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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a 5 and 8 year old to be able to pack their own overnight bag?

491 replies

CrumpledCrumpet · 02/01/2022 11:25

I’ve asked 8 and 5yo DS’s to pack PJs and a change of clothes in a bag about half an hour ago. Despite increasingly stroppy reminders from me to stay on task, no progress is being made. AIBU to expect children of their age to be able to do this? I’m exasperated!

OP posts:
Bagamoyo1 · 02/01/2022 11:26

Are you joking?

fucketyfuckwit · 02/01/2022 11:26

What!!??

No way would I expect this. I would perhaps say it as a game, but it would need to be re packed!

Is this a real question?

My 10 year old can but I would need to double check it.

JuneOsborne · 02/01/2022 11:27

A five year old? No way.

Simonjt · 02/01/2022 11:27

You’re exasperated because you can’t be bothered to pack for your own children Hmm

Didiplanthis · 02/01/2022 11:27

Ummm..
Yes very unreasonable ! They are tiny.. why can't you help them ? They will learn if you do it with them but I wouldn't expect them to be able to do it by themselves..

Totalwasteofpaper · 02/01/2022 11:28

8 year old fine and you check after
5 year old no chance

delilabell · 02/01/2022 11:28

No way. My 5 and 9 uear old would faff around, get distracted, wind each other up and tjem pack something random. You're asking a LOT from them

snackodactyl · 02/01/2022 11:28

Have you explained the process to them?

ScrumptiousBears · 02/01/2022 11:28

Errr no

vodkaredbullgirl · 02/01/2022 11:28
Hmm
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 02/01/2022 11:29

If I give my two DDs an itemised list, they can follow it. (I then double check). If I said sort clothes for the weekend, they would pack random items. Then are 8&10, weve this method for 18 months or so now.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 02/01/2022 11:29

I can only speak for myself but I would not have expected my 5 year olds to be able to do that

You know your children best and for you it's obviously something you think they can do so not sure what I can say really

2toastornot2toast · 02/01/2022 11:29

Yabu I've got 5 and 8 told and would expect this. Can you say not packed dont go?

TimeForTeaAndG · 02/01/2022 11:30

My 8yo has been able to pack her own bag for a year or so but she is very independent. She also always helped me pack when I was doing it for her so she knew what to put in.

Make lists, set a timer to gather things, check everything is there then get them to collect anything missed.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 02/01/2022 11:30

@Didiplanthis

Ummm.. Yes very unreasonable ! They are tiny.. why can't you help them ? They will learn if you do it with them but I wouldn't expect them to be able to do it by themselves..
An 8 year old isn't tiny Shock
Greydogs123 · 02/01/2022 11:30

Maybe if they have a pictorial list the 5 yr old could, but I wouldn't bank on it. The 8 yr old should be able to but it wouldn't be done very promptly and I think they would also need a list to follow. I think your expectations are a little high.

NiceTwin · 02/01/2022 11:31

Why stress them and you out by getting more and more annoyed when you could have done the task yourself in less than 5 minutes?
I think it's a bit much to ask, especially if a 5 year old.

WildNorthEast · 02/01/2022 11:31

I'd expect them to be able to get together a small list of things, say, pants/toothbrush/PJs. I think it's a bit too much responsibility to make them do it themselves, but I can understand your frustrations if you've asked them a lot of times to do something and you're being ignored. Could you maybe write a list for them both and make it into a treasure hunt game with a timer?

Doofas · 02/01/2022 11:31

My seven year old can get out what he needs for an overnight bag. But with supervision and help staying on task but my DH is very keen on independence so has been getting him to do this for s few years, which makes it easier as he now knows what's required. Starting in yeah isn't easy though, but that's an age/developmental thing and applies to everything!

snackodactyl · 02/01/2022 11:31

I think both are capable of it but only from my own experience, my DC know where their things are and how I’ve packed for them in the past. I think the key is involving them and educating. A lot of parents just expect their kids to know without explanation and that annoys the hell out of me.

2toastornot2toast · 02/01/2022 11:31

No sorry that should be not being unreasonable! Obviously against the grain but I would ask mine to do this and they would. At 5 they can find and put pjs in and choose clothes surely??

Aquamarine1029 · 02/01/2022 11:32

You are being ridiculously unreasonable, especially about the five year old. Is this a joke? Confused

BluebirdHill · 02/01/2022 11:32

Not at that age, and not without you showing them and giving them a list first. More like 10 upwards.

Chasingsquirrels · 02/01/2022 11:32

If you have been helping them towards this goal since they were toddlers, then it's maybe not an unreasonable ask.

If they've never had to do it before and you've suddenly said "pack your pj's and a change of clothes in a bag" with no instructions or supervision then it's probably unreasonable.

Blanca87 · 02/01/2022 11:32

Both mine can and one kid is 5. I just double check once they are done.