To not give a lift to a stranger?

[LondonQueen]

Tonight I went to grab a few things from the shops with my DS as they didn't come on my usual online shop. As I was leaving the store, with DS holding my hand, a woman came up to me and asked for a lift to a street I hadn't heard of, which she assured me wasn't far and was near a local landmark (said landmark is about a 10 minutes drive from the shop)
I normally would have said yes but there was something off about this woman. I said No, sorry I have to go and pick up DD in the opposite direction. Despite this she followed me to my car! I politely but firmly said please step away from my car as you're scaring my DS. She walked away and asked again, I ignored her and got in the car and locked my doors. As I drove away, she walked up to another car with a young looking teenager walking towards it. WIBU to say no? Like I said I normally would give someone a lift so close but she made me feel uncomfortable, especially with DS with me. DH said he would have given her a lift as she was clearly in need or wouldn't ask! Please reassure me I did the right thing, or tell me I should stop being so paranoid.

I've been in the opposite position. I used to work in a nursing home & one day we had a workman (about 10 yrs older than me) in who was chatty & friendly to us all. As I was leaving at work at 2 he was also finished & asked if I wanted a lift back rather than catch the bus. Felt a bit awkward but said yes. He was very chatty & I had nothing to worry about but as soon as I got in the car I knew I shouldn't have as if it was one of my grown up daughters I would have had a fit at them! For that reason I never told my husband & girls or even my mates at work!

@riceuten

No, you were not, and the fact she followed you to the car probably said it. I am occasionally cheeky and try and blag a lift from people I don't know, but if they say no, then that's that.

A few years ago I was in a foreign country (whose language I speak reasonably well) and I was walking to the bus stop to catch the bus from the village to the nearest town, and bugger me, the bus was 10 minutes early and left me at the stop. As I stood there, a woman saw me and opened the door to her car and said "Hop in" in the local lingo - given it was an hour to the next bus and it was heaving down with rain, my normally guarded self said "Sod it" and she gave me a lift and refused payment. The irony was we spent 5 mins talking in the local dialect, and then she said "Are you English?" I said "Yes, are you?" - "No, Irish" and we both burst out laughing.

@riceuten that last bit of your story made me laugh

Perhaps she needed help but you probs did the sensible thing.

@NewYearCalavicci

That does sound very odd , did she give a reason as to why she needed a lift , ie in a rush , car broke down , let down by someone else ?

Are there no buses or local cabs ?
I hate to see people stuck so I would of possibly rang a cab for her and given a few quid towards it

Highly unlikely it was a genuine request for a lift

Absolutely not. I know a poor man who once was asked to give a women a lift outside a supermarket. She said I’m being hurt and I need to go to a street around 10 mins away. He said yes. Half way there she said give me £100 or I will ring the police and tell them you tried to rape me.
HE HAD A DASH CAM WHICH RECORDED THE WHOLE THING. He didn’t even think and stopped the car and rang police. She stayed!! And waited for them!! When they came she accused him of attempted rape and it was only when the police officer said do you have a camera? The man remembered. She tried to run away, she was charged and let off. The poor man was traumatised by the whole thing I don’t think he will ever get over it. Can’t give details but he was a well known (locally) handy man. He never did that work again because he couldn’t go in strangers homes.

Can you report it? She sounds mental.

@tttigress

Can you report it? She sounds mental.

RTFT (or at least the OP's posts), she has reported it now.

Sunneysideup
Did your Uncle live in South Wales by any chance?

You absolutely did the right thing. ALWAYS listen to your gut instincts on things like this. I do not know how available is is in the UK, but see if you can get the book, "The Gift of Fear," by Gavin de Becker. It talks in depth about how our "gut instincts" work, and how we put ourselves in danger by not paying attention to them.

@TragoCardboardCopper that happened to a friend of my dad's in the early 80s. A lovely guy, he used to pick up hitch hikers occasionally, his thinking being that at least they were safe with him giving them a lift. Picked up a girl who pulled the exact same stunt, demanded cash or she'd report him for rape. He called her bluff and reported the incident after she got out of the car. She didn't report him, but he never picked up a hitchhiker again.

[quote lhirault]@TragoCardboardCopper that happened to a friend of my dad's in the early 80s. A lovely guy, he used to pick up hitch hikers occasionally, his thinking being that at least they were safe with him giving them a lift. Picked up a girl who pulled the exact same stunt, demanded cash or she'd report him for rape. He called her bluff and reported the incident after she got out of the car. She didn't report him, but he never picked up a hitchhiker again. [/quote]
Why the hell don't the police ever charge these women, even when they have evidence? Rape allegations can tarnish a reputation forever even if unfounded.

No, never. You don't know what or who is waiting at the other end...do you?
Not in a million years. Funny that she was asking a mum on her own then to a young person. Why didn't she get a taxi. The shop would have rung one if she had no mobile. Let her get home the same way she got to the shop.

I go by gut instinct and weighing up the situation. If you feel it is not right you should not allow any stranger to come into your car.
I have given lifts before, but I want to know how far, and it needs to be convenient to me. There have been exceptions, I once gave an 18 year old girl a 40 mile lift in the wrong direction as she hailed me down in the middle of a freezing night in skimpy clothing. Her dad's expensive car was in the ditch and tangled with a fence in the middle of the countryside. He had lent it to her to go to a disco with her friends on her birthday and she pranged it but was unhurt. Bizarre but true. I must say she cannot have been driving insured. But I got her home and left immediately as I was very tired and had to get to work in a few hours.
Another lift was some sod I asked the way from, in London. The guy insisted he could show me the way if i gave him a lift; but I realised he was the worse for drink. I was really stupid, as he sat there quietly and then threw up all over my very nice car. I literally kicked him out into the gutter. It was winter and I had to scrub up the inside of my car. It was weeks before the car was close to OK inside; I had to do all my driving with the heater on full and the windows open.

The woman may have been in need, be it practical or for a mental health issue. You were right to trust your instinct, but I think you should have called 101 to report it.

>>HE HAD A DASH CAM WHICH RECORDED THE WHOLE THING. He didn’t even think and stopped the car and rang police. She stayed!! And waited for them!! When they came she accused him of attempted rape and it was only when the police officer said do you have a camera? The man remembered. She tried to run away, she was charged and let off.<<

I don't think it's true, as the law is usually more harsh on women doing things like that while men who harm women are let off. If he has evidence there's no way she wouldn't be charged.