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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is not appropriate to put Harry Potter on for a 4.5 year old??

164 replies

Athysuisse · 03/01/2022 12:56

I dropped my daughter off at her Grandma's (my MIL) yesterday afternoon as my husband and I have had very little time to be together one on one and she offered. We grabbed a bite to eat and went for a walk. Altogether gone about 4 hours.

We returned to get her and I asked what they had been up to. My MIL proudly told me they had watched the first Harry Potter together.

My daughter is 4.5 years old and up until now has only watched things like Peppa Pig, Cocomelon, Peter Rabbit, Frozen etc. I didn't say anything to her then, but told my OH soon as we got in the car that I felt that was too mature for her.

He accused me of just nitpicking. I asked my daughter if the film was ok and she said 'it was ok, but a bit scary.' Sure enough, last night she came into our bed and said she had a bad dream.

I told my OH I thought her bad dream was because of what she had watched. He told me I am being extreme and it is a harmless film. I still feel annoyed by it though! It doesn't feel totally innocent given its dark theme. I wouldn't mind if she was a few years older, but 4.5 seems a bit young for that stuff. AIBU?

OP posts:
Footnote · 03/01/2022 12:57

I watched Harry Potter 1 yesterday, and was thinking at several points that my 4.5 year old would be terrified.

Footnote · 03/01/2022 12:58

(I watched it alone in the evening)

Newyearoldyou · 03/01/2022 12:59

I think much stuff wouid go over her head it's not that scary but she may have enjoyed the broom stick side.

It's not what I would put on for that age but I don't think it's a huge issue. I can see why they may have thought it would be fun. But some children are really sensitive.

I would just kindly say some scenes may be too much, would you mind sticking to u rating or running it past me.

georgarina · 03/01/2022 12:59

I would agree she's too young but I also wouldn't be too bothered. Simple mistake for someone to make if they're not parenting a young child anymore.

My grandma watched the Blair Witch Project with me when I was 5. I would definitely classify that as inappropriate!!

Somuddled · 03/01/2022 13:00

Surely it is highly unlikely that a 4 year old sat still throughout an entire feature film and perhaps your mil skipped through or distracted her at scary parts?

Notimeforaname · 03/01/2022 13:01

Never seen Harry Potter but all the small children I know have.

FionnulaTheCooler · 03/01/2022 13:02

The first Harry Potter is rated PG, same as Frozen, so I can understand why your MIL would think you were OK with it.

Bitofachinwag · 03/01/2022 13:02

Far too young. Some people are in such a rush to get children to watch films that aren't really for their age range.

endofthelinefinally · 03/01/2022 13:02

Your husband is ignorant. He needs to learn some basic things about child development and parenting. Generally I think the HP books were intended to be read according to the age of the character of Harry. The visuals in the films are pretty terrifying for a small child and get progressively more scary with each one. MIL is very irresponsible too.

ComDummings · 03/01/2022 13:03

Depends on the particular child, my own loved it at 4

CMhater · 03/01/2022 13:03

I doubt she'd have understood much of it.
I'd not say anything to mil in this case.i think you're overreacting.

Hospedia · 03/01/2022 13:04

My 4yo loved the first two Harry Potter films so it depends on the child I guess. It's a PG so not unreasonable for your MIL to have presumed it would be okay as its a children's film.

FusciasBright21 · 03/01/2022 13:05

Surely it depends on the child? My DC is the same age and enjoys Harry Potter and the philosopher's stone but they don't have the attention span for all of it and tend to be playing while it's on. I wouldn't put on any of the HP films after the third one. I think a lot of the film goes over their head.

Forgetaboutme · 03/01/2022 13:06

My son watched it at that age with our older son and loved it but didnt manage to sit through the whole thing. I think if its a pg I understand MIL putting it on and don't think its anything to get worked up over. Just let MIL know about the nightmare and say you think it's best she avoid HP for now in case it is related.

MrsColon · 03/01/2022 13:07

Did she even understand it? Most 4.5 year olds wouldn't get a lot of it, it's outside their sphere of reference?

Tbh I'm amazed she sat through it, that's a long time for a little kid to sit still for - she was probably running around/fidgeting for a lot of it.

That said, I bet she found some of it really scary, it's not aimed at young children barely out of toddler-hood. Your MIL was a bit stupid to allow it.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/01/2022 13:07

www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/harry-potter-and-the-sorcerers-stone

This suggests 7+

DietrichandDiMaggio · 03/01/2022 13:08

I took my son to see it when it came out and he would have been 4.5 yo at the time, as I recall he loved it. I think some of the later ones are much darker and only suitable for older children.

girlmom21 · 03/01/2022 13:08

I think you're being a bit dramatic to be honest. There are scary bits in loads of Disney films.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 03/01/2022 13:08

Isn’t it a children’s film?

I’d say it was fine.

Jessicabrassica · 03/01/2022 13:09

DD didn't watch it until we'd read it. She was probably y1/2 (5 or6). She then read all of the others and was allowed to watch them after she'd read them. Only the first gave her nightmares. Voldemort was more scary than her imagination could create.

We stopped at the first 4 until the kids were 8 then allowed them to read the final one at 10. They had to read them first!

LaTomatina · 03/01/2022 13:11

My younger kids watched it aged 4 and 2 because their older brothers were watching it. Don't think there's anything very terrible in the first one? From the 4th one onwards it gets pretty grim, wouldn't massively want my 9 year old watching that yet (although I told him he can, if he reads the books first...)

Bagelsandbrie · 03/01/2022 13:12

I wouldn’t have a go at your mil about it. It’s a PG and lots of children would be fine with it (mine would) do I don’t think she’s done anything “wrong”. If your dd is genuinely bothered by stuff like that maybe just mention it in passing next time saying she’s quite sensitive about films and you’d prefer to stick to Disney cartoon stuff etc.

BiggerBoat1 · 03/01/2022 13:14

A bit misjudged but sounds like it came from a good place. I would have thought a 4 year old would be a bit bored rather than anything else. You're definitely over-thinking!

MotherOfBeardedDragons · 03/01/2022 13:14

I think it really depends on the child. My eldest watched the first few at about that age and was fine, the first few movies are relatively tame compared to the latter ones. My DD6 has been around when it’s been on but I wouldn’t put it on specifically for her as she would be terrified and like your DD it manifests in the way of nightmares.

Impressed that 4 and 5 year olds will sit and listen to the books I don’t think DD6 would have the attention span or really understand them.

Hyppogriff · 03/01/2022 13:15

Meh it’s no big deal