To not give a lift to a stranger?

[LondonQueen]

Tonight I went to grab a few things from the shops with my DS as they didn't come on my usual online shop. As I was leaving the store, with DS holding my hand, a woman came up to me and asked for a lift to a street I hadn't heard of, which she assured me wasn't far and was near a local landmark (said landmark is about a 10 minutes drive from the shop)
I normally would have said yes but there was something off about this woman. I said No, sorry I have to go and pick up DD in the opposite direction. Despite this she followed me to my car! I politely but firmly said please step away from my car as you're scaring my DS. She walked away and asked again, I ignored her and got in the car and locked my doors. As I drove away, she walked up to another car with a young looking teenager walking towards it. WIBU to say no? Like I said I normally would give someone a lift so close but she made me feel uncomfortable, especially with DS with me. DH said he would have given her a lift as she was clearly in need or wouldn't ask! Please reassure me I did the right thing, or tell me I should stop being so paranoid.

It's strange behaviour and you were absolutely correct to say no.

Her persistence was so strange she could have been in danger or about to put you in danger. If it was the former she went the wrong way about getting you to help.

I once had a strange situation - two women came into my apartment under a seemingly plausible explanation. They were older and looked in no way intimidating.

I was helping them with their 'problem' when I saw a look exchanged between them then one of them casually asked if I was home alone. I said no my husband is in the office there and pointed down the corridor. I opened the front door and said I was really busy. One then said she felt very faint could she have some water. I couldn't shift the bad feeling and stood outside repeating they would have to go now. They left. I locked up.

Shortly afterwards I discovered there had been a number of robberies involving women which matched their description. As soon as the inhabitant was out of sight they let in their partners.

You did the right thing and followed your gut. Plus you also had a responsibility to your son to not put him in potential harm if any doubt.

No never!! She's a stranger! She could have a knife or any other weapon hidden on her, you don't know thos woman so she should be treated as a risk as these days you can't be too careful. I would never let someone i didn't know in my car, ever. You done completely the right thing, it must have been scary for you and your DS. The fact that you had your DS with you makes it more risky and more reason to say no. Never feel guilty for protecting yourself and keeping your son safe.

I’ve offered lifts twice and been taken up by strangers. There were specific reasons in each case that person clearly would be helped by lift but was not expecting it. But I’d be very suspicious of someone directly approaching me to ask for a lift outright and wouldn’t have said yes

Women are often used to bait victims since they look unassuming. They will lure you to a place where their partner, friends or brother will carry out the robbery.

Though having said that, there are some crazy entitled people out there. I'm part of a local FB group where one member constantly posts asking for stuff such as a free 2hr car ride to a specific town or an invite to anyone's New Years party. Obviously FB is not the same as asking a total stranger on the street but still very odd behaviour.

You did the right thing. Sounds very bizarre.

I gave a fellow patient at my GPs surgery a lift home as she would otherwise need a taxi.
She lived further away than she told me and was very critical of my driving (I drive fine!)
No thank you at the end either.
Wish I had given her a real white knuckle drive 😀

No not if I had a weird feeling from them.
It really depends on the situation, Dsis often stops in the rain for drowned parents on the school route or elderly people who look sad/cold at the bus stop.

I have had this a few times in supermarket carparks. Both from youngish women who continued to be very persistent after initial polite refusals, it was a bit disconcerting being followed across a large carpark from an increasingly clingy individual. One of them tried to open the passenger door before a very firm 'fuck off' from me sent them on their way. Not sure what the motives were but I think they prey on your average persons politeness and unwillingness for confrontation.

There is no way on this earth, I would let a stranger get in a car with me, help amd assist in another way, yes but putting me or my children in a vulnerable situation, not a chance!

One time, my partner was driving and there was a couple who had broken down, he pulled over to see if he could assist and they had already called breakdown but they did ask if the wife could have a lift. Didn't feel awful saying no at all!

Although, I remember when I was a kid and my step dad was driving, it was absolutely pouring with rain and he saw a lady carrying a boat load of shopping, her bag split and she was massively struggling. My step dad pulled over and offered her a lift, I remember her looking proper anxious and then she saw me and my 2 siblings and chanced it 😅

Hi I believe you were correct to trust your gut instinct. Another legal requirement to consider, are you insured to give people you do not know rides in your car. If you had been involved in an accident, be assured they will peruse a legal claim for financial gain.
Also your personal safety could be at risk.
You did the right thing

I would definitely not have given her a lift.

No ,always go with your gut

@DillonPanthersTexas

I have had this a few times in supermarket carparks. Both from youngish women who continued to be very persistent after initial polite refusals, it was a bit disconcerting being followed across a large carpark from an increasingly clingy individual. One of them tried to open the passenger door before a very firm 'fuck off' from me sent them on their way. Not sure what the motives were but I think they prey on your average persons politeness and unwillingness for confrontation.

Yep, never be afraid to tell someone to "fuck off". You owe no one politeness.

DH said he would have given her a lift
No shit, as a man he probably doesn't even think about his route home after a night out, nor would he carry his keys in his hand. OP, I didn't see if you mentioned whether the teenager was male or female, I hope they're alright.

I know that Mumsnet has a reputation for suggesting that posters report trivia to 101 but this feels really dodgy and you ought to at least use your local police force's online form to report this (link is Suffolk but the same principle applies anywhere).

www.suffolk.police.uk/sites/suffolk/files/reporting_suspicious_behaviour.pdf

hope the teenager was okay too, horrible situation.

In this country? Never. It is not that it is that dangerous but with such strict rules about what are proper and improper interactions with strangers I would feel a bit alarmed if someone insisted that much in getting into my car.

Smart move OP, she was obviously up to no good, especially as she followed you.

Your DH is BU.

For those asking, the teenager was male. However I still think she was most likely trying to steal bags, wallets etc.

Surely when legitimately asking for a lift (not that I ever have) you begin with the reason?

"I wonder if you can help me? My car has broken down, i don't have enough for a taxi and I need to get to X as quickly as I can as I have a child to collect from school. Would you able to give me a lift? I really don't have anyone I know that I can ask"

Really sounds like a scam.

I think people are daft to think they can just trust their instincts to make potentially dangerous situations. You need to think sensibly and logically about situations not base them on instincts.

I wouldn’t have given the woman a lift because she was so pushy and because I wouldn’t have wanted to.

Hell no! Would have freaked me out especially if I had my kids with me. X

I wouldn’t give a lift to anyone, young or old.

I know that Mumsnet has a reputation for suggesting that posters report trivia to 101 but this feels really dodgy

This!

I was just coming on to say the same thing. My mum got pestered and verbally abused by a man. She logged using the online form and thought that would be the last of it

She was very surprised when 2 coppers turned up at her door. They really do take these situations seriously

@DdraigGoch
Thank you, I have just filled out an online report form on my local police forces website.
DH is definitely of the "it won't happen to me" camp and doesn't really consider risks, despite being mugged in London a few years back on a night out!

I’m most shocked that you would normally say yes?!

I normally would have said yes but there was something off about this woman