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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a 5 and 8 year old to be able to pack their own overnight bag?

491 replies

CrumpledCrumpet · 02/01/2022 11:25

I’ve asked 8 and 5yo DS’s to pack PJs and a change of clothes in a bag about half an hour ago. Despite increasingly stroppy reminders from me to stay on task, no progress is being made. AIBU to expect children of their age to be able to do this? I’m exasperated!

OP posts:
SherBear1971 · 03/01/2022 11:41

Yes, they can 🙂 but they may need a more cooperative approach if this is the first time you have ever asked. I would say "Come on ....insert name...we are going to pack so we can stay over at Granny's. What do you think we need? " Etc lots of things are about doing it alongside kids as they move towards to being independent. This is the approach we have followed with 6 kids even when packing to go on a holiday. We started with a drawn 'list' of what they needed where they could tick off what was in the bag.

liveforsummer · 03/01/2022 11:42

@sweetbellyhigh that's fine, but if they did I'm certain they could. Maybe they don't have much interest in putting a couple of clothing items in a bag either but they can.

Original poster
CrumpledCrumpet · 03/01/2022 13:10

Well ultimately I think I am reassured that I wasn’t completely mad to get the DC to attempt this but I’m not massively failing as a parent because they didn’t ace the task!

I was a bit flustered yesterday as I checked the train departures just before I started packing and found that the connecting service I’d planned us to catch was cancelled, so I was hoping that if the DC had sorted themselves out we’d have time to catch an earlier train and not end up late. Obviously that didn’t happen as despite me popping my head in regularly to nudge them along (“have you got anything yet? No? Start with pyjamas”) by the time we were due to leave I had the 8 year old still sat in his pants reading books to decide which one he wanted to pack, and the 5 year old jumping on his bed shouting “poo! poo! poo!”.

OP posts:
ChequerBoard · 03/01/2022 13:26

@CrumpledCrumpet

Well ultimately I think I am reassured that I wasn’t completely mad to get the DC to attempt this but I’m not massively failing as a parent because they didn’t ace the task!

I was a bit flustered yesterday as I checked the train departures just before I started packing and found that the connecting service I’d planned us to catch was cancelled, so I was hoping that if the DC had sorted themselves out we’d have time to catch an earlier train and not end up late. Obviously that didn’t happen as despite me popping my head in regularly to nudge them along (“have you got anything yet? No? Start with pyjamas”) by the time we were due to leave I had the 8 year old still sat in his pants reading books to decide which one he wanted to pack, and the 5 year old jumping on his bed shouting “poo! poo! poo!”.

If you were rushing to catch a train, surely it would have been faster and less stressful for you to grab the necessary items for the 5 and 8 year old on this occasion?

Not the ideal time for a teaching opportunity when you are rushing, getting stressed and then snappy with them.

Original poster
CrumpledCrumpet · 03/01/2022 14:32

Not the ideal time for a teaching opportunity when you are rushing, getting stressed and then snappy with them.

Well I wasn’t thinking learning opportunity, I was thinking it might save time. Obviously I was a bit optimistic there, but you live and learn!

OP posts:
Jowel · 03/01/2022 15:14

I travelled by public transport to school 15 miles away aged 6

Hemingwayscatz · 03/01/2022 15:18

I think an 8 year old could but I’d still check the contents. Definitely not a 5 year old.

SVRT19674 · 03/01/2022 15:23

A 5 year old? hahahaha An 8 year old with supervision, yeah. I was very independent, so yes. My brother at 8? no chance.

Fairunibutterfly · 03/01/2022 15:25

@CrumpledCrumpet

Not the ideal time for a teaching opportunity when you are rushing, getting stressed and then snappy with them.

Well I wasn’t thinking learning opportunity, I was thinking it might save time. Obviously I was a bit optimistic there, but you live and learn!

I do the same to get them to help to save time. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Always worth a try as mine can sometimes be super helpful when in a rush 😊
1224boom · 03/01/2022 15:25

I don't think you are unreasonable at all. My three and five year olds picked their overnight bad yesterday. I told them they needed pjs, knickers and one outfit and a Teddy each. Left the room and they did it.

liveforsummer · 03/01/2022 15:52

@CrumpledCrumpet

Not the ideal time for a teaching opportunity when you are rushing, getting stressed and then snappy with them.

Well I wasn’t thinking learning opportunity, I was thinking it might save time. Obviously I was a bit optimistic there, but you live and learn!

In the end though they managed and will indeed have learned from it. Hope you're having a nice trip
tickingthebox73 · 04/01/2022 14:23

@CrumpledCrumpet

Not the ideal time for a teaching opportunity when you are rushing, getting stressed and then snappy with them.

Well I wasn’t thinking learning opportunity, I was thinking it might save time. Obviously I was a bit optimistic there, but you live and learn!

I think lists will be your friend here - I have one on the computer, which I update and amend for different length of holiday... So now I can just print out the appropriate list and let them get on with it.
backtolifebacktoreality · 04/01/2022 15:48

My teenagers pack an overnight bag and still forget things or put unnecessary things in it!!!!

PoshWatchShitShoes · 04/01/2022 15:50

Totally unreasonable. They're kids. They need your help to make these decisions.

I remember packing myself for a family holiday when I was 12. I took 1 T-shirt for 2 weeks 🤦🏼‍♀️

venusandmars · 04/01/2022 16:22

My dd age 5 protested that she could do her own packing for a holiday (remote wilds of Scotland in winter). She packed PJs, a toothbrush, a tiara and 2 handbags Grin

Idontknowlondon · 04/01/2022 16:36

@backtolifebacktoreality

My teenagers pack an overnight bag and still forget things or put unnecessary things in it!!!!
To be honest, I still take a lot of unnecessary stuff when I go away!
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