DH asking restaurant staff when food will be ready

[olympicsrock]

AIBU to ask DHnot to ‘harangue’ staff in restaurants to speed up food?
We have been to two restaurants over the Christmas period. In both places they have been very busy. On arrival we were warned how busy they were/ short staff due to covid etc and to get order in.
All staff polite and doing their best.

BOTH times DH has got hangry and stressy and asked staff pointedly where our food was ie complaining. In the first place his dad was there doing the same.

In the second place he chased 36 mins after arrival when we had already had drinks , bread and starter. Not bad really. 1:36 on New Years Day. He was ‘polite’ but for gods sake everyone wants their food asap.

He either needs to have a snack mid morning or button it as far as I am concerned . He is not a toddler. Aaaagh

Urgh. I’d be curling up and dying inside.

Some of the PPs responses are a bit eyebrow raising! I hope their DCs who may want to wait tables have inherited the thick skin they evidently have.

Would he have been able to cook the meal he ordered for himself in 36mins?

That's the key really. Sometimes your meal will take a bit longer because it's cooked freshly for you and not just a pop n ping then tipped on a plate.

I think I’d actually be annoyed if I got my main course within 36 minutes of arriving having already eaten and finished my starter! I hate being rushed in a restaurant where things arrive too quickly and you’re out the door within the hour…

DH had been drinking the night before, hadn’t he?

If he prizes speed of service over good food and a relaxed experience I would only go somewhere like Burger King or KFC with him. I worked n the food industry a few years ago and customers like him were a nightmare.

@BobLemon

Urgh. I’d be curling up and dying inside.

Some of the PPs responses are a bit eyebrow raising! I hope their DCs who may want to wait tables have inherited the thick skin they evidently have.

I honestly think every teenager/young person should have a spell waitressing because it teaches you about food, hygiene, multi-tasking, good manners and PEOPLE. The things I used to hear while pouring the wine out!

I was in wetherspoons on 28th Dec. It was busy and we are back to table service only. It took 15 mins for our drinks to arrive and the server apologised for our wait. Tbh I expected to be waiting a lot longer.

I think there is a balance to be struck.
Yes food can take time to come, especially when restaurants are busy, but it is frustrating waiting a long time -sometimes even to order when places are packed.
Restaurants have a standard of service to meet, and that includes not having diners waiting unreasonable lengths of time for food. That smacks of mismanagement and greed. Accepting more bookings than a restaurant knows they can deal with at any one time may be tempting from a financial perspective but is not good for business long term.
If a restaurant is caught short by staff shortages they need to have contingencies to make sure standards- including waiting time for diners in tot too severely impacted. Maybe to remove items that take a longer time to prepare, or withdrawing a couple of options to ease the pressure on the kitchen.
Waiting and bar staff can help too,, keeeping guests informed, steering them towards items that they know can be made more quickly or have been premade by the kitchen, , keeping guests supplied with drinks, olives, breadsticks etc- at least as a distraction to pass the time when waiting time is longer than usual
I am not happy waiting a long time for a meal in a restaurant.

YANBU

Hangry people highly annoy me. They are up there with drunk people to me. My DH unfortunately is one of those now as he has gotten older, however if we were warned there was going to be a wait and they were short staffed, we would eat somewhere else, he wouldn’t moan to everyone who would listen how hungry he is especially if there was bread, starters and drinks. How can you be hangry after having food and drinks? Also, did he say he wanted the starter and main to come out together or separate? If he didn’t say anything, they probably thought he wanted them separate so they wouldn’t arrive at the same time?

'Ffs stop projecting. You’re being ridiculous'. Absolutely, it's an utterly idiotic comment. I had rather hoped this ludicrous amateur diagnosis of serious personality disorders was on the way out here, but back it still comes. And how does someone get so angry about what is essentially, to them, an abstract issue?

A bit on the fence. While I don't usually complain /ask how long food will be I did once.
Had gone out with DH, my parents and toddler DD. My dad, husband and daughter all got their food. After waiting for 15 minutes I went and asked and they'd forgotten our order.
I would never be rude or stressy especially in a cafe /"restaurant for obvious reasons.

@olympicsrock - how long had you waited in the other place you haven't given the details for? Was that main courses ordered only? Ime only ordering a main doesn't mean you get served quickly - other orders for starters are prioritised.

I honestly think every teenager/young person should have a spell waitressing because it teaches you about food, hygiene, multi-tasking, good manners and PEOPLE. The things I used to hear while pouring the wine out!

And work in a call centre. I've spent years working in rehab, prisons, homeless shelters and I was threatened and harassed more in a call centre. I'm not joking. The general public are bastards.

He’s a whinge bag isn’t he?

Next time he mentions about going out for dinner, I’d refuse to go with him as his impatience is embarrassing.

@ily0x

He sounds like an abusive narcissist. There’s nothing worse than someone who is nasty to waiters/retail staff. What a pathetic little bully. I’m sure he’s a lot less nasty to people who can answer back to him.

Op said he was polite . That's some massive assumption about a person you don't know from a few line of text.

@RussiasGreatestLoveMachine

The answer is pretty simple - you clearly can’t eat out with him again.

So, you tell him this. Ask him what he thinks about it, and whether he thinks it’s OK for the two of you never to dine out together again.

If he thinks that’s OK, you have a deeply unreasonable man on your hands. But then again, so many women on MN do, and they roll over and accept it, so… 🤷🏻‍♀️

This.

I couldn't be with someone so rude and unreasonable.

He sounds extremely tedious.

I would be embarrassed to be in his company.

