To expect a 5 and 8 year old to be able to pack their own overnight bag?

[CrumpledCrumpet]

I’ve asked 8 and 5yo DS’s to pack PJs and a change of clothes in a bag about half an hour ago. Despite increasingly stroppy reminders from me to stay on task, no progress is being made. AIBU to expect children of their age to be able to do this? I’m exasperated!

Not in mumsnet Land no, where kids have their asses wiped till their 18.

In the real world yes. Mine has been packing her own over ungut bag since 5. Unless there’s learning difficulties involved a 5 year old is perfectly capable of putting some clothes in a bag.

yabu. i would ask for help to teach responsibility but i wouldnt make them do it themself

I'm all for encouraging independence and tbf my 7 year old has a go at packing her stuff. I check it and the rucksack is full of teddies, LOL dolls, sparkly headbands and a couple of clashing and weather inappropriate items of clothing. No pyjamas, no pants, no socks, no toothbrush!

As pp said, if they have been specifically trained/helped to do this before then that’s different - the 8 year old would probably then be able to do it without any problem. But it would need to be many sessions over many weeks/months, not just showing them or telling them once.

The 5 year old would still need help. You could make them a picture checklist, for example.

Def not the five year old

By 8 my god daughter was more competent than her mother.

I'd expect an 8 year old to be able to do it well, but I'd check they had xyz.

I'd expect the 5 year old to get the bag, put cleans pants,pj!/'s etc in it with some random clothes. which I'd then add to, but to get a competent 8yo, you need to start much earlier & have some practice!!

I can't believe the panic over the fact you may have asked them to pack a bag 😂

Seriously though, give them a list and a sticker each if they manage it. You may need to keep redirecting them. I think its great practice to train them to do it themselves though. Keep at it.

@delilabell

No way. My 5 and 9 uear old would faff around, get distracted, wind each other up and tjem pack something random. You're asking a LOT from them

Yes it’s the faffing, getting distracted and winding each other up that’s the problem. I think I am just feeling a bit stressed and need to take a breath.

I don’t have an 8yo but my 5 year old couldn’t do this independently. Could get items requested ie go get 2 pairs of pants and put here. I think I’d check an 8 year olds packing as well to make sure nothing was forgotten.

An 8 year old perhaps, but not a 5 year old.

At 8 I would have been able to, no problem. But I was taught to be independent and capable. At 9 I was competently cooking a full breakfast for our household.

Really?

An 8 year old who is used to doing it and has a long standing routine for packing the things they need might do it.

5 year old? No.

The first time DS packed an overnight bag it contained his teddy and a book on cars! He has got better over the years (helped by having to pack for cub camps etc). But at 5yo certainly wouldn’t expect much success without supervision

It's really OK to help kids do things, they will still be able to do them as adults

I'm all for encouraging independence and tbf my 7 year old has a go at packing her stuff. I check it and the rucksack is full of teddies, LOL dolls, sparkly headbands and a couple of clashing and weather inappropriate items of clothing. No pyjamas, no pants, no socks, no toothbrush!

Curious at your reaction, what do you do if she does this? Do you then do it for her, or tell her what she's missing?

Sure! If you are ok with them packing a balloon, three dress up costumes and Teddy 😂

Yes it’s the faffing, getting distracted and winding each other up that’s the problem

This will go on for many more years…

How ridiculous.
5yo, not a chance in hell. 8, maybe, with an itemised list and i'dhave to check it.

FTR, despite visiting their dads every other weekend for the past 4 years, my two asd/adhd teens still can't pack their own bags unless i get them a detailed, itemised list of exactly what to pack, and clear instructions.

So 5 and 8? hahahahahahahaha. no.

@Mofomo

It's really OK to help kids do things, they will still be able to do them as adults

This ^

5 year old absolutely no way - get real!

8 year old totally depends on the child. My DD could have done this easily and whilst I would certainly have checked through her choices I'm pretty confident it wouldn't really have been necessary. My DS, just no way. He'd have had a go, but would have needed me to remind him of all the necessary items. He's 14 now and of course packs his own bags but still forgets stuff frequently.

Probably easiest if you want them to become self sufficient at packing to get them to bring you their bags and them you go through a tick list, getting them to fetch and bring them items to you to put in the bag. 5 year old would obviously still need some help with this. Make it fun, like a scavenger hunt and over time they will learn what needs to be packed.

An 8 year old is NOT tiny!!
And yes my 8 year old packs her own overnight bag. I do check it to make sure she’s not forgotten pants and I give her a list before she starts.
The 5 year old, no, I wouldn’t expect them to do it alone.
I used to go into their room and direct them - fetch some pants, find your toothbrush etc…
It’s a good thing to teach them to do.

I just asked my 8 yr old...what would you pack if I asked you to pack for one night away. Her answer...
My teddy
Clothes
Pjs
Socks
Underwear
My rubix cube
A book
And my toothbrush

I feel like that was 🙌 (although a hairbrush would be fab too!)

DD8, no problem.
DS5 - he would make a start but I’d need to check.

You are creating stress and drama for yourself. Just pack them yourself.

I guess if it's part of that whole boarding school mentality where kids have to fend for themselves from an early age, has its pros and cons