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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give a lift to a stranger?

190 replies

LondonQueen · 03/01/2022 19:01

Tonight I went to grab a few things from the shops with my DS as they didn't come on my usual online shop. As I was leaving the store, with DS holding my hand, a woman came up to me and asked for a lift to a street I hadn't heard of, which she assured me wasn't far and was near a local landmark (said landmark is about a 10 minutes drive from the shop)
I normally would have said yes but there was something off about this woman. I said No, sorry I have to go and pick up DD in the opposite direction. Despite this she followed me to my car! I politely but firmly said please step away from my car as you're scaring my DS. She walked away and asked again, I ignored her and got in the car and locked my doors. As I drove away, she walked up to another car with a young looking teenager walking towards it. WIBU to say no? Like I said I normally would give someone a lift so close but she made me feel uncomfortable, especially with DS with me. DH said he would have given her a lift as she was clearly in need or wouldn't ask! Please reassure me I did the right thing, or tell me I should stop being so paranoid.

OP posts:
NameChangeCity123 · 03/01/2022 19:17

@phishy

YANBU. Never ignore your instincts.
Absolutely this
SlowBoiledFrog · 03/01/2022 19:17

You did the right thing but personally I would have watched that the teenager was ok

ToykotoLosAngeles · 03/01/2022 19:17

Nope. I've read articles where the person jumps out after the lift and grabs your bag/wallet at the last second.

AlbertBridge · 03/01/2022 19:18

I'm so glad you followed your instincts. My mum once turned down a lift from a man who gave her a weird vibe, and a year or so later later she read he'd been arrested for killing a woman... 😱

I'm scared for the teenager she approached after you. Lots of teenagers lack the confidence to say no. I hope she's ok.

JackTheHack · 03/01/2022 19:19

Sounds like you were targeted by her
Always go with your gut, you had a child with you

Aurorie11 · 03/01/2022 19:20

I did once, she was about 20 years younger than me an overseas student. We were on the same train, and she was asking how to get to a pub car park as she was meeting someone on her next travelling job. I recognised the name of the person local business person, I had 15 minutes to spare so dropped her off. She gave me a pen!
Wouldn’t have offered in your circumstances

SeasonFinale · 03/01/2022 19:20

No it is a well known car jacking type scam. I would have gone back and helped the teenager she was approaching.

PinkButtercups · 03/01/2022 19:20

If alert the police if you're concerned tbh.
I wouldn't give her a lift.

I could be looking into it too much but just the way my mind works. She could be setting someone up. Child trafficking who knows?

Like that time and they probably still do it when they were leaving empty car seats and waiting for lone women to get out their car to attack them.

Original poster
LondonQueen · 03/01/2022 19:22

@NewYearCalavicci

That does sound very odd , did she give a reason as to why she needed a lift , ie in a rush , car broke down , let down by someone else ?

Are there no buses or local cabs ?
I hate to see people stuck so I would of possibly rang a cab for her and given a few quid towards it

She didn't give a reason. There are definitely taxis in the area as I have taken one myself this morning. The buses are currently striking in my area so that may be why she needed a lift. (could be slightly outing!)
OP posts:
pasturesgreen · 03/01/2022 19:25

God, no! Absolutely no way I'd give a lift to a stranger. And your DH is a bit too blasé about it: men can and do fall victim to scams and street crime, too.

The woman wasn't stranded in the middle of nowhere, she could have gone into a shop if she needed assistance. The fact she approached two potentially vulnerable members of the public (a woman with a child and a teen) is in itself suspicious.

Georgeskitchen · 03/01/2022 19:25

YANBU I wouldn't either under those circumstances
Very weird

Original poster
LondonQueen · 03/01/2022 19:26

@pasturesgreen

God, no! Absolutely no way I'd give a lift to a stranger. And your DH is a bit too blasé about it: men can and do fall victim to scams and street crime, too.