@speakout

I think there is a balance to be struck. Yes food can take time to come, especially when restaurants are busy, but it is frustrating waiting a long time -sometimes even to order when places are packed. Restaurants have a standard of service to meet, and that includes not having diners waiting unreasonable lengths of time for food. That smacks of mismanagement and greed. Accepting more bookings than a restaurant knows they can deal with at any one time may be tempting from a financial perspective but is not good for business long term. If a restaurant is caught short by staff shortages they need to have contingencies to make sure standards- including waiting time for diners in tot too severely impacted. Maybe to remove items that take a longer time to prepare, or withdrawing a couple of options to ease the pressure on the kitchen. Waiting and bar staff can help too,, keeeping guests informed, steering them towards items that they know can be made more quickly or have been premade by the kitchen, , keeping guests supplied with drinks, olives, breadsticks etc- at least as a distraction to pass the time when waiting time is longer than usual I am not happy waiting a long time for a meal in a restaurant.

In a pandemic its a bit hard to predict when staff will be off isnt it

and none of your post reflects what the op posted

And work in a call centre. I've spent years working in rehab, prisons, homeless shelters and I was threatened and harassed more in a call centre. I'm not joking. The general public are bastards.

Yes! See also, chambermaid, shop work. I think if you are a reasonably average person it can be quite illuminating how AWFUL some people are.

Having said that, I have had some awful, awful service sometimes! I remember going out for a Xmas roast lunch with about 20 old uni friends, sitting on and drinking (we had paid for lunch, tipped generously, a quiet pub so they def weren't looking for table back or anything... Some of us decided to get some more snacks/food and I asked the huffy staffmember really politely if she could clear the plates FROM LUNCH, we had even stacked them ourselves, at SEVEN O'CLOCK and one of my friends was all 'omg that is so rude, they will spit in our food now'! So sometimes you can't win.

Most restaurants want to turn tables and some even when booking say you have 1hr 30 mins - 2 hours until the next booking.

Yesterday I was at duck and waffle and the wait to even order was awful almost 30mins and some of my friends had to leave due to trains not running as late meaning they missed dessert and everything felt rushed.

I've actually stopped going to alot of restaurants because its getting pretty common for the service to be sub par. Either waiting for someone to take your order, waiting forever to get your bill you end up just getting up and going up and paying.

Maybe you OH was being a bit unreasonable but if he was polite in his request I see no issue really.

@speakout

I think there is a balance to be struck. Yes food can take time to come, especially when restaurants are busy, but it is frustrating waiting a long time -sometimes even to order when places are packed. Restaurants have a standard of service to meet, and that includes not having diners waiting unreasonable lengths of time for food. That smacks of mismanagement and greed. Accepting more bookings than a restaurant knows they can deal with at any one time may be tempting from a financial perspective but is not good for business long term. If a restaurant is caught short by staff shortages they need to have contingencies to make sure standards- including waiting time for diners in tot too severely impacted. Maybe to remove items that take a longer time to prepare, or withdrawing a couple of options to ease the pressure on the kitchen. Waiting and bar staff can help too,, keeeping guests informed, steering them towards items that they know can be made more quickly or have been premade by the kitchen, , keeping guests supplied with drinks, olives, breadsticks etc- at least as a distraction to pass the time when waiting time is longer than usual I am not happy waiting a long time for a meal in a restaurant.

LOL. If 3 members of staff ring in sick on the day, do you think the magic waitressing fairy conjures up some more? Or that the chef can just change the menu, having already ordered the food?

Many restaurants are teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. They can't turn down customers on the off-chance that staff may be ill.

I agree waiting staff should keep customers informed. Beyond that, your post is very naive.

Bring a snack for him next time, maybe a rusk or similar, if he's going to behave like a toddler treat him like one.

@Gardeniafleur

And work in a call centre. I've spent years working in rehab, prisons, homeless shelters and I was threatened and harassed more in a call centre. I'm not joking. The general public are bastards.

Yes! See also, chambermaid, shop work. I think if you are a reasonably average person it can be quite illuminating how AWFUL some people are.

Having said that, I have had some awful, awful service sometimes! I remember going out for a Xmas roast lunch with about 20 old uni friends, sitting on and drinking (we had paid for lunch, tipped generously, a quiet pub so they def weren't looking for table back or anything... Some of us decided to get some more snacks/food and I asked the huffy staffmember really politely if she could clear the plates FROM LUNCH, we had even stacked them ourselves, at SEVEN O'CLOCK and one of my friends was all 'omg that is so rude, they will spit in our food now'! So sometimes you can't win.

This also applies in schools. The way the general public treat the staff sometimes is astonishing. Truly astonishing. I work in a school and the stuff our head has to put up with is unreal. Really opens your eyes.

@DreamingofTimbuktu

He expected his main course within 36 minutes of arriving in a smart restaurant! I’d take him to a chain next time.

I agree with this. A fast food restaurant on the other hand, is a totally different business model.

I think it's worth asking politely. It's a running joke that when we go for food we seem to get forgotten about/order lost ect. happened just the other day. Ordered food at a soft play type place,noticed other people who sat down after us were getting there's, asked someone who said it'll be here when it's here, asked someone else over an hour after ordering and turns out they had lost our order.
would still be sitting there now if we hadn't have asked 🤣

Have you tried keeping a colouring book and pencils and a little packet of raisins in your handbag?

🤣 please tell him you’re going to do this next time he’s acting like a toddler in a restaurant.

OR you could tell the staff that it’s past his bedtime so needs his food quickly. 🤣