To be upset about security guard following me?

[Astressedmumoftwo]

Before Christmas I set off security alarms going INTO my local supermarket. Later found out it was makeup in my bag. On the way back out they went off again and security stopped me and searched my bag.

I go in to grab lunch from work every day and the security guard now follows me around quite obviously and watches me pay for things at self checkout. I find it off putting. I know he's only doing his job but as some one with social anxiety it makes me dread going in because I'm made to feel like I'm doing something wrong
.
There aren't any other shops I could grab lunch in.

I'm lucky it's never happened before, I know. I'm a young looking white 20 something, but even as a teenager I can't recall being followed. I wear nice ish work clothes. No pushchair with me but carry a handbag.

Am I being super unreasonable?

@Astressedmumoftwo

Full size! He was even watching as I came out the toilets 😳

Do you usually go to the toilets - I assume with your shopping, bags, etc? He may be thinking you go in there to stash things in your bags.

I did think this. I often go to the toilet after paying at self check out. Is that suspicious?

We have two cubicles at work. One is out of order. They're freezing cold and not very pleasant and people can hear you pee from outside.plus no sanitary bins (I only started a couple weeks ago) I much prefer using a supermarkets toilets

He is just doing his job. He is probably bored silly. As others have suggested, I'd just breeze in and say good morning/afternoon to him. 'Ooo its me again, back for my lunch, I'm so hungry today, have they got any prawn sandwiches left, see you tomorrow, have a nice weekend' etc etc until he gets bored of you!

I didn’t see that stopstartstop had written similar.

If the guard isn’t in uniform complain that you are being stalked by a stranger.

I might play hide and seek with him.

@Backtomyoldname

I didn’t see that stopstartstop had written similar.

If the guard isn’t in uniform complain that you are being stalked by a stranger.

complain to whom? only the police could assist here.

shop staff would just refer them to call police

He's in yellow hi vis with security written on the back. Really not inconspicuous. I can see him popping up from the corner of my eye like a big yellow highlighter

@Astressedmumoftwo yeah it's suspicious to use the toilets after you've checked out of self service if you're doing it every day.

If the initial incident was less than two weeks ago and you're a new customer who goes in every day and always uses self service and then the toilet, he's not that unreasonable to be keeping an eye on you.

@9toenails

I do not think you are being unreasonable, OP. I would be put out by this.

But what to do? The security man, as pp point out, is only doing his job.

Certainly you should not do anything that might be construed as wrong, much less illegal. But suppose you were to, say, pick an item or two off a shelf, raise your head and see this man again. Seeing him following you like this might conceivably lead you to (nervously) drop the items on the floor or replace them on a different shelf by mistake.

Who could blame you? Or, even, if the sight of the security man looking at you again startled you so the jar of marmalade you were checking the price of fell from your nerveless grasp and smashed on the floor. ...

Such things happen. It would not be your fault anyone might react so. And it would not be the security man's fault he is only doing his job.

It might make you feel better, though, such an accident. I suspect it would me, in your place.

christ....people think this way??

Oh no :(

@Astressedmumoftwo

Oh no :(

Try going to the toilet first. He'll probably still be at him podium when you come out.

@girlmom21

Is it a full sized supermarket or an express store?

Security guards are weird in smaller stores IME

The one in my local sainsburys was transferred to the big one because he was upsetting so many people 🤣. Really strange man who used to follow women very closely.

I did yesterday. I didn't see him at the store entry. When I came out the loo he wasn't there to watch me leave but he still appeared down an aisle after a minute.

I do like the idea that he's probably sitting there at 1pm waiting for this potential thief to come in and meanwhile I'm just desperate for a wee and to buy a bag of crisps.

@Astressedmumoftwo

I did think this. I often go to the toilet after paying at self check out. Is that suspicious?

We have two cubicles at work. One is out of order. They're freezing cold and not very pleasant and people can hear you pee from outside.plus no sanitary bins (I only started a couple weeks ago) I much prefer using a supermarkets toilets

I did think this. I often go to the toilet after paying at self check out. Is that suspicious?

If there's a pattern, yes I imagine so. Perhaps go once you come in and before you start shopping - not that you have to change your routine for anyone if you're not doing anything wrong. But it could help you look less suspicious.

I remember once years ago that my Dad asked for a torch he could slip easily into his pocket, as his Christmas present. I asked a store guard if he could stay with me while I tried various torches, because it would have looked deeply suspicious if I had been seen simply putting a torch in my pocket!

That is so wrong considering you've been proven innocent when the incident happened. Do you know the regular check out cashiers, can you ask them for advice/ask for details to complain about the security guard?

@Migrainesbythedozen

That is so wrong considering you've been proven innocent when the incident happened. Do you know the regular check out cashiers, can you ask them for advice/ask for details to complain about the security guard?

As many people have said, though, it was only proven that she hadn't stolen anything that day. If it's true this is a common trick for thieves, many security guards would be put off checking the OP the next time she set off the alarms through fear of being accused of targeting her. As far as he knows, that could be her exact intention.

I often go to the toilet after paying at self check out. Is that suspicious?

Op another red flag just dropped in. It's not personal. It's the flags you raise. It's his job.

Every book in my library has a tag to stop theft. These are of the same type as about half the stores with security scanners. These are not deactivated when you borrow a book - the librarian checks them out and passes them to you around the scanner. So before or after any visit to the library I would set off the alarms in loads of shops.

I adopted the procedure of walking into a store at the same time as someone else was exiting. If the alarm sounded any security guard was more interested in the unfortunate shopper exiting. I always tried to exit amongst a larger group of shoppers - leaving security to puzzle as to who had actually tripped the alarm.

I was pregnant at 17, they followed me all the time. I think they thought I had most of the shop in my bump. I started to wander round to annoy them, picking things up and putting them down and wandering off again. Childish but I was a child so that was OK.

I feel your pain but you haven't even got the prospect of losing a bump.

YANBU

If he is focused on you and there are other people inside and coming and going, then he isn’t doing his job because he could be missing out on actual shoplifters and shoplifters would take advantage of this easily. It’s also a bit concerning that he is watching you so closely that you’ve run into him.

You should put in a complaint. He could be doing this to other women and if there are security cameras, add dates and times in case it is possible to look back at previous footage.

Depending on what kind of shop you go into, many have security cameras around self-checkout, some on self-checkout tills and throughout the store so if he is concentrating on just you it could be seen and questioned and he could be given further training.

doing it once or twice after the initial alarm i could understand.

If he's STILL doing it, and its going on for the 5+ day of it i'd make a complaint, and i'd be quite bolshy towards him too.. with the 'can i help you' or asking him to hold the basket.. or even blatantly asking him why he keeps following me like i'm some kind of suspected criminal.

I've had makeup, clearly mine and used, trigger store alarms The security tags can be an absolute bitch to get off of them sometimes.

I would however complain to store management at this point. You haven't done anything wrong, that was checked and proven definitively, and yet you are now being followed avidly every time you enter the store. For their mistake, essentially. You want it stopped.

A security guard did this to me in a supermarket. I filled my basket up then got so fed up...I turned round, left it on the floor in front of him, told him he could put the stuff back on the shelves and walked out!

I’d think you’re being age profiled perhaps. Younger people less likely to have money?

In any case I’d approach him, explain that you are so sorry your makeup set off the alarm before (and explain why the tag was still on it) and in a friendly manner that you are not going to steal.