The woman wasn't stranded in the middle of nowhere, she could have gone into a shop if she needed assistance. The fact she approached two potentially vulnerable members of the public (a woman with a child and a teen) is in itself suspicious.

That's what I thought, there were other people around and the shop is open til 11pm so she could have gone inside to ask for assistance.
OP posts:
TheMooch · 03/01/2022 19:29

You did the right thing.

Only time I've given a lift to a stranger was at a library and a woman was telling the librarian she had to get to someone's house who she was tutoring. Weather was vile and dark. So I drove her there. But I got good vibes from her and librarian seemed to know her pretty well. (She would get a lift back home from family she was doing the tutoring for - I did check).

Saz12 · 03/01/2022 19:29

No way!

Would you approach a total stranger for a 10-minute car ride? Without public transport, you’d just walk, or thumb a lift, or take a cab, or call someone, surely? She got herself to the shop so she should surely eg oh be able to get herself home again.

dottiedodah · 03/01/2022 19:30

Well it's a big fat no from me I'm afraid. Too risky by half .scaring your ds and not taking no for an answer .never ignore your instincts

HoneyFlowers · 03/01/2022 19:33

I had this years ago, was paying for goods at Tesco's and someone came up to me saying I could give them a lift home. The checkout lady called security and both woman and security guard followed me to the car. She wouldn't take no for an answer! Very strange.

MarineBlue33 · 03/01/2022 19:33

Was she Eastern European? I ask as there are gangs operating, definitely in London from that region, and it could be that she wasn't working alone.

OmgIThinkILikeYou · 03/01/2022 19:33

There is no way on this planet i would have given her a lift. I would probably have watched the situation with the teenager and followed them of she got in their car too.

JacquelineCarlyle · 03/01/2022 19:34

I've given lifts to strangers in the past (one a young girl who was walking along the road and was clearly drunk, so thought I'd rather get her home safely than leave her to her own devices & one a clearly distressed elderly lady who was crying at the side of the road).

Never have I given a lift to someone who made me feel scared or uncomfortable and nor would I. You did the right thing Op.

Catastrophejane · 03/01/2022 19:34

Sounds like a scam to me. I also think you get approached more by this kind of weirdo because they think you’re a soft touch because you have a kid.

I’m guessing- as PPs have suggested- that she would’ve nicked your bag when she reached the destination.

You wouldn’t be in a position to chase if you have a young child in a car seat. That’s why she picked you. It’s also why she persisted. Too good an opportunity not to keep trying.

morbidd · 03/01/2022 19:35

You certainly did the right thing. Always trust your gut.

CurzonDax · 03/01/2022 19:39

No way would I ever give a stranger a lift. If they needed help, I'd be more than happy to walk back to the shop, and get some assistance for them, and would stay by to make sure everything was okay. Without a hesitation, I would dial 999 for anyone who really looked as though they were in trouble, and would wait with them for the emergency services to arrive. But allow them to come with me, in my enclosed car? Never.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 03/01/2022 19:41

Tbf this is quite common in my town. People have seen me walking in the rain and offered me lifts. We only live about a 15 min walk from town centre but up a steep hill. So I've been offered lifts when it's been rainy/snowy or I've had too much stuff. People also ask for lifts quite comfortably but never pester if refused.

Stressybetty · 03/01/2022 19:42

I had this with a teenager in the summer. Came up to me in Lidl carpark in bare feet asking to be taken a few miles away as her shoes had broken. Said she needed to get back to the next town which was 20 mins drive in the other direction from where she had said. I was in a rush and wasn't going that way and she walked off to a couple who let her in their car. Felt bad about it but just didn't feel right being in the car alone with her.

KittensTeaAndCake · 03/01/2022 19:43

@ToykotoLosAngeles

Nope. I've read articles where the person jumps out after the lift and grabs your bag/wallet at the last second.

Or your child 😱

I would've checked the teenager was ok too, hopefully she told her no too.