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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH asking restaurant staff when food will be ready

210 replies

olympicsrock · 02/01/2022 19:55

AIBU to ask DHnot to ‘harangue’ staff in restaurants to speed up food?
We have been to two restaurants over the Christmas period. In both places they have been very busy. On arrival we were warned how busy they were/ short staff due to covid etc and to get order in.
All staff polite and doing their best.

BOTH times DH has got hangry and stressy and asked staff pointedly where our food was ie complaining. In the first place his dad was there doing the same.

In the second place he chased 36 mins after arrival when we had already had drinks , bread and starter. Not bad really. 1:36 on New Years Day. He was ‘polite’ but for gods sake everyone wants their food asap.

He either needs to have a snack mid morning or button it as far as I am concerned . He is not a toddler. Aaaagh

OP posts:
JuergenSchwarzwald · 03/01/2022 09:01

@Aquamarine1029

Ugh, he sounds exactly like my twat of a FIL. How fucking rude and obnoxious. I'm sure your husband wasn't going to starve to death. What a tit. I wouldn't dine anywhere with him again.
What an unhelpful post. It is ok to ask where your food is after half an hour, unless they said at the door the delay would be 90 minutes - in which case most people would go elsewhere, surely?
RightOnTheEdge · 03/01/2022 12:15

It wasn't 90 minutes!
It's been said plenty of times on the thread that it was 30 minutes and in that time they had drinks and bread for starters!
It also says in the OP
In both places they have been very busy. On arrival we were warned how busy they were/ short staff due to covid etc and to get order in.

llansannan22 · 03/01/2022 12:25

I'm glad he has realised his behaviour was wrong, the best apology would be no repeat of it.

burnoutbabe · 03/01/2022 12:31

I don't know, sometimes they have clearly forgotten about your stuff as you can see say 2nd drinks being brought for the people either side of you when you know you ordered the drink before they did.

We had to do this NYE, the staff member when asked where the 2nd drink was just said "oh do you want another drink, what do you want" when we had already ordered it through her.

And our platter, one item arrived 45 mins after the rest. by which time we were full, asking for doggy bags. We would have preferred to have that food much earlier (and eaten more of that fresh and less of the other, colder stuff, which was fine to eat the next day)

Technonan · 03/01/2022 17:30

There are a lot of kick-me-Charlies on this thread. 'I'm so sorry I came to your restaurant to give you money to provide me with food.'

It's perfectly OK to ask politely when your food is coming. Rudeness and aggression, no, but that isn't the case here. I've worked as a waitress, and I've been a diner, and I would have no issue with a customer asking when their food would be ready. The restaurant is offering a service, you are paying for it, you have every right to ask questions. They're not doing you a favour, but if they're a good establishment, they want you to have a good time.

I'm not very patient with the 'they were very busy.' They must have know the numbers who had booked. If they haven't got the staff, they shouldn't take the bookings. I know this can a problem with Covid, and I'd be a lot more tolerant right now, but what is wrong with asking politely?

CloR86 · 03/01/2022 17:34

I agree with you. Worked in restaurants for 15 years and the food is always brought out as soon as it is ready. Asking isn't going to make it come any quicker! The staff aren't sat in the kitchen twiddling their thumbs. Sometimes it is just busy and you have to just enjoy the company you are with and be patient.

Snowred1 · 03/01/2022 17:47

YANBU. 36 mins when had drinks and bread is not long to wait. Thankfully my husband is the other way and a meal coming out too quick means they just warm it up and don’t cook from fresh so we prefer to wait. If I’m getting hangry I have a fizzy drink to tide me over. Next time I would just say something like “oh for goodness sake, if you want fast food go to McDonald’s, good fresh cooked food does take a while”.

Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 03/01/2022 17:54

@Holly60
Suppose the OP booked the day before or earlier on the day they were going but then staff rang in sick or didn't turn up for one reason or another. They can only hope that the staff due to work on any particular day, turn up. If they ring sick or isolating then the staff can't ring customers to tell them. They notified them when they arrived. We have to be prepared for restaurants (or anywhere else) to be short staffed nowadays. Be reasonable.

godmum56 · 03/01/2022 17:55

OM actual G the OP mentioned my post to her DH.....Do I get a medal?

paintfairy · 03/01/2022 17:55

I can probably count on one hand where we've had a meal within 36 minutes of arrival (and that doesn't include starters!). Usually it takes about 10 minutes to give your drinks order, get them, and then them come to take your food order. Often more. So you are only leaving them 26 minutes to cook your dinner and bring it out to you? I'm guessing he doesn't cook at home? Does he want raw food? And that's assuming there's no other people in front of you! Yes he's a moron. Polite or not. And I would refuse to go with him, as I'd be embarrassed.

chocolateorangeinhaler · 03/01/2022 17:56

Wow. Someone stands up for poor customer service and everyone on here is out waiting each other bragging how they would happily sit there for several hours waiting for food.

