To be upset about security guard following me?

[Astressedmumoftwo]

Before Christmas I set off security alarms going INTO my local supermarket. Later found out it was makeup in my bag. On the way back out they went off again and security stopped me and searched my bag.

I go in to grab lunch from work every day and the security guard now follows me around quite obviously and watches me pay for things at self checkout. I find it off putting. I know he's only doing his job but as some one with social anxiety it makes me dread going in because I'm made to feel like I'm doing something wrong
.
There aren't any other shops I could grab lunch in.

I'm lucky it's never happened before, I know. I'm a young looking white 20 something, but even as a teenager I can't recall being followed. I wear nice ish work clothes. No pushchair with me but carry a handbag.

Am I being super unreasonable?

Yes. That's his job. To assume everyone will do something wrong. Based on his prior knowledge he is acting accordingly.

No it isn't. It is the security guard's job to assume everyone could do something wrong, and act on that. Not to assume a specific someone will do something wrong based on no proof. Based on his prior knowledge he should be treating her like any other customer who has never been found to be shoplifting.

Maybe he just finds it amusing that you buy cat food for lunch 😉

@WorraLiberty

How would I know they stolen stuff on them?

been awhile since we had a security guard following me post.

14:27Agrudge

I disagree with you that prevention is better than cure when it's taken to an extreme like this and is clearly intimidating. Women are intimidated enough. Security guards shouldn't be using all their resources on one individual who doesn't even have a record. There's a word for that.

yanbu but have you thought of befriending him? smile when you see him, say hi, ask how his day is going...you will either make his day or drive him crackers.

[quote Agrudge]@WorraLiberty

How would I know they stolen stuff on them?[/quote]
Oh I don't know...silly little signs like the security tags being on the items and no receipt to prove they'd paid 😂

Ask to speak with the store manager. Sometimes it can be as simple as you have the same profile as a known offender and security has been told to keep an eye out for people who match X description, and the store can advise him that this person is not you.

From his / the store’s perspective it doesn’t matter whether he’s obvious about following suspects or covert: the purpose is to prevent thefts, which is just as successfully done by making thieves aware they’re being watched.

@elelel

it is not fair for you to be treated with suspicion when you’ve done nothing wrong.

Well, that's the security guards job, to look for any wrong doing. It's absolutely normal for them to stop people who set off alarms. The fact that an alarm went off when OP went into the store is irrelevant. That's a common trick of thieves, so I would say the security guard acted entirely within his job description. It's not about being fair. That comes after its established there was no wrongdoing.

OP don't take it personally. It's his job, you raised a flag. He checked you out. End of story.

It was established that she didn't steal anything and now the guy is following her AFTER that. He's targeting her unfairly and she should definitely complain.

@elelel

Lol after the amount time I've been doing the job I'm aware the alot of the "tricks" they use .

But I wouldnt follow someone around just because they set a alarm off coming into a store. Unless there was something about them that made me suspicious.

If you think he's following you why not have a bit of fun and do laps around the shop, up and down the same aisles, that's what I'd do and give him a sly grin as you leave. Failing that just speak to the manager of the shop.

He's following you because you don't look dodgy, and therefore are far easier to deal with than you might be if you were a large male. He's not doing his job, he's avoiding doing his job of watching all the customers, and possibly needing to approach a more challenging target, while looking like he's doing something. I would ask to speak to the store manager as over surveillance like this is discriminatory.

i know you have anxiety so prob couldn't do this, but id go up to him on the way in and say something like "are you ready? lets go and do the shopping, come on then" and get him to come with you. id do it every time i go in.

I would speak to him the next time he gets too close. Something like "can I help you?" or "is everything OK?"

I would also raise it with the store. At the end of the day, even though he is doing his job, he is not really being discreet and you had actually done nothing wrong. So this is now making you feel uncomfortable about shopping there. Tell them that. I doubt that this is the first time this has happened.

@eagerlywaitingfor

How can makeup set an alarm off?

It still had a security sticker on it.

Myself and my DD had something similar happen when we were in one of the popular discount stores .Neither of us had a bag or pockets come to that as it was summer so wearing loose clothes .As soon as we walked in my DD noticed we were being watched very intentley then we heard staff comparing us to a description of a woman and girl shoplifter that had been in a previous store .App the only thing the same , the woman had long dark hair like me so on that basis they followed us .I just carried on shopping but my DD took great pleasure in making it clear she knew and they were totally wrong .Infact they did it so badly the true shoplifter would have clocked them immediately. My DS who Is supermarket manager said that I should have spoken to the store as the staff needed some serious re training but never bothered forgot all about it until I read this .

@elelel

Yes he checked me out, except now he's trailing me around so he clearly thinks I'm stealing or look dodgy

No he is doing his job. You ticked a box by setting off the alarm, it's his job to ensure you don't steal. It is not personal.

It is personal though because the incident was explained at the time and it's very usual to set off alarms going into somewhere. Also searching the OP's bag was unnecessary. I do think it's creepy for a bloke to follow a young woman around when there's no need and I would say something in the OP's position. OP if you don't want to do that because you feel anxious, do you have a older (bolchy) friend/colleague (like me) who can go in with you? I would happily say something on your behalf if I were your colleague.

Bolshy not bolchy!

How can makeup set an alarm off

loads of things do if they have a sticker or RFID tag on and they haven't been deactivated. For example library books!

Why don't you politely ask him if there's anything you can help him with? I would 😂

What does a pushchair have to do with it?

[quote WorraLiberty]@Agrudge

I've seen it all

But you haven't seen shoplifters entering a store with stolen goods from a previous store?[/quote]
But why would that be an issue going into a different store? If I have nicked eg sausages from Waitrose, I doubt a security guard in Boots would care, unless there was an alert out about me! And then it would have to be something valuable, or it was a regular thing.

In reply to the why is my skin colour relevant. Someone was bound to ask. Unfortunately people are racially profiled when it comes to this sort of thing. Most people with darker skin experience being followed around by security guards far more often IME.

As others have said, I think you need to have a word with the store manager. Tell them the same as what you told us.

Women with pushchairs are apparently seen as more likely suspects as people use them to stash things under baskets to steal .

I admit my DD did once steal a card under the rain cover without me knowing years ago. I took it straight back when I noticed!!