 13:55

Before Christmas I set off security alarms going INTO my local supermarket. Later found out it was makeup in my bag. On the way back out they went off again and security stopped me and searched my bag.

I go in to grab lunch from work every day and the security guard now follows me around quite obviously and watches me pay for things at self checkout. I find it off putting. I know he's only doing his job but as some one with social anxiety it makes me dread going in because I'm made to feel like I'm doing something wrong
.
There aren't any other shops I could grab lunch in.

I'm lucky it's never happened before, I know. I'm a young looking white 20 something, but even as a teenager I can't recall being followed. I wear nice ish work clothes. No pushchair with me but carry a handbag.

Am I being super unreasonable?

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 05/01/2022 13:59

A bit. The same thing happened to me this morning, alarm went off going in. I don't take any notice and had forgotten about it a few minutes later and certainly didn't clock security watching me.

Just put it out of your mind. My philosophy is I've done nothing wrong, so who cares. If they started to search my bag daily that'd be different.

Original poster
Astressedmumoftwo · 05/01/2022 14:01

I basically collided with him he got to close and came out of nowhere while I was looking at cat food. Kind of hard to ignore

OP posts:
Freecuthbert · 05/01/2022 14:02

I know what you mean OP. I too understand them doing their job, but there was a time I was particularly put on edge being followed about super closely like a criminal when I was trying to buy bras and underwear. Every time I looked at the security guy he had a blank expression while staring directly at me, while I had knickers in my hand. It felt weird. YANBU to feel the way you do, but unless you're being harassed/constantly searched I just think you have to put up with it for now. Hopefully it'll eventually stop.

LethargicActress · 05/01/2022 14:03

Yanbu.

The alarms go off all the time when they aren’t supposed to or because of someone’s simple mistake, it is not fair for you to be treated with suspicion when you’ve done nothing wrong.

OhdearOhdearOhdearIndeed · 05/01/2022 14:09

I would raise this with the store. Explain that a tag was not removed from something you bought from another shop and you had done nothing wrong, but now he follows you around all of the time, which as a young female, you find very creepy.

He is either a bit of a perv or he is taking his job far too seriously and is probably making a lot of other shoppers feel uncomfortable too. It's in the stores best interest that they know how you feel.

elelel · 05/01/2022 14:12

it is not fair for you to be treated with suspicion when you’ve done nothing wrong.

Well, that's the security guards job, to look for any wrong doing. It's absolutely normal for them to stop people who set off alarms. The fact that an alarm went off when OP went into the store is irrelevant. That's a common trick of thieves, so I would say the security guard acted entirely within his job description. It's not about being fair. That comes after its established there was no wrongdoing.

OP don't take it personally. It's his job, you raised a flag. He checked you out. End of story.

Original poster
Astressedmumoftwo · 05/01/2022 14:13

@elelel

it is not fair for you to be treated with suspicion when you’ve done nothing wrong.

Well, that's the security guards job, to look for any wrong doing. It's absolutely normal for them to stop people who set off alarms. The fact that an alarm went off when OP went into the store is irrelevant. That's a common trick of thieves, so I would say the security guard acted entirely within his job description. It's not about being fair. That comes after its established there was no wrongdoing.

OP don't take it personally. It's his job, you raised a flag. He checked you out. End of story.

Yes he checked me out, except now he's trailing me around so he clearly thinks I'm stealing or look dodgy
OP posts:
Namechange12312 · 05/01/2022 14:14

I would straight up ask him why he is following you around, although I guess if you’re feeling anxious then that might be difficult…

I used to get followed in our local Superdrug all the time, no idea why? I started to walk in circles just to wind them up (I’m aware that makes me look more suspicious but honestly it was ridiculous).

elelel · 05/01/2022 14:15

Yes he checked me out, except now he's trailing me around so he clearly thinks I'm stealing or look dodgy

No he is doing his job. You ticked a box by setting off the alarm, it's his job to ensure you don't steal. It is not personal.

ClaudiaWankleman · 05/01/2022 14:15

He checked you out. End of story

Except he established that OP did nothing wrong once, and now assumes that she will do something wrong.

That isn't OK - he should be treating her like any other customer. Shop security is notoriously unreliable.

OP I would challenge him if you feel able. 'Can I help you with something?' when he gets too close. A complaint to a store manager may also help the issue.

elelel · 05/01/2022 14:16

Except he established that OP did nothing wrong once, and now assumes that she will do something wrong.

Yes. That's his job. To assume everyone will do something wrong. Based on his prior knowledge he is acting accordingly.

Totalwasteofpaper · 05/01/2022 14:17

Christ..I'd hate this.

Take a packed lunch and dont give them your business

Agrudge · 05/01/2022 14:17

I work as a security guard . Just a couple of things

  1. They shouldnt of stopped you going into the shop. Mainly as IF you had stolen stuff it wasnt from them and see point 2.
  1. Without witnessing you pick up,and concealing the item. Then keeping you within eyesight. you should then only really stop someone as they are leaving. You need to keep them in eyesight as they could put the item back onto a shelf .

The only time I've broken that 2nd point is when dealing with prolific shoplifters .but when then walk into a store with empty hands and leave a minute later with bags for life full of detergent. It doesnt take a genius the work out they just stole it

Pollingbadly · 05/01/2022 14:19

I would explain the situation to the manager. At the very least security should be discreet. What a rubbish way to catch a thief.

WorraLiberty · 05/01/2022 14:20

Why don't you stop grabbing lunch if it's a problem?

Get enough food for your lunches when doing the weekly shop maybe.

eagerlywaitingfor · 05/01/2022 14:20

How can makeup set an alarm off?

elelel · 05/01/2022 14:22

@Agrudge

It's a common trick played by thieves to have something set off an alarm on the way in, make contact with security guard and then on the way out security (is supposed to) think it's the same item setting off the alarm.

I'm surprised you don't know this

WorraLiberty · 05/01/2022 14:22

1.They shouldnt of stopped you going into the shop. Mainly as IF you had stolen stuff it wasnt from them

This is no how it works in my area, as security guards are shared between the shops. They communicate all the time via radio and people are often caught setting off alarms on the way in with stolen goods.

SoupDragon · 05/01/2022 14:23

Just ignore them. Or smile at them.

I'm curious as to what the relevance of your skin colour was though.

elelel · 05/01/2022 14:23

@eagerlywaitingfor

How can makeup set an alarm off?
A sticker which sets off the alarm is often placed on make up.
madisonbridges · 05/01/2022 14:25

How can makeup set an alarm off?
They have secunity tags on them.

Kite22 · 05/01/2022 14:25

Agree with Elelel

The role of security guard is to suspect everyone. With training and experience, hey will be aware of tricks people use, and their actual job is to make sure they aren't used at their store.

Agrudge · 05/01/2022 14:27

14:19Pollingbadly

Sometimes prevention is better then a cure

Also it could just be a coincidence. I've bean accused of following people many times when all I'm doing just walking around. Although this usually makes me keep an eye on them as it gets me thinking why do they think im watching them .

Theres no one set look for a shoplifter. They come in all shapes,sizes,colour,age,sex. I've seen it all

theemmadilemma · 05/01/2022 14:28

Some amazing MN responses here. Grin

I'd raise it with the store. It's slightly ridiculous targeting for a stupid reason. Him so clearly following you repeatedly isn't achieving anything at this point other than making you feel uncomfortable and I suspect it's not actually what he should be doing. I don't image he's supposed to make himself so visibly targeting someone.

WorraLiberty · 05/01/2022 14:29

@Agrudge

I've seen it all

But you haven't seen shoplifters entering a store with stolen goods from a previous store?