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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH asking restaurant staff when food will be ready

210 replies

olympicsrock · 02/01/2022 19:55

AIBU to ask DHnot to ‘harangue’ staff in restaurants to speed up food?
We have been to two restaurants over the Christmas period. In both places they have been very busy. On arrival we were warned how busy they were/ short staff due to covid etc and to get order in.
All staff polite and doing their best.

BOTH times DH has got hangry and stressy and asked staff pointedly where our food was ie complaining. In the first place his dad was there doing the same.

In the second place he chased 36 mins after arrival when we had already had drinks , bread and starter. Not bad really. 1:36 on New Years Day. He was ‘polite’ but for gods sake everyone wants their food asap.

He either needs to have a snack mid morning or button it as far as I am concerned . He is not a toddler. Aaaagh

OP posts:
LittleRoundRobin · 02/01/2022 20:29

YABU. I would have complained before he did!

LittleRoundRobin · 02/01/2022 20:30

@olympicsrock

And huffy / stressy to the rest of the table, moaning and complaining about how hungry he was and that it was ridiculous to have to wait
At what point did he start to get stressy/huffy?
Benjispruce5 · 02/01/2022 20:32

I would be ok if there were drinks and maybe some complimentary nibbles.

jackstini · 02/01/2022 20:32

YANBU at all
He's a grown man not a whiny kid

To have had drinks, bread and starter within 36 mins on a busy bank holiday is not slow service!

Maybe he needs a decent breakfast or you eat earlier to avoid his hangryness
Is he like this with other things?

Benjispruce5 · 02/01/2022 20:33

Within 36 minutes you’d already had drinks and starters and he complained????

Hb12 · 02/01/2022 20:35

I'm not sure why people are commenting on the 'type of people who are rude to waiting staff' or calling him a narcissist. The OP says herself that he wasn't rude to them. Talk about extrapolation.

Vegetalienne · 02/01/2022 20:35

The staff would have just thought he was an arse for asking when he had been warned they were busy/short staffed and had already had drinks and starter. Hopefully they didn’t do anything to his food. 😉

Original poster
olympicsrock · 02/01/2022 20:35

To give more context , we were waiting for 8 main courses in a smart restaurant. These things take time to cook. We are not talking about a few baked potatoes/ sandwiches..

OP posts:
godmum56 · 02/01/2022 20:36

Have you tried keeping a colouring book and pencils and a little packet of raisins in your handbag?

Vegetalienne · 02/01/2022 20:37

Have you tried keeping a colouring book and pencils and a little packet of raisins in your handbag?

😂

mogsrus · 02/01/2022 20:37

People who do this , have never worked in the industry,& people who do work in the industry absolutely despise them, it’s not fair & they think they are the only people in that establishment

lottiegarbanzo · 02/01/2022 20:38

I think that if you're not prepared to relax and enjoy a leisurely meal, don't go to nice restaurants.

If you want fast food, go to a fast food place.

It sounds like it was more the discomfort and lack of enjoyment at the table that was the issue. His attitude does need knocking on the head.

IncompleteSenten · 02/01/2022 20:39

Tell him he's a brave man to piss off the people bringing him his food Wink

But seriously, yes, it's rude. If you are within the time frame you were told to expect to wait.

I don't know why people think food that would take an hour to cook at home can be ordered, cooked and served in ten minutes.

If it's only taking a few minutes it means your food is not being freshly cooked.

lottiegarbanzo · 02/01/2022 20:40

Certainly for me, as a fellow diner of people like this, the discomfort is part that they're clearly not enjoying my company and are just there to sate their hunger, part that they're embarrassing the whole table in the way they talk to the staff.

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 02/01/2022 20:41

The answer is pretty simple - you clearly can’t eat out with him again.

So, you tell him this. Ask him what he thinks about it, and whether he thinks it’s OK for the two of you never to dine out together again.

If he thinks that’s OK, you have a deeply unreasonable man on your hands. But then again, so many women on MN do, and they roll over and accept it, so… 🤷🏻‍♀️

RightOnTheEdge · 02/01/2022 20:41

@godmum56

Have you tried keeping a colouring book and pencils and a little packet of raisins in your handbag?
GrinGrinGrin
DreamingofTimbuktu · 02/01/2022 20:42

He expected his main course within 36 minutes of arriving in a smart restaurant! I’d take him to
a chain next time.

RedskyThisNight · 02/01/2022 20:43

30 minutes if you'd had starters seems a bit OTT.

But ... we've been occasions where we've been forgotten about entirely in busy restaurants. I don't see that politely asking is particularly an issue. If the order is being prepared then it gives the waiting staff a chance to set expectations. If you have been forgotten it gives them chance to put it right.

Gardeniafleur · 02/01/2022 20:44

@mogsrus

People who do this , have never worked in the industry,& people who do work in the industry absolutely despise them, it’s not fair & they think they are the only people in that establishment
This!

If you want a good meal, well cooked, with high attention to detail, finish, plating and hygiene along the way, in a period of time that is fairly well documented to be absolutely impossible to get staff at all, let alone deal with the ones off due to isolating, then it will take time.

I have waitressed in a VERY high end, quick turnaround restaurant in NY (very demanding customers) and I don't think I could have got a drinks order out, orders taken, a first course served, eaten and cleared and the second course on the table in 36 minutes!

Does he like to be out the door within an hour or something?

5128gap · 02/01/2022 20:45

I'd have been annoyed with him too. He knew the situation, but somehow thought it shouldn't apply to him? Not to mention that while the staff are politely listening to and responding to his complaints they are being diverted away from serving people's food, so it hardly helps.

JackieCollinshasnoauthority · 02/01/2022 20:46

Drinks, bread, starters within 36 minutes with mains on the way isn't slow in normal circumstances, let alone if they've already explained they are short staffed.

NinaDefoe · 02/01/2022 20:48

I think the problem sometimes is ordering a starter.
Some places only start cooking the mains once the waiter/ess returns to the kitchen and tells the chef that the starters have been cleared.
We are impatient so hardly ever order starters to come first, just mains and sides.
We ask for everything to be brought out together 😅

NinaDefoe · 02/01/2022 20:48

@JackieCollinshasnoauthority

Drinks, bread, starters within 36 minutes with mains on the way isn't slow in normal circumstances, let alone if they've already explained they are short staffed.
I agree!
EyesAsGreenAsAFreshPickledToad · 02/01/2022 20:49

@ily0x

He sounds like an abusive narcissist. There’s nothing worse than someone who is nasty to waiters/retail staff. What a pathetic little bully. I’m sure he’s a lot less nasty to people who can answer back to him.
Ffs stop projecting. You’re being ridiculous.
whynotwhatknot · 02/01/2022 20:50

That isnt slow if he wants fast food tell him to go to maccie d's-does he not eat all morning beofre you go out for lunch