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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is not appropriate to put Harry Potter on for a 4.5 year old??

164 replies

Athysuisse · 03/01/2022 12:56

I dropped my daughter off at her Grandma's (my MIL) yesterday afternoon as my husband and I have had very little time to be together one on one and she offered. We grabbed a bite to eat and went for a walk. Altogether gone about 4 hours.

We returned to get her and I asked what they had been up to. My MIL proudly told me they had watched the first Harry Potter together.

My daughter is 4.5 years old and up until now has only watched things like Peppa Pig, Cocomelon, Peter Rabbit, Frozen etc. I didn't say anything to her then, but told my OH soon as we got in the car that I felt that was too mature for her.

He accused me of just nitpicking. I asked my daughter if the film was ok and she said 'it was ok, but a bit scary.' Sure enough, last night she came into our bed and said she had a bad dream.

I told my OH I thought her bad dream was because of what she had watched. He told me I am being extreme and it is a harmless film. I still feel annoyed by it though! It doesn't feel totally innocent given its dark theme. I wouldn't mind if she was a few years older, but 4.5 seems a bit young for that stuff. AIBU?

OP posts:
TeenPlusCat · 03/01/2022 13:16

I think being bothered by HP at 4.5 isn't being 'sensitive' it is being 4.5.

Ask MIL not to show it again. Or better still ask her not to show any PGs without checking with you first.

Idontbelieveit14 · 03/01/2022 13:16

I couldn’t get worked up about this, my almost 5 year old has been obsessed with the Nightmare before Christmas since he was 2 and half 🤔 he has watched the first Harry Potter it’s pretty tame

MissM2912 · 03/01/2022 13:16

I agree with your husband.

TheUndoingProject · 03/01/2022 13:16

It’s a PG so I don’t think she’s done anything obviously “wrong”. If your child is sensitive and you’re very selective about the films she watches I think you need to flag that up in advance. It’s the same certificate as e.g. frozen so I think it was reasonable for your MIL to think nothing of it.

AsYouWishButtercup · 03/01/2022 13:17

My son is almost 5 and we watched the first one yesterday. He was fine, and he’s a softie. I wouldn’t let him watch anything last the third one though

AsYouWishButtercup · 03/01/2022 13:18

I also think that if you’re getting free childcare to an extent you have to STFU about stuff like hat they watch on TV, as long as they’re actually putting them in danger

AsYouWishButtercup · 03/01/2022 13:19

*not putting them in danger

Original poster
Athysuisse · 03/01/2022 13:19

Thanks for all the comments! I appreciate the balance of opinions.

My daughter was spooked by the witch in Snow White a year ago, so for me it seemed a stretch too far.

Thanks to the poster who included the link to the info about the age of the target audience. 7 seems like a good age for it in my mind! And I love the idea of getting them to read it first!

I won't make a thing of it with my MIL, but I will stipulate no more HP specifically. At least not until she is a bit older!

OP posts:
Fidgetty · 03/01/2022 13:19

This is one thing that has surprised me since having DC - people seem to want to make them watch content that is wholly unnecessary and unsuitable for them, even other parents of similar age DC. I don't get it at all? I have a 4yo and 5yo and YANBU. It's unsuitable, it's scary and I don't know why adults insist on making children scared?!

AnxiousPixie · 03/01/2022 13:19

There's a troll in it and some scary bits at the end. My 4yo watched it with older brother and was ok. But each child is different aren't they? If this was my DH. anything other than an animation and she would ask before. Just mention you'd like her to do that in the future.

dottiedodah · 03/01/2022 13:20

Does she have Nightmares normally? If so may have been incidental . I think however it is a bit much for a LO .Maybe if she goes again to Grandmas ,take a favourite film with you .Say Frozen or whatever .Just say to MIL DD likes this one to watch .

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 03/01/2022 13:20

I think she’s too young, but also think what she’s watching is for 2-3 year olds- like coco melon

Baddit · 03/01/2022 13:20

Depends on the child. It was way too scary for my 7 year old but prob fine for others

CaptainSpirit · 03/01/2022 13:21

Like a lot of other posters are saying, I do think it depends on the child. My nephew and my daughter are both 4 and a half - my nephew has seen Harry Potter multiple times and loves it, unfazed by the darker bits. My daughter has never seen it however, but that's because I know what she's like and know that it would really frighten her and really bore her (shes still very much into cartoons).

