Not want to give DP’s son my car

[Cardilemma]

For context;
Been with DP 6 years, we live together and have a joint account for joint finances we pay. Other bills we pay individually and keep what’s left after (much the same). We have one DC together and his DS is 18.

So to the point of the thread..
DP’s son is due to sit his driving test soon. I recently got a new car and still have the old one, it’s not worth much to sell but would give someone a good turn as a first car. DP and I have paid for our own cars separately but are insured to drive each other’s and often do. Technically separate in way of ownership and having paid for but very much used mutually. DP had expressed he would like to give his son the car.

I however don’t. I have a niece similar age who I’m very close to (my twin’s DD) and is also doing her driving lessons but not quite ready for test yet. She has always been a massive part of my life and has also been a huge part of my own DD life, from baby sitting a few hours here and there to taking her out to the park etc. She’s been brilliant with her.

DP’s son on the other hand I’ve never had much a relationship with, he stayed with his dad (and me when we moved in together) every weekend but they two would usually spend weekend out together and I worked shifts so wasn’t always home. We did do somethings together but it was clear he’d rather spend the time at football etc with his dad so I left them to it. He stopped staying regularly when he was about 16 and just started visiting as we only live a bus ride away. He’s never expressed any interested in our DD (which is fine, I get babies and toddlers aren’t usually teenage boy’s thing)

So my dilemma is, I worked hard to pay for that car and if I was to give my car away for free to anyone I would rather it be my DNiece.

AIBU for wanting to say no?

Just sell the car!

@PigeonLittle

Thats a really tough call but ultimately I voted for your niece. As a step mum who could be a permanent fixture in a boy's life (weddings, funerals, christenings, lots of birthdays etc) it doesnt really help you bond. 6 years through someone's teenage years, albeit an antisocial teen, is a long time.

But your niece sounds very close and you say he's your partner not husband

Agree with this however I also would caution against giving away the car in circumstances you're unhappy with and it leading to resentment. I gave mine to my SC and though it was my decision i carry some resentment as they weren't at all grateful nor looked after it. I could've sold it for a decent amount and I bought myself my own car when younger so didnt feel it was necessary it was more I felt bad and like I should help them out but it has ended up being a wrong decision. I'd therefore think carefully about it and how youd feel as it could actually be worse for bonding for OP to do something she regrets

“Yeah, I remember thinking it was odd when you mentioned it but assumed I heard wrong. I’ve actually arranged to give it to dn.”

I would sell it to DP if he wants it for SS and keep the money aside for niece. If he complains then tell him he's welcome to buy a car for niece if he'd prefer.

Did you speak to your DP, OP?

Tell your partner that you are going to sell it as it's worth more than you thought. However, if he wants to buy it for his son, because he knows it's reliable, then that's fine.

You then keep the money yourself. Alternatively you can give some of the money to your niece towards a car!

@saraclara

Your DP buys the car from you, and gives it to his son. You give the money to your niece towards her first car.

This.

Sell car. Give DSS and DN half each.

Give it to your niece or sell it and give it the money to her to put towards her first car.