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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH asking restaurant staff when food will be ready

210 replies

olympicsrock · 02/01/2022 19:55

AIBU to ask DHnot to ‘harangue’ staff in restaurants to speed up food?
We have been to two restaurants over the Christmas period. In both places they have been very busy. On arrival we were warned how busy they were/ short staff due to covid etc and to get order in.
All staff polite and doing their best.

BOTH times DH has got hangry and stressy and asked staff pointedly where our food was ie complaining. In the first place his dad was there doing the same.

In the second place he chased 36 mins after arrival when we had already had drinks , bread and starter. Not bad really. 1:36 on New Years Day. He was ‘polite’ but for gods sake everyone wants their food asap.

He either needs to have a snack mid morning or button it as far as I am concerned . He is not a toddler. Aaaagh

OP posts:
ShaneTheThird · 02/01/2022 19:59

I don't see it as a bad thing as long as he is polite? I've worked as a waitress in a busy pub. Sometimes they do forget to bring out your food so you could be literally waiting ages.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 02/01/2022 20:00

A wait of 90 minutes for food is ridiculous. I’d have enquired way before then.
I’d probably leave it longer than 30 mins but would expect if there was that much delay then I’d have been told when I ordered.

LagunaBubbles · 02/01/2022 20:02

I dint see he has done anything wrong, its a bit much calling him a toddler! I guess you are just one of those type of people that put up with all sorts and never complain?

ThePoint678 · 02/01/2022 20:02

They were told when they ordered!

If he is so impatient he should eat at home. What I don’t understand is how you don’t tell him to shut it and be reasonable? What would he say/do if you did?

Whinge · 02/01/2022 20:03

DH has got hangry and stressy and asked staff pointedly where our food was ie complaining

You said he was polite in your OP. Asking politely isn't complaining. Confused

Aquamarine1029 · 02/01/2022 20:04

Ugh, he sounds exactly like my twat of a FIL. How fucking rude and obnoxious. I'm sure your husband wasn't going to starve to death. What a tit. I wouldn't dine anywhere with him again.

Unanananana · 02/01/2022 20:05

If he was warned before you ordered then he is being rude, regardless of how politely he says it. If you don't like the wait you have been informed of, go elsewhere.

Harassing the waiting staff will not make your food come faster. It just makes you look like a dick.

RightOnTheEdge · 02/01/2022 20:05

Where I work people sometimes ask me how long their food will be and I go ask in the kitchen for an estimate and let them know.
I don't mind this if they ask politely or they need to know because they need to be somewhere.

If he's getting hangry and stressy and pointedly asking then he is BU because it doesn't make the food cook any faster or bump him up the queue.
All it does it stress out staff who are doing their best and probably ruins your nice evening by making you uncomfortable and causing an atmosphere.

ily0x · 02/01/2022 20:06

He sounds like an abusive narcissist. There’s nothing worse than someone who is nasty to waiters/retail staff. What a pathetic little bully. I’m sure he’s a lot less nasty to people who can answer back to him.

Iamthewombat · 02/01/2022 20:07

My mother does this. Nightmare. As if the poor waiting staff have any influence over how quickly your dinner is prepared! The same waiting staff get a discreet apology and a large tip from me whenever this happens.

HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule · 02/01/2022 20:08

It’s so uncouth to do that. Comes across as wilfully being rude and obnoxious.

You are definitely not being unreasonable.

Thatsplentyjack · 02/01/2022 20:08

@Idontgiveagriffindamn

A wait of 90 minutes for food is ridiculous. I’d have enquired way before then. I’d probably leave it longer than 30 mins but would expect if there was that much delay then I’d have been told when I ordered.
Where are you getting 90 mins? The op said he complaind 36 mins after they arrived and in that time they had already had drinks, bead and their starter.
ily0x · 02/01/2022 20:08

I dint see he has done anything wrong, its a bit much calling him a toddler! I guess you are just one of those type of people that put up with all sorts and never complain?

You’re obviously the type of person to harass minimum wage staff. You’d have to be dense to not realise waiters have NO CONTROL over how long the chefs take to make food.

Holly60 · 02/01/2022 20:08

Had you booked a table at these places, or was it a walk-In? I think if you had booked it’s not really acceptable to be ‘warned when you arrived’. I would expect them to have enough staff to cater for the guests they have.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with politely enquiring how much longer the food is going to be. I’d say asking politely after 30 minutes is reasonable.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 02/01/2022 20:10

I may have misread. Looks like 1:36 was the time and not the length of time waiting

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/01/2022 20:11

I’d say asking politely after 30 minutes is reasonable.

But he'd had a starter! Nothing, after 30 minutes I'd absolutely ask. Drinks starter and bread, chill out.

SheWoreYellow · 02/01/2022 20:13

@Idontgiveagriffindamn

A wait of 90 minutes for food is ridiculous. I’d have enquired way before then. I’d probably leave it longer than 30 mins but would expect if there was that much delay then I’d have been told when I ordered.
I think the 1:36 is not 1 hr 36, but that it was 1:36pm by the time the main course arrived, 36 minutes after they’d arrived. Plus they’d had starters. That seems ok to me.
betwixtlives · 02/01/2022 20:13

you think it’s reasonable to wait an hour and 36 mins for your order without checking they hadn’t forgotten it? Confused

Original poster
olympicsrock · 02/01/2022 20:14

We had booked at both places. Had only waited 36 minutes not 90! And already had drinks bread starter. On both occasions food came shortly afterwards.
In my view it’s just making work for waiting staff who are clearly busy and doing their best. Would understand if there had been an excess wait.

And IMO you have to be patient on Bank Holidayswhen staff are off isolating with covid and people are doing their best. I am not one of those people who never complain btw….

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 02/01/2022 20:15

@betwixtlives

you think it’s reasonable to wait an hour and 36 mins for your order without checking they hadn’t forgotten it? Confused
Everyone needs to read.

36 minutes and he'd had bread and starter!

ily0x · 02/01/2022 20:15

www.edp24.co.uk/lifestyle/never-trust-anyone-who-is-rude-to-waiters-1297300

Please read OP. ^ I’m sure your DH isn’t a nice man in general.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 02/01/2022 20:18

He may well get "extras" in his food if he keeps that shit up.

CustardySergeant · 02/01/2022 20:22

OP, you say he was polite when he asked but also complaining. Given that one poster has called him an abusive narcissist, which seems very OTT to me, would you please describe his demeanour when he's asking about when the food is going to be ready? Is he pleasant/respectful/polite or is he very clearly annoyed and complaining? How do the staff respond?

Original poster
olympicsrock · 02/01/2022 20:26

He was polite but pointed and definitely unhappy. Staff responded with politeness, apologised for how busy they were and said they were doing their best and food on it’s way/ on the pass.

OP posts:
Original poster
olympicsrock · 02/01/2022 20:28

And huffy / stressy to the rest of the table, moaning and complaining about how hungry he was and that it was ridiculous to have to wait

OP posts:
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