Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this restaurant Bill split should have been done differently?

339 replies

2020too · 04/01/2022 19:01

My Mom treated me to a restaurant voucher for Christmas as we tend to buy experiences rather than items.

She deliberately picked this restaurant as is a lovely place and I also get 33% off because of where I work - she saw this as stretching the money further.

We have an annually occuring meet up in the lull between Christmas and NYE with 2 couples from our hobby group non-specified as it might be outing

We meet up with them every few months for a meal and drinks at various places as well as seeing them frequently for hobbying. We rally enjoy their company.

It was one of other couple's pick of venue last week. They suggested this restaurant in the group chat, and I said great because my discount would apply and so we booked in mid December for last week.

As we sat down for the meal, I told my DH to remind me to use the voucher when the bill cane as I'm likely to forget - my menopause isn't serving my brain well . The others commented on what a nice present and then conversation turned to their Christmas presents etc.

Now for the sums

The bill for 3 couples was £450.

My discount brought it diwn to £300.

£345 with the tip.

£115 per couple.

One of the others reminded me about my voucher .

So to me that meant we had £65 to pay.

Someone spoke up and said, okay so that's 345 less the voucher = 295 to pay, let's call it £100 per couple, yeah.

So that's what we did

I bloody know I need to work in my assertiveness kills and I absolutely won't be addressing the issue, as I'm not a boat rocker. I also am aware that I didn't explicitly say that this was just for me and DH, because in no way would I have thought anyone would have thought elsewise.

YANBU: most people wouldn't have included the voucher as a joint contribution?

YABU they were totally reasonable to deduct the voucher off the total bill before dividing into thirds.

Never had any Bill splitting problems before with these, and £35 inequality wouldn't stop me socialising with them again. I'm just a very bit Confused

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 05/01/2022 20:15

2 couples from our hobby group

Doesn’t anyone just have “friends” any more?

You needlessly mentioned the voucher in company, that’s tantamount to an offer. If you were that bothered, you should have said “no, it’s just for me”

Does your husband always disappear when the bill is being paid?

BoredZelda · 05/01/2022 20:19

Are you sharing your Christmas presents with your friends too?

I got two bottles of wine, I opened them to share with my friend and her parents. I also shared my chocolates with my siblings who visited. We bought my daughter a game she plays with us and her friends. The sharing of presents isn’t entirely unusual.

wineandsprite · 05/01/2022 20:21

@BoredZelda

2 couples from our hobby group

Doesn’t anyone just have “friends” any more?

You needlessly mentioned the voucher in company, that’s tantamount to an offer. If you were that bothered, you should have said “no, it’s just for me”

Does your husband always disappear when the bill is being paid?

She mentioned it to her husband only.

What does it matter if one half of a couple disappears at the same time as the bill comes out? Why are you trying to make out he's trying to avoid paying? 😂

wineandsprite · 05/01/2022 20:23

@BoredZelda

Are you sharing your Christmas presents with your friends too?

I got two bottles of wine, I opened them to share with my friend and her parents. I also shared my chocolates with my siblings who visited. We bought my daughter a game she plays with us and her friends. The sharing of presents isn’t entirely unusual.

And in your mind, sharing your £9.99 bottles of wine and some chocolates is the same as what has gone on here where OP is actually now down 50 quid? And what exactly does your daughter lose by sharing her board game? 😂😂
Kitkat151 · 05/01/2022 20:25

@BoredZelda

Are you sharing your Christmas presents with your friends too?

I got two bottles of wine, I opened them to share with my friend and her parents. I also shared my chocolates with my siblings who visited. We bought my daughter a game she plays with us and her friends. The sharing of presents isn’t entirely unusual.

Shared her game 🤣🤣...🙄
positivevibesonly22 · 05/01/2022 20:35

Omg. So you got a third off for all in the first place (which some people might say eliminates your bill Grin) and then got misled out of your voucher which is the same as bloody money. So annoying. That was your Christmas present. Tbf tho. I'd have said at the time. Ummm. No. My bill is money plus my voucher equals my share.

Forensicpsych · 05/01/2022 20:39

I struggle with assertiveness in settings like these and even I would have been able to say ‘oh no sorry, the voucher is my Christmas present so we owe £65, I’ll stick that on a card’

Your mum paid towards their meals!

anon666 · 05/01/2022 20:47

They were out of order. I'd be annoyed if I were you.