Fidgetty · 03/01/2022 13:22

I think she’s too young, but also think what she’s watching is for 2-3 year olds- like coco melon

This is the kind of thing I mean. If a 4yo likes coco melon then it's suited to a 4yo. Why the rush to push them forward? She's four!

stargirl1701 · 03/01/2022 13:22

It's a PG so I would be unhappy she didn't check with you, the parent, first. Generally PGs are aimed at 8-12 year olds. There are masses of other, more appropriate choices your MIL could've made.

My DC are 9 and 7 and haven't watched anything that scary yet.

Bagelsandbrie · 03/01/2022 13:23

@Fidgetty

This is one thing that has surprised me since having DC - people seem to want to make them watch content that is wholly unnecessary and unsuitable for them, even other parents of similar age DC. I don't get it at all? I have a 4yo and 5yo and YANBU. It's unsuitable, it's scary and I don't know why adults insist on making children scared?!
I don’t think anyone would “insist” on scaring a child but some children DO like scary stuff! I did- I was watching and loving Gremlins at 4! My son now aged 9 loves scary films. He absolutely hates Frozen and all the Disney films and always has done but he loves anything sort of comedy horror ish. I think it definitely depends on the child. My dd now aged 19 though was very sensitive - I took her to watch Harry Potter at the cinema at about 8 and she was so scared she took off her 3D glasses so she couldn’t see it properly in places! She didn’t tell me until years afterwards or I would have taken her out! (She was at the end of the line of us and I didn’t realise she was bothered by it).
akittyisyou · 03/01/2022 13:23

I think people here are letting their nostalgia cloud their judgement. While the Harry Potter movies get gradually darker as they go, the first one already has a lot of creepy stuff for a kid who has previously only watched toddler shows.

The recommended age range for the books is 7-9 with guidance and 10+ alone. If you didn’t put your foot down, you’d be dealing with nightmares about giant spiders, giant snakes, bloodshed, crashing in flying cars, blood messages on the walls, being turned into a statue - and that’s just the second film.

Most of the movies after the third one are rated PG-13.

PrincessNutella · 03/01/2022 13:24

I agree with you, and I also think that most Disney films are fucking terrifying. 101 Dalmations has a full movie of puppies being threatened with murder for their coats.

Original poster
Athysuisse · 03/01/2022 13:25

My daughter loves Cocomelon, and I think it is aimed at preschoolers. The songs contain messages that a 2 year old won't necessarily grasp. Some are baby songs, but many are not.

Her favourite Cocomelon song is about recycling. A 2 year old doesn't understand separating rubbish into different bins and why. I think it's nice for a preschooler!

OP posts:
ToastieSnowy · 03/01/2022 13:28

My DC went to holiday club, at age 5 & 7 they put on HP deathly hallows part 1. My youngest had nightmares that night, my eldest said he chose a computer so he could have his back to the film and played on that so he didn’t see it.

I love HP. My DCs (now 13 & 16) love HP but at that age, in that setting, it wasn’t an appropriate film.

SarahWoodruff · 03/01/2022 13:29

My DD of the same age would have been terrified and would have insisted on it being switched off. Tbh there are some Numberblocks episodes she finds a bit much.

Original poster
Athysuisse · 03/01/2022 13:29

Exactly! I actually enjoy HP and I have all the books etc. I will have no issue with my kids being fans of the series when they are older.

But, the Chamber of Secrets is very creepy and dark and it does only get worse! Even the first film has the last scene where Voldemort appears on the back of the teachers head! And let's not forget the whole aim of the film is to destroy the dark lord by destroying objects he has put fragments of his soul into. His soul fragmented because he murdered many people! It is a great series but very dark.

I do think people get their kids to watch it at a young age because if nostalgia. Not because it is appropriate or because the child will really understand and enjoy the film.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 03/01/2022 13:30

A 2 year old doesn't understand separating rubbish into different bins and why.

They do if you teach them.

AsYouWishButtercup · 03/01/2022 13:31

FGS some of you are so precious. Scaring children 😂 it’s a PG, I’m going to go against the grain and say a child being a bit scared of a couple of scenes in a PG film won’t only not kill them but may actually be good for them lest they grow up to be a tremendous big girls blouse who needs a night light and dolly to sleep at age 22