To think it is not appropriate to put Harry Potter on for a 4.5 year old??

[Athysuisse]

I dropped my daughter off at her Grandma's (my MIL) yesterday afternoon as my husband and I have had very little time to be together one on one and she offered. We grabbed a bite to eat and went for a walk. Altogether gone about 4 hours.

We returned to get her and I asked what they had been up to. My MIL proudly told me they had watched the first Harry Potter together.

My daughter is 4.5 years old and up until now has only watched things like Peppa Pig, Cocomelon, Peter Rabbit, Frozen etc. I didn't say anything to her then, but told my OH soon as we got in the car that I felt that was too mature for her.

He accused me of just nitpicking. I asked my daughter if the film was ok and she said 'it was ok, but a bit scary.' Sure enough, last night she came into our bed and said she had a bad dream.

I told my OH I thought her bad dream was because of what she had watched. He told me I am being extreme and it is a harmless film. I still feel annoyed by it though! It doesn't feel totally innocent given its dark theme. I wouldn't mind if she was a few years older, but 4.5 seems a bit young for that stuff. AIBU?

[quote MyDcAreMarvel]**@girlmom21* read the rest of the PG description PG stands for Parental Guidance. This means a film is suitable for general viewing, but some scenes may be unsuitable for younger children. A PG film should not disturb a child aged around eight or older.*[/quote]
That doesn't mean it's aimed at 8+. It shouldn't disturb anyone over 8. Some 4 year olds would happily watch them and some 6 year olds wouldn't.

Films are made and then graded.

My 4 year old has sat quite happily through all the HP films as his brother is a huge fan. None of it scares him, and I think the darker parts go over his head. He will happily tell you that it's just a story and isn't real. I recently had to turn an animal documentary off as he was in tears at it.

I do think we gloss over the films of our youth. A couple of years I took my then 6 year old to a showing of Ghostbusters in a barn. I remembered the funny parts and completely forgot how sexual it was. You could see lots of squirming uncomfortable parents. Similar with The Goonies which I put on recently - I probably watched that around 8 years old. So much bad language and actually really scary!

@10storeylovesong I'd not be happy with any 4-year-old seeing the last couple of HP films in particular - you sound far too blasé about your child's viewing. Let him be a child, why rush to expose him to scary, violent stuff? They're rated 12 for a reason - that's three times your child's age.

My DD5 has seen bits of the first few Harry potter's as her older brothers (8&9) love them. I think the first one is ok - only scary bit right at the end. I do think 4.5 is a bit young, perhaps MIL was FF scary bits?

@10storeylovesong Back to the Future is another movie like that - some scenes there that I would be uncomfortable with my kids watching, and I saw it in the cinema when it came out, aged 7ish. Also saw Ghostbusters in the cinema aged 5 and was traumatised (my mum was furious, as my dad's parents had taken me to see it)

@MrsColon scary is subjective. He doesn't find them scary at all. If there was any hint he did, I wouldnt let him watch them. He rarely sits and watches a film throughout and dips in and out while he's playing. He does however find certain Disney films terrifying - Lion King, Bambi, the start of Finding Nemo, certain scenes in the Incredibles. I know he finds them scary so I don't let him watch them. I'm sure many parents on here wouldn't hesitate to let their child watch them.

He has been to both Harry Potter world and the Forbidden Forest experience and loved both. He swishes his wand at the Dementors and thinks he's a real wizard. Again, if he was scared I wouldn't take him. Much of the dark stuff goes over his head.

Believe me, I'm in no rush for him to grow up. He's my last and I want him to stay as young as possible for as long as possible. He cuddles teddies to go to sleep and his favourite program is Go Jetters. I don't sit him down and subject him to watching films in the hope I can show off or make him older than he is.

In fact, I've been accussed of keeping both my boys young by my peers. I don't allow my eldest to play online against his friends whereas I know the majority of his class do. I won't allow him to play Fortnite, whereas I know most of his friends do. I won't allow him to watch most Marvel films whereas most of his friends have watched them all, and their younger siblings.

We all know our children. It really doesn't matter to me whether you judge me or not for how I parent my child. They are healthy, happy, well adjusted children that I know well enough to make a judgement call on.

I think the first one would be ok for many 4.5 (very specific!) year olds tbh

Depends on the child of course

The thing my dd found terrifying at that age was my little pony - it gave her nightmares because of the big staring eyes!

The line in terms of younger/ older for HP books and films is after the third one really, although the film of HP3 is a lot scarier than the book imo

HP are serious and long films. How much did a 4yo actually understand?

Fgs it’s Harry Potter, not Texas Chainsaw Massacre. YABU.

I think it really depends on the child. My 4 year old LOVES Harry Potter (although I haven't let her watch the later ones). There are a few bits she finds scary (eg the troll in the first film) but in more of an exciting/bit frightening way than being really terrified. However, that's my choice as a parent as to what I'm comfortable with her watching and I watched with her so I could turn off at any point.

That said, it does sound like an innocent mistake on the part of your MIL, it's not like she set out to frighten your DD.

[quote 10storeylovesong]@MrsColon scary is subjective. He doesn't find them scary at all. If there was any hint he did, I wouldnt let him watch them. He rarely sits and watches a film throughout and dips in and out while he's playing. He does however find certain Disney films terrifying - Lion King, Bambi, the start of Finding Nemo, certain scenes in the Incredibles. I know he finds them scary so I don't let him watch them. I'm sure many parents on here wouldn't hesitate to let their child watch them.

He has been to both Harry Potter world and the Forbidden Forest experience and loved both. He swishes his wand at the Dementors and thinks he's a real wizard. Again, if he was scared I wouldn't take him. Much of the dark stuff goes over his head.

Believe me, I'm in no rush for him to grow up. He's my last and I want him to stay as young as possible for as long as possible. He cuddles teddies to go to sleep and his favourite program is Go Jetters. I don't sit him down and subject him to watching films in the hope I can show off or make him older than he is.

In fact, I've been accussed of keeping both my boys young by my peers. I don't allow my eldest to play online against his friends whereas I know the majority of his class do. I won't allow him to play Fortnite, whereas I know most of his friends do. I won't allow him to watch most Marvel films whereas most of his friends have watched them all, and their younger siblings.

We all know our children. It really doesn't matter to me whether you judge me or not for how I parent my child. They are healthy, happy, well adjusted children that I know well enough to make a judgement call on.[/quote]
Fair enough. Sorry if I came across as a judgy-pants, I was having a bad day.

I feel bad now, my son had seen them all before he turned 5! He loves them though and they've never scared him

The first Harry Potter is fine my dd now 6 has seen it many of times however that's the only 1 she's aloud to watch.