Having a baby your husband doesn't won't

[PullItUp]

Has anyone been through this?

Pregnant with a baby that wasn't planned that your husband doesn't want but you do? What do you do?

@ClaudiaJ1

But he always said he absolutely categorically was done with children after that as he had 3 and didn't want anymore.

Then why doesn't he have a vasectomy then??? He can't be too worried about having another child if he (and he is the one that causes the pregnancy) won't take the permanent solution. Especially as you're not getting on with hormonal contraception. He's got a cheek to be upset or 'not want' it. He should have had a vasectomy so it's his own fault. You've done your bit. Birthed his children. Took hormones and contraception. Time for him to step up. Tell him unless he has a vasectomy then he needs to accept the risk you will become pregnant again even after this one. I can't be doing with men who won't take responsibility. It's his sperm. It's his responsibility to have a vasectomy or use condoms and accept the risk with that.

Yes this!

👏👏👏

[quote youvegottenminuteslynn]**@ThymeTravel

So it's OK to remove the rights from the man, but not the woman? You can't have it both ways. It's about equally.

You can't have absolute equality when two parties cannot experience the same thing.

If men could carry babies then they would get the 'deciding vote', for want of a better phrase, on the baby they were carrying in their body. Rightly so.

Men do not have the "right" to decide if a woman carries and delivers a baby.

Women do have the "right" to decide whether or not they want to carry and deliver a baby with their own body.

I'm gobsmacked that instead of acknowledging that it's offensive to suggest women shouldn't have the final say as individuals when it comes to pregnancy, you've doubled down.

If you genuinely think that when it comes to a baby being carried and born, men and women get an EQUAL vote when one of them will be doing the carrying and birthing while the other doesn't, then I honestly don't think you could describe yourself as having feminist values.

Because an "equal" vote simply means men having autonomy over their own body AND that of women. And because there is no equivalent (you can't force a man to be pregnant) the same would never be true if the sexes were reversed. [/quote]
Was trying to articulate a reply to the scary nonsense of @ThymeTravel but @youvegottenminuteslynn has done it perfectly.

Goodness me, ThymeTravel’s viewpoints are confused and concerning. The lack of understanding and blind determination to fight logic is textbook MRM.

I would say this, TT, don’t waste your breath fighting for ‘men’s rights’, they don’t need you…

@SleepingStandingUp

If a man lies about wearing a condom it's considered rape in some places. Yet, if a woman lies about contraception and falls pregnant the man has no rights. How is that fair? I find your views highly disturbing, as you're implying that men have no rights in these scenarios. It's disgusting. So what rights would you give men? Many is pregnant, she told Steve was in the pill. She wasn't. She's pregnant. She wants it. He doesn't. What rights should Steve have beyond a right to an opinion?

Lying about contraception is messed up regardless of the liar's sex. It seems like you're implying it's ok (it's not)

Different if a man knowingly has unprotected sex with a woman not on contraception/open to pregnancy, then it's his problem, unfortunately

Man has unprotected sex with woman, knowing he does not want any more children.

Woman has unprotected sex with man, knowing he does not want any more children.

Both parties are equally foolish.

@RobertaFirmino Unless the woman wants one. (Not that I'm suggesting OP did this deliberately.)

What have you decided to do, @PullItUp ?

@ThymeTravel Equality has never ever been about taking away another persons self governance aka autonomy.

We all have autonomy, it’s actually part of our human development. Developmentally our stages of autonomy as we age does not differ between the sexes.

So, just as a woman ultimately has no equal say in a man’s choice to have a vasectomy because it is his body. A man has no say in whether a woman continues or discontinues with pregnancy because it is her body. Neither does a man have a say in how or where or with whom she gives birth because it is her body and giving birth is biologically happening to her body, her health risks and yes women still die in child birth in modern times.

Equality does not ever mean that people have an equal say in what happens to our bodies, to our personal lives.

It is immoral to take away people’s freedom of choice, their autonomy. No one should morally have that right over another person, not a husband or a wife. The only exception would be of reduced capacity or because of their age and stage of development they are not able to make certain decisions. And even there we should tread carefully and seek to allow as much freedom of choice as possible and where appropriate.

So, in conclusion I disagree with you that morally a man has a right to a say in the decision about ending or continuing a pregnancy.

He does have the right to not participate, the right to leave.