You'd already got them 33% off! Angry

puffyisgood · 05/01/2022 20:51

YANBU, obviously, unless of course other guests were randomly sharing out their Christmas presents (such as, say, new shoes, tablet computers, handbags, etc).

OfCourseIDontMind · 05/01/2022 21:53

From how I read this, it sounds like you openly asked your husband to remind you to use the voucher. You said this in front of your friends, they commented on how nice it was. So they may have thought you were being generous and sharing with everyone.
When the bill came and your friend reminded you of it, because your husband had stepped away and you wanted to be reminded of it.
Your talking about using the voucher may have appeared to be an act of generosity?

If it was me personally, I would not have expected you to share my bill and I would have double checked rather than making any assumptions.
I'm so sorry you were taken advantage of.

HikingforScenery · 05/01/2022 22:30

Cheeky!
After all the discount through your work, they should have offered to pay your £65 too!

lothermand · 05/01/2022 22:50

OP I think you just put this one down to experience. Reading back over your OP, it appears that whilst you were discussing the use of the voucher with DH, your friends were eavesdropping, I think that's where they kind of (cheekily) thought you were sharing that.

I don't think you need to dump these friends, I'm pretty sure if it were explained to them they'd agree with you.

Just suck it up, be more canny next timeWink

gingerbiscuits · 05/01/2022 23:03

@ZenNudist

Shitty friends. The voucher was your money. You should have spoken up at the time.
100% this!⬆️ What lousy friends - they'd already had the benefit of your discount! But why on earth didn't you put them straight & remind them that YOUR voucher was one of YOUR Christmas presents & ONLY applied to YOU?!
gingerbiscuits · 05/01/2022 23:04

Also, why didn't your husband say anything either??

telvg · 05/01/2022 23:57

£45 tip???!!!

Enough4me · 06/01/2022 00:10

I thinknthe meal was £450 without discounts so 10% tip is £45.

Mamanyt · 06/01/2022 01:39

This sort of thing is the entire reason that I, when ordering, always tell my server, "I would like a separate check, please." Let the others haggle as they will. I also leave my own tip, for the same reason. It makes for less arguments.

MimiDaisy11 · 06/01/2022 02:47

@gingerbiscuits

Also, why didn't your husband say anything either??
He was away at the toilet.
Malibuismysecrethome · 06/01/2022 03:33

I think a £30 tip would have been adequate. Somehow I don’t think your waitress or waiter goes home at the end of the shift with £45 extra.
I know it’s supposed to be shared with other staff but restaurants should pay their staff.
You paid a big tip but are upset about your voucher.

changeyourname11111 · 06/01/2022 06:29

I would be dumping these awful friends. I am quite annoyed on your behalf.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 06/01/2022 08:22

You paid a big tip but are upset about your voucher.

It's clearly the principle and how the 'friends' made OP feel taken advantage of - they obviously aren't on their uppers if they all willingly went to an expensive restaurant like that.

feyzer · 06/01/2022 08:47

I think this is very rude of them OP. Personally, I would not be impressed. It’s not the amount of money, it’s the principle.

I’m surprised the other couple didn’t speak up when this particular friend deducted your voucher from the total bill. 2 couples and nobody clicked?

All I can think of, is that they didn’t really listen when you were discussing Xmas presents and they just thought the voucher was something to do with your work and you had brought it specifically?

PainterMummy · 06/01/2022 08:49

I put YABU - because you shouldn’t have mentioned the voucher nor used it at a group dinner. By saying you had a voucher could very well be interpreted that we’re going to use the voucher against the total bill just as you did your work related discount. Had you said from the start that you had a work discount you could apply to the total bill and that you had a voucher for your meal from a Xmas present, people would not have assumed. just not mixing both types of deductions would be the better plan in future.

billy1966 · 06/01/2022 09:01

You sound lovely OP, unlike your friends who sound really tacky.

The 33% off sounds like a bonus, but to assume your voucher from your mother was also included is really rude and grabby.

I don't believe that is an assumption real friends would make.

They are really cheap, CF's.

Flowers
Dibbydoos · 06/01/2022 09:02

You can't complain if at the time you knew you were being taken advantage of and did nothing. Be a manchuria, you'd def have said something!

Having said tgat they are cheeky twats I'd def mention it. You used your Xmas present on them!

Swipe left for the next trending thread