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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a 5 and 8 year old to be able to pack their own overnight bag?

491 replies

CrumpledCrumpet · 02/01/2022 11:25

I’ve asked 8 and 5yo DS’s to pack PJs and a change of clothes in a bag about half an hour ago. Despite increasingly stroppy reminders from me to stay on task, no progress is being made. AIBU to expect children of their age to be able to do this? I’m exasperated!

OP posts:
MadeOfStarStuff · 02/01/2022 11:34

8 year old yes with you checking it

5 year old not on their own but can help you do it

Changelingbutonlyforme · 02/01/2022 11:34

I’d expect an 8yr old to be able to do it with very specific instructions (so literally a list of pyjamas, clean socks+knickers, t’shirt, trousers, jumper) and I would have to check to make sure they chose sensible items. A five year old has no hope of getting this right in a reasonable timeframe. It would be far quicker to pack 5 year old’s bag with them. So literally tell them each item at a time and they put it in the bag. Also neither will think to add things like toothbrushes and a hairbrush without help.

sashagabadon · 02/01/2022 11:35

5 year old no. 8 year old possibly but with help.
I packed my own bag for a trip the other day, forgot my toothbrush, mascara and pj bottoms Confused

user1477391263 · 02/01/2022 11:35

My DD1 could do it by about 8, but I would check it for her. I would let a 5yo "have a go" but would probably have to make a lot of changes. Packing takes experience and even adults mess up sometimes--most 5yos will forget half the things they need (and make up for it by including about eight stuffed toys and half a dozen random bits of tat from around the house).

Changelingbutonlyforme · 02/01/2022 11:35

Although if this is something they do every week or every two weeks then they should get good at it and require less help.

Ovenaffray · 02/01/2022 11:35

8 maybe but I’d check. 5 - no chance.

Wagsandclaws · 02/01/2022 11:35

Ha ha my 9 year old would fill it with Lego and hot wheels 🤣

On a serious note my soon to be 13 yo yes maybe but not much younger than 10, depends on the child I suppose.

LittleBearPad · 02/01/2022 11:36

It would be done by now if you’d just done it - I’d imagine an 8 year old could get stuff out but I’d check it. The 5 year old no way. I would probably ask them to help by getting pjs, pants etc but would expect to be very specific.

linerforlife · 02/01/2022 11:36

I genuinely think you could have done this in the time it's taken to ask them? PJs, book, cuddly toy or whatever, outfit for next day, toothbrush and flannel? That would take me less than 5 mins doing it WITH them so they start to learn??

HesterShaw1 · 02/01/2022 11:37

A certain kind of 8 year old, maybe.

A 5 year old - are you having a laugh?

qualitygirl · 02/01/2022 11:37

Mine would and they are 6 and 8.

Merryoldgoat · 02/01/2022 11:37

My 8 yo could if I gave him relatively specific instructions but I’d still need to check.

At 5? No way at all.

Forgetaboutme · 02/01/2022 11:37

My 8 year old packs his own overnight bag (which i check) but I've only got him to do it himself over the last year. I think 5 is too young.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/01/2022 11:37

Whenever mine sleep at Granny's I send them off for pjs, an outfit for tomorrow and whichever Teddy they want to bring.

I pack them, so make sure they are suitable, but even at 5 they are both capable of collecting a set of pjs from a drawer, and the other necessary bits.

Vanillaradio · 02/01/2022 11:38

My 8 year old would do this but only with me standing over him. At 5- not a chance and I wouldn't even have thought to ask him.

PurplePikachu · 02/01/2022 11:38

DH was told to “pack for a holiday” when he was 10, so took a stack of comic books, an action man, one pair of pants and one t shirt. They went to Spain for 2 weeks and had to buy him all new clothes once they got there.

So…..yes I think your expectations are off here.

EllieSattler · 02/01/2022 11:38

My 7.5yo could do it if she was told explicitly what to pack.

My almost 5 year old had his clothes laid out this morning and it took him 45 minutes to put his pants on (backwards) so there's no hope there.

FourteenSixteenTwentyTwo · 02/01/2022 11:38

I’d ask my 4 year old to go get things, but I would have to list it - and be clear (get the dinosaur pjs from your bedroom drawer, etc). He’s hardly going to consider pjs or toothbrushes important without me telling him and I can’t imagine that will suddenly change on his birthday.

Iamanicepersonreally · 02/01/2022 11:38

The 8 year old, maybe. The 5 year old, absolutely no chance

sillysmiles · 02/01/2022 11:38

It really depends if you have already been training them to do this in smaller steps up to now.

LubaLuca · 02/01/2022 11:38

My MIL blamed me when my husband forgot to pack his pants when we went to visit them.

HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule · 02/01/2022 11:39

They can pack it (as in put it all into the bag) but they do need supervision/help.

The 8 year old might have been able to it all alone if he or she is used to choosing/putting together a full outfit. If not it will be too confusing/overwhelming to try to think of everything.

The 5 year old would struggle.

Florin · 02/01/2022 11:39

5 year old no way, 8 year old should be able to have a good go but I would expect a few random items and also a few essential items like toothbrush missing that I would have to put in. I would just pack for the 5 year old and ask the 8 year old to pack hers along side so put pj’s in and ask her to do the same. To be honest it’s not something I could exasperated about either do it yourself in a couple of minutes or if it is important for you for them to learn it themselves either do it with them or at least give them a list.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 02/01/2022 11:39

Pack their bags FFS you're their parent!

lollipoprainbow · 02/01/2022 11:39

Make lists, set a timer to gather things, check everything is there then get them to collect anything missed.

Or just pack for them HmmHmmHmm