No you would not.

If your hungry and go somewhere for food, you want food. Not a drink and another half hour of idle chit chat while telling the waitress that the long wait is fine.

I've walked out of restaurants before when I feel the wait is taking the piss. Who's got all day to sit there waiting?

Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 03/01/2022 17:58

@Technonan
Suppose staff who were supposed to be working on that day, ring in sick on the day itself? What then? Is the manager supposed to ring all the customers to say they're short staffed?

Kittysummer · 03/01/2022 18:02

I never like to rush when I am out for dinner, as long as I have a drink and the starter does not take too long I am very willing to wait and enjoy the company I am out with. A good meal out for me last over three hours.

ArchibaldsDaddy · 03/01/2022 18:05

@Aquamarine1029

Ugh, he sounds exactly like my twat of a FIL. How fucking rude and obnoxious. I'm sure your husband wasn't going to starve to death. What a tit. I wouldn't dine anywhere with him again.
The irony in this post is utterly sublime.
Straighttalking1 · 03/01/2022 18:05

Uuurgghhh can't stand hangry behaviour, just grow up and eat before you go out to eat, or order a substantial starter !!!!! Can't they control themselves and be adult.

gogohm · 03/01/2022 18:09

I agree op. In your example (with starter) it's only appropriate to speak to staff at least 20 mins after starter, rather than entry to restaurant

Lunificent · 03/01/2022 18:12

Is he a git in other areas of your lives together?
If this happens in isolation and he’s generally lovely, I wouldn’t pay it much thought. If he’s aggressive, moody, snappy, impatient, immature, overbearing, embarrassing in other areas of your lives, then you have a problem.

Technonan · 03/01/2022 18:14

@Dontwanttolivewithmylover
If you bothered to read my post, you'd see that I mentioned this - in times of Covid, I'm more tolerant. However, there is still nothing wrong in asking when your food will be ready.

Is everyone frightened of the staff, or something?

bongobingo43 · 03/01/2022 18:16

@olympicsrock

To give more context , we were waiting for 8 main courses in a smart restaurant. These things take time to cook. We are not talking about a few baked potatoes/ sandwiches..
I would have questioned the freshness of the food if a restaurant served my table drinks, bread, starters, let the table eat their starters then serve 8 main courses in 36 minutes? And that's without taking orders, serving tables etc

I don't actually see how it would be physically possible for them to do all that any faster??

What is the enjoyment in being out with him?

FourteenSixteenTwentyTwo · 03/01/2022 18:25

I wouldn’t expect food for 8 in a restaurant to be ready in 36 minutes necessarily, but I do think you’ve misled people a bit here. You said starters and drinks, but now I’m getting the impression it’s actually drinks and a bread bowl (not the cooked individual starters I’d originally imagined). Asking politely how long food would be is perfectly reasonable if contemplating more bread. Moaning is not though and I’m glad he’s apologised for that.

phoenixrosehere · 03/01/2022 18:28

Wow. Someone stands up for poor customer service and everyone on here is out waiting each other bragging how they would happily sit there for several hours waiting for food.

Please explain how it is bad service to wait 36 minutes for a main with a table of 8 who have received starters, drinks, and bread in a restaurant that pre-warned that it would be a wait before they sat down and during a bank holiday?

Or next time read the OP’s posts…

jentinquarantino20 · 03/01/2022 18:31

I would be embarrassed tbh if I was with someone like that. My job involves serving drinks and food and it was rammed on NYE. We can only do our best. It isn’t like he wasn’t warned they were busy and short staffed.

cherish123 · 03/01/2022 18:31

1.36? Is that 1hr 36mins? If so, that's quite a long wait. If asked after 36mins, it's a bit soon to ask if you have ordered drinks and starters and you are chasing up the main course. If he's polite, it's fine.

Watchamocauli · 03/01/2022 18:34

Maybe get his blood sugar tested. If he is hypoglycaemic then hangry is a possibility at mealtime.

Teateaandmoretea · 03/01/2022 18:34

This reminded me of taking very talkative 2 year olds to restaurants. They both did it ‘I want my dinner’ 😂😂

I think yanbu unless it’s so long they may have forgotten